Forgotten birthday!

I'm with Kate1949. My Mum's been dead 19 years next week and my Dad 8 years in November. When I wake up on their birthdays I still wish them both a happy birthday and blow them a kiss to wherever they may be.

I do agree that it's more of a "man" thing, but that's no excuse - a reminder on your phone, a reminder from your partner or other family member, write it on a calendar.....so little to ask of the sender, but means so much to the recipient.

lippyqueen
I am so sorry to read your post & send belated Birthday 🎁 wishes.
Reading other responses I am amazed that others seem to think that it’s the way of the world 🌍 for a Mother to go down the list of who is important!
That is plain ludicrous thinking .in my mind.

And that is not helpful to the OP who is feeling distressed about the situation.
Again, it is also very often the Woman who will buy the cards or remind of Birthdays ,write it on a calendar etc.
My own Son , never forgets my BD and in that I am not shouting from the rooftops that he remembers & arrives with arms full of flowers etc etc . Far from it, this year in fact he visited the week before the date & as I know he often forgets a card , I cheekily told him to look through the accumulated cards I had left out & take one ,all said in jest, I had even mentioned to ddx2 that I was doing this as it is well known that DS doesn’t send me ( or anyone ) a card .
The aforementioned cards were ones ,either myself or DH had purchased over time for my MIL ,the accumulation due to DH forgetting asking me to buy or buying another & as I have no use for them they just sit there collecting dust until the next year ,when I again remind DH don’t buy another .
The collection was both BD & MD as my BD & MD are extremely close a day after each other in fact, this year but always close.
He looked through chose one & promptly forgot it ! I received a card for neither day despite ‘Cardgate’
It wasn’t until 3 days later at night out I’d arranged for us with him & GC that he presented me with both flowers & chocolates. Which was lovely, but hey he lives literally 5 mins away around the corner.
I accept this is how he is but it doesn’t stop wishing he was a tad more thoughtful.
And in your case Lippyqueen with your DS being so far away I feel your disappointment, hopefully your DD & family made it a lovely day .

Happy belated Birthday . I remind mine at least a week before . X

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Maybe suggest you both linkup with WhatsApp and then you can video call anytime (time differences noted) without it costing a penny.

My elder son when on holiday has WhatsApp videoed me from Australia, Japan, the Seychelles and many other places.

He usually gives me a walk through of his accommodation and the views. Now I also get to see my two young grandsons enjoying themselves.

Only a few minutes but such an uplift.

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Because of the time difference, try to find an hour maybe each week or fortnight that would suit you both, then Skype each other.
This is what my BiL does with family living at home as he, too, is in Australia.
He loves it out there.

Sorry, but I refuse to accept that there’s something in the Y chromosome that makes men inherently unable to manage remembering dates or buying cards and gifts.

I’d be talking to my son if he had forgotten my birthday. When you hurt someone, even accidentally, it deserves to be acknowledged and corrected, imo. Not talking about it might lead to him thinking that you weren’t bothered by his forgetting.

Belated happy birthday from me.

Happy belated birthday wishes Lippyqueen.
Hope you still had a lovely day.💐

Text him to tell him you had a nice birthday don’t dwell on it life’s too short. He has his gentle reminder hopefully not to be repeated! Treat yourself and enjoy a belated happy birthday from me 💐

My parents forgot my 20th birthday. It was only when my little brother produced a card and present that the awful truth hit them. Mum ‘beat herself up’ for ages over it but we laughed about it later and the cash inflation to make up for their tardiness came in handy as I was a student at the time. She was busy. A business to help with, 3 other children , a couple of grandkids, a large house ( 12 rooms) and a menagerie of pets to care for. I understand your hurt but it wasn’t on purpose. I’m glad you have a daughter near. Maybe, as others have said, she could have a word . Happy Birthday BTW. Treat yourself to something frivolous. X

I'll go against the grain, probably, I gave up with (my) birthdays some years ago, each one a further reminder of becoming officially worn out?!

