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AIBU

Disabled parking, is it fair?

(198 Posts)
Quizzer Sat 20-Jan-24 13:19:59

I spotted an acquaintance’s car parked in a disabled bay at our local supermarket, there were no other free bays.
Yes, she is nearly 80, but she is extremely active. I mentioned it to her as I think this is unacceptable and hoped I could embarrass her not to do it again.
She said “Oh I do have a disabled badge but I didn’t have it with me”. I inquired what her disability was and she said she has a bad shoulder. It is obviously so bad that she has had to restrict her golfing to playing 18 holes only two or three times a week!
Does she really have a disabled badge for this, or was she lying?

Primrose53 Sat 20-Jan-24 19:20:55

I just remembered another reason our Tesco staff will not go out and tell people off for wrongly parking in a Blue badge bay or a Parent and Child space.

They think it’s not their job and someone might turn on them. It’s the same at hospitals which have huge signs up saying No Smoking anywhere on this site. Even Security staff are wary of saying anything and medical staff say it’s not their job.

Debbi58 Sat 20-Jan-24 20:01:00

Primrose53
I have a blue badge and i pretty sure we can park in parent and child , if the disabled spaces are full, but not vice versa , if that makes sense . I've had my badge a few years now , i'm 60 this year and at first glance I certainly don't look disabled. I have rheumatoid arthritis as well as osteoarthritis, 3 prolapse discs in my spine and bursitis over both hips. I don't always use a stick, depending on how swollen my ankles are . I often get ' looks ' from other disabled driver when I first park up . However if I forgot my badge , I would park elsewhere

65KL Sat 20-Jan-24 21:22:47

Callistemon21
OK , I stand corrected, obviously very occasionally( in my opinion )someone without a blue badge displayed dose have one .
Your husband did the right thing and didn't park in the disabled spot.

Anyone I've ever confronted has admitted not having one and asked what was I going to do about it . ( plus a few extra words I can't post here )

Chardy Sat 20-Jan-24 22:17:26

Another vote for 'Blue badges are very difficult to obtain'.

Callistemon21 Sat 20-Jan-24 22:18:10

Chardy

Another vote for 'Blue badges are very difficult to obtain'.

Impossible!!

nanna8 Sat 20-Jan-24 22:22:51

I wouldn’t park in one of those spaces here. The local vigilantes would swoop on you- same as if you dropped litter, no one would dare! Australia is like that.

Callistemon21 Sat 20-Jan-24 22:23:08

65KL

Callistemon21
OK , I stand corrected, obviously very occasionally( in my opinion )someone without a blue badge displayed dose have one .
Your husband did the right thing and didn't park in the disabled spot.

Anyone I've ever confronted has admitted not having one and asked what was I going to do about it . ( plus a few extra words I can't post here )

But was it the right thing to do? He then had quite a trek to get to the entrance!

That's another bone of contention. Disabled parking spaces at the hospitals are extremely limited and not really near the entrances, at least no nearer the entrances than other parking spaces.

petra Sat 20-Jan-24 22:33:30

OP You certainly chose a username to suit your character.
Quizzer Perfect 👌

Deedaa Sat 20-Jan-24 22:36:58

My husband had a blue badge. It didn't get used much because he rarely came out except for hospital visits. It did help at the hospital because parking spaces were almost impossible to find, but you did have a chance of finding a disabled one.

My mother in law had extremely limited mobility and had to struggle to get in and out of the car. I took her to Waitrose once and. as there were disabled spaces right by the door, I asked a security guard if I could park there for 15 minutes. He said it was fine, we popped (hobbled) in and got her bit of shopping, and off we went.

CanadianGran Sat 20-Jan-24 22:38:20

Quizzer, you were right to question her right to use the spot, but not right to ask what her disability was.

Here disability permits are issued by a doctor, then you bring the form to the driving license office. Usually the tags are then noted with a date of expiry. Some can be indefinite, some limited (for instance broken leg). When my MIL was less able to walk, she had one that she kept in her handbag. We never had any issues finding a spot, but I do understand that some might in busier towns or cities.

Shame on the people that do mis-use them.

65KL Sat 20-Jan-24 23:45:19

Callistemon21
Yes it was , as to use disabled parking you are required to show your disability card/badge.
Sadly we cant rely on people to do the right thing therefore we need rules , even then people don't care.

Whiff Sun 21-Jan-24 07:51:36

I have had a disabled badge since 1988 when it was orange and had to get my GP to fill in the form to qualify for the badge . Have renewed every 3 years since it costs £10 . I don't drive but I can use it on any car . Didn't used to be like that in the early days had to put down a car registration number.

If people ask me what's wrong with them I do tell them but only since 2022 when I was finally diagnosed with what I was born with and it's rare.

People need to realise some people have hidden disabilities. Plus parents have a blue badge for a disabled child. It doesn't have to be a physical disability but you can get the badge if you have heart ,bowel or bladder problems,autism and other hidden disabilities.

