Are table manners important anymore?

I think manners generally are important. Good manners together with a smile will get you a long way in life!

Manners in general work well for me.

Good heavens TwinLolly - I was taught not to start eating until everyone was seated and served (and where appropriate Grace had been said), and not to leave the table until everyone had finished eating (and if someone was a slow eater, to moderate my pace of eating to match theirs).

I think table manners are extremely important and should be taught to children as a matter of course - like when they're potty trained, learn to read, tie shoe laces, etc.
I went for a meal with my younger cousin and her 10 year old son a while back - I was astounded to see him eating with his fingers and chewing with his mouth open & her not correcting him!
My toes were curling I was so appalled and I had to really try hard not to question her or tell him off.
It spoiled our meal for me and made me wonder how and why he's like this.

I think it is important.

Occasionally I have a meal at a friend's house with her family and even though I've not finished eating and they have - they get up from the table and start clearing it rather than sitting with me while I finish my meal. It means I feel rushed to finish my meal and really wish the parents would sit down with me.

Ok, fine if the kids want to get up and go to play, but the adults start clearing the table around me.

When that family have a meal with us, we don't get up from the table until everyone is finished (well... I do eat slowly unfortunately so they have to wait for me until we serve the next course!)

Oh, and I've seen how some folks hold their knives and forks. Yikes! (But that isn't the issue here, it's table manners).

As I said above FP, the public school boys - I don’t know about girls - did not generally do well in the lunch part of the interview. And of course they have to be able to perform well in front of clients not only in the office but in social situations. Young people ignore the importance of good manners at their peril - their potential employers are of a different generation to whom social niceties are important.

Yes, they are. I was amazed to see grand-daughter 15, with arm across table between plate and herself, and shovelling food backwards with fork at strange angle! She is in a posh private school and said they all eat like that. Same for a good friend's daughter recently 14. When I jokingly mentionned this, my young friend said 'oh come on, these things don't matter these days anymore'. I zipped it, but was surprised.

Table manners are extremely important to me and I did my best to teach my children to eat politely. They haven’t passed this on to my GC whose table manners are almost non existent. They are however unfailingly polite in other ways. I say nothing although I find this difficult. In general I only comment positively. I clearly remember the opinionated comments made by my father and others of his generation. It wasn’t helpful!

Does anyone care any more?

Yes.

People note when people eat quietly, don't shovel, don't chew with mouth open, sit with hands folded. Yes it matters.

Yes. I think they are but I'm don't worry if people adopt American or French practices.

They matter to me.

GSM I can remember being taken out to lunch as part of the interview process. One company took all short listed applicants for their Graduate Traiing Scheme away for a weekend. I think that also included seeing how much we drank.

Our three were taught good table manners from an early age, our grandchildren are now being taught good table manners.

Last month we were having lunch with senior staff who work for our client, they have many degrees between but no table manners.

That’s interesting GSM !

I always thank car drivers who stop to let me across the road and grateful for any help
Sorry, this isn’t about manners. This is about the law!
You have a right to cross the road. Pedestrians have a right of way. The law was changed recently to emphasise this.
I am sick of crossing when a car just drives at me. I had to jump into a hedge last month when a car drove towards where I was crossing a car park and suddenly turned towards me. No indicators, no slowing down. I was “lucky” there was a hedge.
I was late for a class because I spent 10 minutes attempting to cross the road. I told the class why I was late and a driver said she’d never let a pedestrian cross because another car might run into her. I asked if she felt the same about roundabouts and. Red light, other places she was legally required to stop.
We must reign in some of the terrible attitudes that exist on the roads. And it starts with us all.

I grew up in another country and the manners are different. I'm not fussed about where their elbows are or how they use cutlery.

I agree that table manners (and polite behaviour in general) are about showing consideration for other people. Children learn by example. You can teach them what to do by sitting all together and having pleasant and civilised meals. OK sometimes I do remind them to stay seated or whatever, but my general philosophy is to model the considerate behaviour.