If IsNibs gets me something, or we go out, that's fine, but I'm not that bothered. And if ever a card arrives saying "Another Year Older" . . . .yes, thx, I'm not that forgetful -- yet.

My main focus these days is remembering to renew my prescriptions on time!

A bit of out of sight out of mind perhaps. He may catch up if he has genuinely forgotten. If not, just leave it. There is always next year.

I'm sorry this is sexist but I know from experience that most men are hopeless at remembering birthdays etc. They just are. My father rarely got it right and once sent my Mum a wedding anniversary card when it was actually her birthday. When my grandma died, my grandfather told us all that none of us would ever get cards again as he wouldn't send any and he didn't.

Primrose53

I wonder what the OPs son would say if she missed his or the grandchildren’s birthday? I bet she doesn’t forget any of them.

It’s a real cop out saying young people have busy lives. We’ve all been there and done that but I can’t imagine any of us ever forgot to send a card or made a phonecall to close family on their birthday. These days it’s even easier with texts and emails.

Totally agree. We all had busy lives one way or another.

I remember years ago when I was a busy widowed single mum forgetting my mothers birthday and the awful thing was that both my brother and sister forgot as well. She was really upset but we all loved her and I still feel regret about causing her hurt. I expect your son just genuinely forgot..

I don’t know -my son, DIL and grandson live and work in America, but they always remember Mothers Day and my birthday.

As I always remember their birthdays etc.😗

I wonder what the OPs son would say if she missed his or the grandchildren’s birthday? I bet she doesn’t forget any of them.

It’s a real cop out saying young people have busy lives. We’ve all been there and done that but I can’t imagine any of us ever forgot to send a card or made a phonecall to close family on their birthday. These days it’s even easier with texts and emails.

I have a very generous son who never forgets my birthday, he always sends me a generous present he has ordered on line. But.... he never phones up for a chat, if I did not email him or pop in to see him when I am near where they live I wouldn't see him bar perhaps once a year around Christmas. Just enjoy your chats, it means everything to us mums.
Happy birthday yesterday (I don't know how to do flowers on here, sorry)

Both my husband and I forget our wedding anniversary every year.
The children usually remember, but I don’t think in nearly fifty years, either of us has ever remembered.

I’m sorry. That is hurtful. And yes, it has happened to me but then, I forgot my fils birthday one year. And he was devastated. Now I don’t give it a chance. I phone them! Or Wattsapp them. It’s a joke but I’d rather that than be forgotten again. When I turned 27 not a single person remembered my birthday. Including my mother, whom I’d met for lunch.

In my experience sons are not great about dates like this (except my autistic one, who lives at home and is so sweet, with his Pound Shop gifts!) It's sad, and not what we hope for as we raise a family, but I believe it is ESSENTIAL to have a full and fulfilling life separate from our children, and simply rejoice that they are happy. Anything else is just to leave ourselves open to heartache.

I think it is a generational thing. Us "older" people set more store on getting a card or present or just a text on a particular day. My son and my grandsons (all over 18) would never think about it unless they were actually seeing the birthday person on the day! I spend my life sending messages that say "it is so and so's birthday tomorrow" and hoping they will send a message at least! The silly thing is that they always have their phones in their hand and they keep diaries on their phones, how can they not know?

Happy belated Birthday lippyqueen.
It is difficult to remember with different time zones. You wake up on your birthday morning but it is the evening on the wrong date in Australia, I hope you will soon receive their wishes.

My mum forgot my birthday, once.
She was really upset about it, but I didn't mind at all.

Both my children forgot to send anything for mothering sunday but they both phoned to apologise! Neither has forgotten my birthday so far. I'm thankful that they do seem to take some care of me despite having busy lives and living at a distance. The people I feel sorry for are those who don't have children, as getting older must be hard if you have no-one. I see mine reasonably frequently bearing in mind the distance.