AIBU to consider writing them out of my will.

This is like a Victorian melodrama.
Give/lend some money to the buyers if it annoys you so much.

you could leave some to the greedy relative, less than you originally intended, and the rest to the gazumped FTB.

Owes, not owns

Depending on the difference of price (market vs family) - it could be a factor

A pp mentioned it - what a person seems to own is not a measure of wealth

How hard did these wealthy relatives have to work for their money?

Nobody owns anybody a first time buyer "easier" experience

Bottom line - not your circus, not your monkeys

You can do with your money what you want, with your actions - there are also consequences

How absolutely horrible. The greed. I suggest leaving it to somebody who will use it well for Humanitarian purposes.

Why leave any money to someone who is incredibly wealthy unless perhaps they are your own children? If I had no children I would not consider leaving anything to distant relatives but would give to local charities. I have a very wealthy friend who is childless and has few friends. She is leaving money to someone who is barely a friend because she lacks the imagination to do anything else. I support various charities in a modest way and would love to give much more.

pascal30

some people are just greedy. He could have been generous and loving but chose money instead.. very sad and salutory for you to witness

I agree.
It would make me think twice about what the family member would inherit from me.

It’s not simply a case of the seller not wanting to sell their property for less than the market value. He’d agreed a sale to the FTB, and at a price which allowed for the saving in estate agency fees, based on a recent valuation. Morally, the sale should have gone ahead as agreed.

I agree with HowNowBrownCow that this was a dishonourable decision, and I would tell the vendor, a relative, how I felt about it. I would then base decisions about my will on his response, not necessarily taking things as far as disinheriting him.

The young purchaser has been badly let down.

Those properties might, of course, be mortgaged to the hilt to maintain the lifestyle you describe. It’s possible they could not afford to sell for less than market value- only they know their true financial situation. Appearances can be deceptive. If this relative really doesn’t need your money why not leave it to charity?

Leave something personal as a gift of you decide not to make a financial bequest.

I think you can leave your money to whomsoever you like. Your relative doesn't need your money so why not leave it to someone who does?

The seller is wealthy, high income, £1.3m house, privately educated children plus many investment properties, several holidays a year type wealthy.

two wrongs don't make a right

They may not inherit anyway, they could die before you or you could have very expensive long term care fees.

Is the seller wealthy? If not why would he sell for a lot less just because he may inherit from you.

You are not being unreasonable in that you can leave your money to whom you want to but it is unreasonable to leave it only if people do as you want and not simply because of who they are.

They agreed the price, then avarice reared it's very ugly head . I would be extremely angry and upset, let the relative know how you feel and see what they have to say. Make your decision on that.

I can see your reasoning. If you decide to cut them out, tell them why.

Could you have given the buyer a “.leg up “
Better giving it now than when you are dead

some people are just greedy. He could have been generous and loving but chose money instead.. very sad and salutory for you to witness

I think that’s rather an extreme reaction to someone not wanting to sell their house for less than the market value. Obviously the advice to test the market was good advice.