Manners do matter. Table manners, thank you notes, basic courtesies. In some big law firms applicants for training contracts are taken out for lunch. They think it’s a social occasion - it’s not, it’s part of the interview process and their manners are carefully noted. Public school boys tend not to score too well.

I think manners matter. Polite people make a positive impression wherever they go.
I'm in a quandary about my niece. Over the years I've given her very nice presents, passed on good jewellery etc however, it never seems to occur to her to say thank you. Not even a quick text. DD and I don't know what to make of it. If she's like this in her work and life generally she'll not be doing herself any favours. I've left her a little money in my will but won't be giving her any more gifts. All due to her lack of basic manners.

Eating with an open mouth crammed food, I meant! As well as talking ditto.

I’m not quite as particular as my father was - mealtimes could be a trial, with the constant exhortations to do, or not do, this or that, but I do still think they’re important, and am very glad I was taught how to behave at the table.

A friend of ours, OTOH, who’s no longer with us, had the most appalling table manners - among other things, shovelling food in, eating and talking with his mouth so full - there was always an argument between dds as to who was not going to sit opposite him at the table! It was honestly gross.

Evidently he hadn’t been taught as a child, but he’d been very successful in his career and was very sociable, so how on earth he hadn’t picked up acceptable manners along the way I will never understand.

A while ago now, we took our DGD, age 10, to a restaurant where table etiquette was strongly adhered to. After her asking why there were different sets of cutlery and why they were placed in a certain position, she is now quite fastidious about laying the table correctly! This is not to show off, but more to make an art of it and to give a sort of dining experience! On the other hand, she is equally adept at eating with her hands.
A sense of occasion is what matters I guess.

For me, bringing up my children, table manners were mainly about showing consideration for other people and also so that they wouldn't embarrass themselves when eating outside the home. So correct use of cutlery, eating with mouth closed, not speaking with mouth full, trying not to eat noisily (slurping soup for example!). Other former 'sins' like elbows on the table never bothered me. Reading the newspaper at the breakfast table was always a thing in our house, so it didn't worry me if the children wanted to read a book or finish homework at breakfast although perhaps not at other times - although we didn't do the family meal at the table thing because the children ate earlier than we did, in front of the TV. I am new to grandparenting and my GD is only 7 months old, her 'manners' at being weaned are questionable, lol! But I am confident her parents will do a good job of teaching her how to behave, as she gets older.

I also think it's the height of bad manners to comment on or criticise other people's manners - the polite thing to do is to ignore (apart from your own children, of course!).

Most of us were taught table manners, these days they are “relaxed” somewhat but still good. Around the Christmas table we had all ages 5-75, table manners were good, although inevitably elbows were on the table as we chatted.
When there were 8 young children we gave them their own table, the older ones looked after the younger ones and could have their own chat, that worked really well and removed all the stress.

What are manners but courtesy and consideration for other people? They mutate and change over time, but the principle behind them remains unchanged.

So children should learn to sit ata a table, stay there until allowed to get down, handle cutlery and eat in a way that does not disgust others and take part in conversation.

The minutae of what cutlery you use for what and how you do it is mere persiflage. The Americans use cutlery differently to us and forks only came into everyday use in the 17th century.

I often tell the grandchildren that they shouldn't eat with their mouth open or loll on the table. Even in the presence of the parents who have said it's OK. I asked my son.

I always said to my children, and now say it to the DGC, you can do what you like here in the family but just know how you SHOULD be behaving for when you are eating out or are with other people. My son said that he thinks they should be behaving when they're with us.

All my children have strict rules about staying sat up during meals and no phones or books at the table.

So, yes. I think table manners matter, out of respect for those eating with you. Not necessarily which fork or spoon to use, but maintaining basic decency, such as not making a mess, talking with your mouth full, interrupting people, running about, or slumping on the table.