No manners. No more gifts.

She thanked you, lucky you I didn't get a thank from someone to whom I gave £100.00 toward the new baby nursery.

Oh, she did you a favour. That is the important thing, really.

...what are you going to do about it...not allow her to look after your cat, the next time you need her help, because she didn't say thank you?

I would have liked a thank you in return for the gift.

I would have thanked you. Definitely

Maybe she's a gransnetter and saw your query here

After 4 hours you were complaining? You appear to be self centred...maybe your neighbour was busy with her life admin!

I’m like you I expect a reply lol but unfortunately not everyone does. My builder had pulled up some flagstones i put them up free to pick up had few replies and a young couple turned up and just started to load them up i opened my door and said i guess you were the person i was chatting to online his reply yep and that was it they carried on and took off not one word of thanks. Myself i would have knocked on door said here to pick up and after done would have knocked and said thanks but guess not everyone like me

I wouldn’t be bothered either way as to whether she said thank you for the thank you gift, but I do wonder why you didn’t give the gift and clothes donations to her in person rather than just depositing them on her doorstep, I just wonder if whilst happy to help/be neighbourly maybe she feels that you prefer to keep your interactions with her at a distance so to speak ?

re the unwanted flagstones; they were also doing you a favour to take them away, so perhaps you should have thanked them.
or maybe you were just quits.
things can get byzantine in expectations of elaborate thanking rituals.
a bit like a japanese neighbour; leave taking was so elongated by endless bowing, even after getting in car and driving away.
there is no virtue in taking offence where none is intended.
it's good to relax, view life with a wry smile.

You will just cause yourself pain. Let it go.

Every day I see threads on mumsnet where someone is deeply upset because they havnt received a text or whatsapp within XX hours. Jeeze. I work on a 24-48 hour basis to respond to emails until its an absolute emergency. People have other stuff to do and there is this thing called "forgetting".There is also something called "patience".

Social media FOMO has made everyone so insecure.

People just expect everything instantly these days.

I wouldnt think of a bag of clothes intended for others a gift.

Sorry have realised you gave a gift as well . My apoolgies

you have just had a thankyou , she is probably on gransnet.
But I do agree manners have gone out of the window.
However we have a family member that expects a thankyou card for a thankyou card??

I’ve just cat sat for a neighbour in an emergency, the litter tray was filthy and the cat unwell, there wasn’t an empty sink or shower I could use to clean it. Until I had emptied the sinki had to climb over her decorating mess to get the the room the rescue cat was captive in. She knew I was on chemo and therefore compromised and vulnerable. But I couldn’t get a word in edgewise during her 7 minute request.
Two other neighbours were looking after her other two cats. I pulled the short straw but I won’t do it again even for a bottle of Prosecco after 5 days.
How can people live like this.

And expect their pets to do so. Appalling.

I think everything has been covered.

Sodapop, I hope at least you got to keep the eggs! I’d have been happy with that. I offered to feed a neighbour’s two cats whilst she was visiting her daughter in New Zealand. She gave me a beautiful silk kaftan that didn’t fit. I wasn’t expecting anything as I offered.

JackK - Is it me, or have good manners disappeared?

I don’t think good manners have disappeared. Your neighbour has fed your cat for a weekend, and you have given her a gift. It was far more onerous and time consuming for her to feed your cat, rather than for you to (presumably) buy and give her a gift, frankly!

I would keep giving her gifts, while she feeds your cat, whether or not she gives you thanks or no thanks from her after she received your gift. Surely part of your thank you, was a happy healthy cat on your return?

🌷🌷🌷

Thanks Bazza we don't actually need the eggs as we have our own chickens and there are only two of us. Mr S is ok with it as he knows the chicks are safe etc. Just niggles me a little.
Shame about your kaftan though.

Primrose53

I think you are. You asked for her help, she obliged. You have left her a gift and thanked her. End of really.

Yes, I agree. Otherwise you’ll be thanking her for thanking you and so on….

You need to nurture your neighbour who kindly agreed to look after your cat JackK.
I felt I couldn’t go on asking a friend when I went away (even though she lived in the next street). She always said she didn’t mind but it started to feel like an imposition.
In the end I came to an agreement to pay my brother (who lived a mile away) £7 a day to come and see to her - it was a lot cheaper than the local advertised cat sitting person.

I think your "manners" requirements are out of date. You thanked them for doing something for you. That doesn't require a further thankyou. Good grief! I think I'd be falling foul of all sorts of manners rules that I am completely unaware of. She did you a favour and you got her a little something. Even stevens