Would you be a little hurt…

This sounds a bit familiar

MissAdventure

I remember my friends Christmas at her sons.
She said she was hurried in, a paper hat plonked on her head, and her dinner put in front of her.
The minute that was finished, a bit of pudding was thrust at her, before her coat was handed to her, and she was on her way home.

😯

Yes, I think she got a present, but it just wasn't the christmas she had envisaged, with her son.
That was the main thing she wanted, which she got.

So... she has learned to lower her expectations somewhat.

How awful. No presents?

🥳😖

I remember my friends Christmas at her sons.
She said she was hurried in, a paper hat plonked on her head, and her dinner put in front of her.
The minute that was finished, a bit of pudding was thrust at her, before her coat was handed to her, and she was on her way home.

That’s right MissAdventure 👏🏻👏🏻
I only have DD’s, but all my friends with sons say the same thing.Even if they try hard and have a good relationship with dils it’s always a bit disappointing.My best friend, a lovely person, isn’t ever allowed to be at grands birthday parties.
Not saying all dils are like that but many are.

All of my friends with daughter in laws have had to jostle around to fit back into the right place with their sons. (Which is second!)
Some have realised straight away, others have learned the hard way

Callistemon21.

Well yes you do have to tread on eggshells around DILs these days.
I have learned how to be a Mil now and I have great relationships with my other DILs.

If you can't take any responsibility it is no good giving you advice. I think it us a case you are not liking what you hearing as written by quite a few posters.

I’m afraid one’s past posts are there for all to see. No point denying what you said.

MoaningTurtle

@easybee

His you considered I might have a DIL problem?
I have wonderful relationships with my other dils and my son in law, it’s just this particular DIL who doesn’t care about us.
Not all dils are angels and not all Mils are demons you know!

I have wonderful relationships with my other dils

🤔 On another thread you said you had to tread on eggshells around all of them and felt like a doormat.

MoaningTurtle

@Norah.
That is so far from the truth, we see very little of them lol.

Apologies,
I thought I recalled you as the poster who was needlessly upset Dil wanted to keep her medical information private.

Ok but what do you want to change and how can that happen

@welbeck

I don’t dislike my DIL at all , I love her as much as my other dils which is why it hurts me so much.
She does not care about our family, she doesn’t even bother with her own much.
I was seriously ill in hospital for three weeks last year and was close to death.
She didn’t once send me a test to ask how I was, no visits, no mention of how I was doing. My son was very upset about it.
I have be over backwards to be a good MIL, we have wonderful relationships with our other DILs and sil.
I am not accepting responsibility here.

@Norah.
That is so far from the truth, we see very little of them lol.

@easybee

His you considered I might have a DIL problem?
I have wonderful relationships with my other dils and my son in law, it’s just this particular DIL who doesn’t care about us.
Not all dils are angels and not all Mils are demons you know!

Iam64 - my thoughts exactly.

I think I would never have wanted all holiday to involve grandparents of either side. Perhaps they intend to alternate and do a holiday just then too

This is one of several posts you have made over the past few years about your relationship with your daughters in law, and perhaps she has discovered them. You do seem to look for problems with them.
Let it go.

MoaningTurtle

@ NotSpaghetti
But why does it have to be her parents they go away with and not my husband and myself?
My son has made it clear he would rather go with us as we don’t see that much of them and a few days break is wonderful for spending time with my grandchildren.

Perhaps your dil would prefer "a few days break.. spending time" alone, as a family, with her children?

If I recall correctly, you posted some time ago your dil was upset that her husband shared her private medical information with you. Perhaps that is part to this holiday problem?

Your son, his wife and children are their own family and perhaps need less interaction with you and your husband.

MoaningTurtle

@ V3ra
That’s a lovely idea but there’s no way my son would be allowed to take the children away in his own.

I'll be honest, I find this rather sad. Doesn't she trust him or is it a fear of missing out or being in control?

On a separate note, could you see them for a few days over the holidays and take the grandchildren out for some day trips? Sometimes they're the most exciting things children remember! My kids who are now in their twenties only reminded me the other day about the time a giraffe at the safari park stuck it's head through the sunroof and licked them!

Hope you find some peace and compromise in this situation 🤗

Callistemon21

Shelflife

Knitandnatter, how dare you make such an unpleasant judgement!? Non of us ( and that includes you) know the background to this situation. I sincerely hope that MoaningTurtle disregards your nasty comments. I suggest you keep save any nasty views you have for your knit and natter meetings where people can respond accordingly!

Do you mind! My umbrage is well and truly taken!!

I go to a craft group and everyone is absolutely lovely, no bitching or spiteful comments at all.

I do agree, Shelflife

That comment from Knitandnatter is totally uncalled for and downright horrible.

Germanshepherdsmum

Oh no, Knitandnatter. That would cause a huge fall out. Wanting to spend a holiday with her parents doesn’t make the daughter in law a self-centred, entitled brat. What a horrible thing to say.

Another dil bashing thread. One thing most of us have in common is having been dil’s at some stage }

No I wouldn’t be offended, I wouldn’t have dreamt of going on holiday with my parents or the in laws and don’t expect my children to come with us.
Is this the same daughter in law you had an issue with last year OP?
I’d focus more on your own interests and a lovely holiday for you and your partner.