Returning to the UK

This is heartbreaking. I do hope that you return to the thread angelbreeze as there is some great advice here for you.

I’m wondering what your son’s reaction would be if he knew that you were going to take legal advice?

Please do use the site mentioned by other posters angelbreeze, it’s a step towards some control of a very nasty situation. You must feel very betrayed by your son. Please tell us what you decide and how you get on. There is concern for you here.

This is horrible to read, your son has been very greedy and manipulative. Do you have any friends at all out there?
As others have said, you need to stay in the cottage until this is sorted out. I feel for you.

Please be careful about a return to the UK. I am 72 and after losing my villa and business in Spain, all the estate agents I contacted said they don’t accept pensioners to rent.
It was very worrying. Ohs ex boss let us rent from him but it hasn’t been easy. Try to stay where you are.

That is real elder abuse and I think I would take advice of those on here pointing towards the French legal website.

Flicking quickly through the gouv.fr website , this explains possible situations and how to act:

www.pour-les-personnes-agees.gouv.fr/preserver-son-autonomie-s-informer-et-anticiper/les-mesures-de-protection/abus-de-faiblesse-des-personnes-agees-dans-quelles-situations

It is also worth saying that you can post on Strictly Legal France as Anonymous Poster.
You obviously have to be on or join Facebook first.

AngelBreeze - you say you are legally "homeless" thete but have a cottage on the same land. Can you see if a lawyer can help you split the cottage off if you can prove your money went into the purchase? The website that Joseann just suggested may be helpful?

What percentage of the original purchase price was your money?
Do you have anything in messages or emails that supports you having been told you couldn't go on the deeds or that this wasn't a gift to them?

I would try to get my "ducks in a row" and try to get help. At least if you are doing something you will feel a bit better I think.

I m really concerned angelbreeze hasn’t come back
Are you ok?

Go into angloinfo.com online .... it is a site for British people living in France and there are separate branches for different areas of France. Log in to the one for your area and post your dilemma on their forum. I am sure someone will respond and that will give you English speaking people to discuss this with and hopefully offer advice or a hand hold during your efforts to sort this out via the links you have been given on here.
I am sorry that you find yourself in this situation.

If you apply for a care home in the UK (I know that is not what you want to do but bear with me). When you apply, the powers that be will look into your finances especially when you had a home three years ago but sold it to give the money to your son who has now in a way, stolen it. The government can claim all the money back from your son as they will consider it as trying to get free care when in fact you could have paid for it.

If your son knows that you have written to the local council in the UK enquiring about care homes and have received a reply from them explaining the position, it might just terrify him to know that he will have to give all the money back you gave him to pay for your care in the care home.

It is illegal for someone to give away their money to get free care in a care home and the government have the right to claw it all back from the person you gave it to.

Tell him that you are going ahead with the move back to the UK and if he does not give you the money back, (or the amount you would like to ensure your future) you will let the powers that be take action.

He needs to be afraid of what you may do and this may just give him a kick up the backside and think twice about what he has done to you.

I think this thread should be a warning to people who are pressurised or persuaded by their offspring to up sticks and move home to be closer to them, move in with them or pool their resources to buy a bigger property together.

Sadly I know of several cases where this has happened. One had tragic consequences which I won’t go into on here. The others did not work out because people moved to isolated properties where they were really lonely when their families went to work. If you have friends, nice neighbours, a home you like and you can get to shops, GP, library etc then I would say, stay put!

Wise words, Primrose53!

AlwaysSmiling, the OP did not deliberately give away her money in order to obtain free care - that is the situation a local authority (not the government) would look into. She has, if you like, been scammed.

Jaxjacky

I would suggest you post what you’ve posted here on this site

yes, post on this site with names, addresses, email, bring everything into the light, don’t forget we have an EmbSsy in FrNce. Good luck OP

Germanshepherdsmum

*AlwaysSmiling*, the OP did not deliberately give away her money in order to obtain free care - that is the situation a local authority (not the government) would look into. She has, if you like, been scammed.

GSM but how is it even possible to hand over the value of a house and savings to someone else? surely the tax office would be notified.. or the solicitor would raise questions

She sold her house. That would not attract tax. She gave the money to her son. That would only attract UK inheritance tax if she died within seven years. If you’re of sound mind you can do what you want with your money - but if you give it away in order to escape paying for care the gift may be reversed.

NotSpaghetti

AngelBreeze - you say you are legally "homeless" thete but have a cottage on the same land. Can you see if a lawyer can help you split the cottage off if you can prove your money went into the purchase? The website that Joseann just suggested may be helpful?

What percentage of the original purchase price was your money?
Do you have anything in messages or emails that supports you having been told you couldn't go on the deeds or that this wasn't a gift to them?

I would try to get my "ducks in a row" and try to get help. At least if you are doing something you will feel a bit better I think.

Great advice.

I feel worried that angelbreeze may feel so upset over being told her son is scamming her She loves her son and it’s heartbreaking to think your own flesh and blood is harming you
Do come back and let us know you’re ok angelbreeze

Germanshepherdsmum

She sold her house. That would not attract tax. She gave the money to her son. That would only attract UK inheritance tax if she died within seven years. If you’re of sound mind you can do what you want with your money - but if you give it away in order to escape paying for care the gift may be reversed.

Thankyou GSM... I'm just amazed that the conveyancing solicitor didn't say anything but obviously not their remit..

He may not even have known of her involvement. Probably done by a French lawyer.

The purchase will have been done by a French notaire in France. If the funds had been transferred and the purchase made by the son and his wife with no mention of his mother, then I think that nobody would have known of her involvement.

Some UK law firms have people qualified to practise in France, but any lawyer will only know as much as the clients - son and daughter in law - tell them.

www.gov.uk/guidance/using-the-nhs-when-you-return-to-live-in-the-uk
Not strictly relevant to the OP’s problem, but something I came across to be aware of for any British citizens who return to the UK after living abroad.
I feel so sad for you in this tricky situation with your son. I hope you get the help you need.

Cabbie21

www.gov.uk/guidance/using-the-nhs-when-you-return-to-live-in-the-uk
Not strictly relevant to the OP’s problem, but something I came across to be aware of for any British citizens who return to the UK after living abroad.
I feel so sad for you in this tricky situation with your son. I hope you get the help you need.

The OP is of state pensionable age and moved in 2020 so she should have been able to obtain an S1 form from the Overseas Health Team. This means that the UK has remained responsible for funding her health care in France and she continues to be entitled to use the NHS, whether living in France or in the UK.