They have tighten up the rules you can get it this time but it was so easy for me to apply online and you have to take your own picture to include your shoulders which isn't easy as my hands tremble.

I have never abused my badge. My health and mobility was so bad in from 1988 I went in a wheelchair because our children where young and my walking was so bad even with my stick and I fell a lot.

This happened years ago my late husband was going to pull into a disabled parking bay at a large shopping centre near to where I used to live . A man pulled in first got out of this car and ran into the shop shouting only a minute. My husband was fuming so he parked the back of this person's car. A security guard can over and told my husband he couldn't park there. My husband explained what happened. He wasn't blocking another car but this one. So we went to do our shopping and 3 hours later arrived back at the car to find the owner of the car fly out of it and started to have a go at my husband . My husband told him look at my wife . And my husband said I hope you have learnt your lesson because if you do this again even if there are disabled bays free I will block you in again. My husband had written down his number plate.

When I display my blue badge I always put the timer on as well . It's not always necessary but it goes back to the days of orange badge when you had to.

For anyone who thinks it's easy for disabled people to get any help they need especially financial . It took me 35 years to finally get PIP last year . I had been trying since 1988 and was turned down because of no diagnosis. My husband died 20 years next month aged 47. I was 45 . Anybody who thinks a young widow gets anything you are sadly mistaken . I was allowed £2,000 from the government and didn't have to pay tution for my son to go to uni.

Once I had my diagnosis I foolishly thought finally I would get PIP but no after my phone assessment of hour and 46 mins I was given zero on everything on the forms my daughter filled in for me. It's only finding out about the Brain Charity they helped me and got me a solicitor pro bono who applied for PIP tribunal July 2022 finally got to tribunal end of August 2023. As the tribunal has a judge it's really a court and finally got the financial helped I have needed especially since my husband died. Enhanced for living and mobility indefinitely and they back dated until March 2022 when I asked for the forms. And they can't take it off me because it's a court decision.

I have face disabled discrimination all my life and bullied everyday at high school . But the worst discrimination is from DWP . I am now 65.

Never think just because a person has a blue badge that they don't need it . I look normal sitting it's only when I move you can see I am disabled.

Yes all benefits have there abusers but that's the minority. People like me have to fight for years to get help . Even when my mom lived with me the last 18 months of her life I was only allowed carers allowance for 6 months because I was told my mom would get better by DWP my mom had cancer and dementia.

It's only because our McMillan nurse filled in the forms for my husband when he was terminal as they refused him saying they had given him years . My husband had been given 4 months to 2 years he didn't live 4 months.

You would think in these so called enlighten times disabled people would be able to get the help they need . Just hope none of you ever have to go through what I have . And I have heard worse stories than mine over the years .

Whiff Sun 21-Jan-24 07:54:41

Forgot to say the hospital my husband had to go too for treatment still made disabled badge users pay for parking . I hope this has changed since 2003/2004.

Knitandnatter Sun 21-Jan-24 08:10:25

Phillipa111............"I'm still not right , don't have a disabled badge and spend quite a lot of money on parking as buses don't always go where I need and I can't walk there. Also taxi fares."

I have a Disabled parking permit, which I had to pay for, but it still does NOT entitle me to free parking everywhere - I mostly have to pay the same amount as other car drivers. I have only ever had free parking at our local hospital.

Marydoll Sun 21-Jan-24 08:11:02

Years ago after being off long term sick, I returned to work on a phased return basis.
I parked in a disabled bay at the Education dept. Offices, got out of the car and went to get my Blue Badge from my bag in the boot.
A car drew up, a woman got out and told me I wasn't disabled and couldn't park there. She was shouting and ranting at me. I told her I had a badge, she stormed off, still ranting and went into the Offices, demanding to know who I was, still insisting I wasn't disabled.
That woman was THE DIRECTOR OF EDUCATION.

The problem is I look so well and don't look disabled, despite having had a Blue Badge for twenty years, due to multiple comorbidities. That badge enabled me to keep working, because I could get to work and various meeting, on the occasions when I could hardly walk and/or breathe. The L.A actually painted an extra disabled bay in our tiny school car park, otherwise I would have probably expired trying to climb the steep hill to the school.

You never know what a person's conditions are.

Where I live, the disabled bays are always full of non badge users, they don't care.

NotSpaghetti Sun 21-Jan-24 08:37:03

I find the "no badge" disabled particularly galling at the gym.

I commented in the busy changing room one day (when I was a new member) that of the 12 or so cars parked in disabled bays I hadn't seen a single badge. Quite a discussion followed- one woman said she "always" parked there but would stop doing so as she always thought there was "enough" space. Another told me the next time I saw her that she'd made her husband move the car out of a disabled bay as she'd been thinking about how she would feel if she needed one.

Sometimes people just have never bent their minds to why people might need different access and how frustrating it might be to not be able to just get on with your life as others do for the sake of a parking spot.

Over the last two years the parking bays are definitely being used better. I do feel this stems from peer pressure growing. I've heard others discussing these bays in the coffee bar over the Christmas period so 🤞 we may make small changes by keeping talking.

