Rejected gift AIBU to be offended

Delila

Some young children have quite a conscience and perhaps your GD had an idea you might not be able to afford to give her money you really need for yourself? Perhaps saying “no” tactfully was tricky for her, so she just resorted to an unadorned rejection.

My first thought was along those lines. I remember my gs at about that age insisting that I didn’t buy him something as he said “it was greedy”. He remained like this and would only accept so much and no more. His brother wasn’t like this and loved having money given him. I remember about that time after having relatives giving him money he came to me and asked if I would put it into a savings account I had opened for him. I suggested he bought something he wanted first. He replied it was too much money “for a kid like me”. I was amused at the time. He has grown up and remained very balanced and sensible with money. He spends and he saves. He works in finance now after studying financial economics at university (first class degree). He is the only one in the family like this. He just thinks things through.

So instead of asking why she didnt want the money the first day and understanding where your own grandchild came from, you judge her upbringing and scold her

I wouldn't be surprised if she never accepts anything from you ever again

I m glad you resolved it but honestly I think it’s a big fuss about nothing she said she didn’t want it (for whatever reason) I would have accepted her decision put it back in my purse and waited to be asked if she changed her mind but I don’t think I’d have felt so rebuffed as you I also don’t see it as her being rude apart from she should have added a thank you but she’s only 8 who knows what was going on in her head
Not the end of the world

Thanks for all your replies. She asked for it the next day but I said no
She's quite spoilt and gets bought everything she asks for as she's an only child. I think she was quite shocked that I said no. Lesson learned there

That sentence went awry, didn't it?

Hithere

She is only 8 and she is young
She could have phrased it better but she is the child and OP is the adult.
Usually the adult is able to regulate the emotions better than a child
I am glad her mother supported her decision

I wonder why OP considers this is a big deal, isn't the company and having fun with the family more important?

Why taint the relationship for just a present?

I agree with this.

Why be angry without knowing why she rejected the money without knowing why she did it?

I would have had a chat with them to see why they didn’t want the gift. At that age they should be able to explain their feelings, as it is very odd behaviour particularly as they have had the same before.

Sounds very strange, but I would just have said OK . I only had money refused once because it was only a pound (15 years ago). Children are funny.

I would be angry! My GD is 8 years old and most certainly would know what a £10 was !! She would also be delighted to be given cash like that. I do think your GD was ill mannered and should know better. Her mother should have pulled her into line. If my GD refused my gift in such a rude fashion I would make quite sure she knew how cross I was. I would put it in my purse and say " if you don't want it I will have it back and buy myself a treat" I would certainly not give it to her mother to keep for her to spend later. At 8 years old she should know better. Very ungrateful.

She is only 8 and money probably means nothing to her.
I always take a little something everytime I see the GC - sometimes it’s just a little bar of chocolate, sometimes it’s a little toy, but I never go empty handed. The little 5 year old always asks me ‘what have you brought for me Nan?’ (much to his mum’s annoyance)- they are not little for long and I will not be here forever - so why not?

Would be offended but lesson learnt wouldn’t offer it again!

I'd just have offered the other two an extra fiver.

Try not to take it personally. My six yr old GS hardly knows what cash is. You used to be able to children to the shop with coins but my AC hardly ever go shopping, it's all done online. When I go to the shops with GC (and that's rare) I pay by card. Cash is fast becoming a relic from the olden days for the young.

She is only 8 and she is young
She could have phrased it better but she is the child and OP is the adult.
Usually the adult is able to regulate the emotions better than a child
I am glad her mother supported her decision

I wonder why OP considers this is a big deal, isn't the company and having fun with the family more important?

Why taint the relationship for just a present?

I have an 8 year old Gdd and I would hope she’d never be so rude and ungrateful.
My Gdcs enjoy putting any donated cash in their money boxes.

I would have said I will give it to mummy to look after in case you change your mind.

Goodness me, she’s 8. Children do these kind of things. I would have smiled at her and let her know I would keep it for next time. Maybe she should have accepted it politely, but it isn’t worth getting upset about.

As a child I had it drummed into me to accept all gifts with a word of thanks, regardless of whether or not they were to my taste. I loved getting money because there was always something I was "saving up" for. I was born with a collector mentality. If I didnt immediately say "thank you" some adult would prompt me.

Very bad manners and very hurtful. I wouldn't have lived to tell the tale if I'd done that as a child. Even if she didn't know what it was (and I'm not totally convinced about that) it was obvious granny was doing something nice. Your DD was culpable too, if not more so.

Bad manners, in my opinion.

I must add though, I never gave it without checking with parents first. If they said no, I wouldn’t give it.

I’ve never had money or a gift refused, I would just say OK and not make a big deal of it.

She probably didn't know what is was, most of the younger generation don't carry or use cash. My 6 year old grandson asked me what my house phone was for the other day because Mummy doesn't have one 🤷‍♀️
Joking aside though, I would have popped it back in my purse

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

If I, or anyone else, give my GDs money, they often pass it to their mum to put on their card! It’s a different world…

I can see that the refusal would have hurt though.

Maybe next time, open your purse and say ‘Does anyone want a £10 note for the sea front?’ Then each one can accept or refuse without any awkwardness.