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Are table manners important anymore?

(157 Posts)
Ashcombe Wed 03-Jan-24 07:41:32

The importance of having good manners was instilled in me from an early age, both at home and at school. In turn, this was how our children were brought up and I’m pleased to see my grandchildren are, too.

I think it stems from showing consideration for others so holding doors open, acknowledging drivers who give way or stop at a crossing or letting another vehicle into a queue is routine. Who know? It could just brighten their day and inspire them to do likewise!

BigBertha1 Wed 03-Jan-24 07:09:37

Yes I believe they are but perhaps not as rigidly as enforced when we were younger. You only have to witness the carnage in Wetherspoons on a Saturday morning to see what happens when children are allowed to run about and throw food at each other.

grandMattie Wed 03-Jan-24 05:54:07

I was brought up very very strictly re. table manners, but was very confused as the French table manners are often the opposite of the British ones. Elbows on the table for example.
My children were brought up no eating with their mouths open, speaking with their mouths full, etc., but not very strict.
What I can’t abide is the fork in a closed fist, knives in the left hand for a right handed person, and worst of all, keeping arms on the table and lowering the head to the “trough”. Ugh!

Whiff Wed 03-Jan-24 05:45:59

I was brought up that table manners were important. We brought our children up to have good table manners and my grandson's have been brought up the same.

It's not just table manners that are important but manners in general . Please and thank you don't cost anything. Treating people how you want to be treated is how I was brought up and still do that to this day. I hate queue jumpers which happened a lot where I used to live but not found it here in the north west.

I always thank car drivers who stop to let me across the road and grateful for any help I need.

If you bring a child up with good manners from very young it's something they have for life.

Unfortunately we are supposed to be living in a more enlightened age where people aren't supposed to be discriminated against. I am disabled but found no discrimination since moving here. Unfortunately I had abuse shouted at me where I used to live. And was bullied everyday day at high school it was late 60-70's . But unfortunately bullying is still very much part of school life and the bullying is worse online but they are cowards who do that at least I faced my bullies.

Can't remember anyone committing suicide when I was at school but many children have since technology . It's begs the question are parents not teaching their children to fight back or are children to frightened to tell their parents ?

Is life to easy for children nowadays and they aren't taught coping mechanisms?

I wasn't brought up with money if you wanted anything you saved and worked. No bank of mom and dad a phase I hate. Both my children paid for their own weddings and have brought their own houses with no help from me. I was widowed 20 years next month my husband was 47 I was 45. But we had already taught them manners and hard work and saving.

welbeck Wed 03-Jan-24 04:49:59

anything that does not impinge adversely on others' eating experience sounds fine to me.
i went to a school where you were not allowed to touch the banisters when using the stairs.
we also had to curtsey to the headmistress every morning.
i think all that, along with noticing how others eat and sit at table, is rightly consigned to the victorian era.
and i don't mean the state of victoria.
i'm with you on this, nanna8.

nanna8 Wed 03-Jan-24 04:27:35

Most people put elbows on the table quite often here. Maybe that rule dated back to dirty tables or dirty clothes ? A lot just use forks here,too rather than knives and forks. No worries.

mclaysmith Wed 03-Jan-24 03:56:06

Both my husband’s parents, and mine, were very particular about table manners. “Mabel, Mabel, elbows off the table”, etc. Does anyone care anymore?
Do you bother teaching the GCs good manners when their parents aren’t there?