As I say to others. Although I have arthritis and other aches and pains I am grateful to be able to manage without a disabled badge. It is a privilege to be able to do so.

eazybee Sun 21-Jan-24 10:33:49

I would never query someone using a disabled space, having done so once and learned that the young, apparently healthy and physically-able young person had motor neurone disease.
I do object to mother and baby spaces though, as parents are young, fit and healthy (disabled parents have the badges). I parked in one some years ago just before Christmas, having checked with Sainsbury's first, who said if no other spaces were available it was allowed. I received the most threatening abuse from two sets of parents, in front of their children, when I returned to my car laden with shopping, because they had to park some rows away, and they knew I hadn't any children because they had checked my car for 'signs of children'. I called the security guard, who 'told them to desist', very firmly.

Georgesgran Sun 21-Jan-24 10:38:32

I’m sure Parent and Child spaces were unheard of when my DDs were small - 40 odd years ago.
However, what I would say is having children is a choice, being disabled is not.

Freya5 Sun 21-Jan-24 10:39:54

dragonfly46

I have more of a problem with the mother and child spaces as they seem to be nearer to the door and often there is no child to be seen. At least Blue Badge holders generally display their badge.

Yes, or they have a ten year old who jumps sprightly out of said car, no need for a pushchair space, which is what they were intended for.
I find it's mostly young fit men, couples, who park in mother and baby spaces. See it regularly as I walk past them to get into the shop.,

Callistemon21 Sun 21-Jan-24 10:48:59

Parent and child spaces are useful if the parent has to get the child out of the car and into a pushchair; it's safer to do that at the side of the car than at the rear where there is moving traffic. Or taking out a baby seat and clipping it to the trolley.
I would have welcomed them when mine were very young.

However, the use of these spaces is abused far more often by parents with older children who think they are entitled to use them just because they have children, than disabled spaces ever are.

maddyone Sun 21-Jan-24 10:57:15

Hithere

None of your business

Of course it’s her business! Misuse of disability parking spaces is an offence, and prevents other people who are genuinely unable to walk far from using them.
I genuinely wonder why anyone would be so abrupt and defensive about such a post.

Gwyllt Sun 21-Jan-24 11:01:00

My blue badge is still valid but I no longer need to use it However just before Christmas the weather was cold and it was hammering down and I felt really exhausted Ipulled into the local supermarket car park And yes I pulled into a disabled space.
As I got out I noticed a woman , in scouse terms best described as all fur coat and no knickers She followed me into the supermarket and in the entrance started to rant asking me if it was my badge etc
It so happened a couple of guys I know stopped to listen. I listened politely and smiled
After a bit I asked her had she finished. At which point I slowly unzipped my fleece to show her my open chest surgery scar.
She looked a little embarrassed and the two guys supported me. And added by the way she also has two hip replacements
At that point I got a muffled apology as she shuffled away.
Hopefully she has learned a lesson
I can stand up for myself but many would be embarrassed and feel unable to
So please take care if you approach someone

maddyone Sun 21-Jan-24 11:14:56

I prefer parents with children to use the parent/child spaces for the simple reason that if they do so, they’re not opening their car doors wide and struggling to get baby and baby seat or pushchair out, and in the process, hitting my car and scratching it. So I’m fully in support of parent/child parking spaces, even though they didn’t exist when mine were babies.

Pammie1 Sun 21-Jan-24 11:16:33

Primrose53

Auntieflo

parent+child spaces are just a courtesy offer, they are not generally enforceable. ie anyone can park in them

I have a blue badge, and one time could find no parking bay, but, there were a few Mother & Child spaces. So I used one, only to be told, by a shop (Tesco's) assistant, that if the parking attendant saw this, I would be fined?

I did manage to move the car, but do not know how true this was.

That’s a lie. I was in a Tesco once and a woman was complaining that she had seen someone clearly not disabled using a disabled space. The Tesco Manager told her they can do nothing about it. He wouldn’t even send somebody out to check. They certainly have no authority to fine you either.

Yep. Parent and Child spaces are a courtesy concession and there is no legal obligation to provide them. They are not enforceable by law so there is no legal mechanism under which people can be fined for parking in them. I have a blue badge and am a wheelchair user, so need a wide space - on occasion when I can’t find a disabled space I have no alternative but to use a parent and child space.

Blue badge spaces are a legally enforceable concession, so parking in one without displaying a valid badge is an offence and carries a fine, but if the woman you saw in Tesco was complaining that the person she had seen didn’t look disabled, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they weren’t displaying a valid badge, as not all disabilities are visible. The Tesco manager probably refused because it’s not his job -most supermarket car parks are run by independent providers and it’s they who are responsible for these issues, not the supermarket staff.

maddyone Sun 21-Jan-24 11:17:50

As for Blue Badges, they are very necessary for some people and not easy to get. My parents both had one although dad resisted until his last year or so. Mum had one for a few years, but she walked with a walker and her walking was poor. They both needed them.