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AIBU

No manners. No more gifts.

(96 Posts)
sparkly1000 Wed 10-Apr-24 16:25:49

Crossed posts JackK and pleased to hear the outcome you so desired, Good neighbours are like gold dust, please don’t judge yours for not replying within 4 hours.

AreWeThereYet Wed 10-Apr-24 16:18:32

It would be nice if she just confirmed she had got the gift and clothes. But I agree with others, she may say thank you when she sees you and it has only been four hours. I was also brought up to always say 'thank you', even if it was a gift to show appreciation of a job done for someone else.

sparkly1000 Wed 10-Apr-24 16:16:28

Presumably this is a close neighbour who was kind enough to care for your cat. A little gift is appropriate for their time and thoughtfulness . Only 4 hours later you seem peeved that you haven’t had an appreciative response.
Yes you are being very unreasonable.

JackK Wed 10-Apr-24 16:15:07

I've just had a thank you 😊

JackK Wed 10-Apr-24 16:10:41

I'm not hurt, and I'm not upset! I just wondered what others thought!
And yes, I was also brought up to say thank you for ANY gift; I wouldn't dream of accepting a gift without saying thank you. But ... it would seem that not everyone thinks the same 😞

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 10-Apr-24 16:03:07

I was brought up to believe that you don’t expect thanks for a gift, but that it is good manners to say thank you. The pleasure is in the giving.

DamaskRose Wed 10-Apr-24 15:54:12

Jillykins3

But she must be a kind person to take time out of her weekend to feed your cat. I would just be grateful that l had someone to do this. . After 4 hours you are hurt and thinking all sorts and already decided you will not be leaving anymore gifts.. Imagine if she knew that's how you felt. She will probably thank you next time she sees you and you will wonder why you got upset .

This.

Jillykins3 Wed 10-Apr-24 15:50:58

But she must be a kind person to take time out of her weekend to feed your cat. I would just be grateful that l had someone to do this. . After 4 hours you are hurt and thinking all sorts and already decided you will not be leaving anymore gifts.. Imagine if she knew that's how you felt. She will probably thank you next time she sees you and you will wonder why you got upset .

MissInterpreted Wed 10-Apr-24 15:20:40

I was always brought up to believe that a gift wasn't yours until you had said thank you for it. It's just a matter of common courtesy and good manners, surely - it's not about 'expecting' a gift or thanks.

sassysaysso Wed 10-Apr-24 15:08:26

This isn't a question of manners disappearing, someone I knew had the same complaint 40 years ago. Of course she continued to give the kind neighbour a thank you present when she fed her cat afterwards, she recognised it was an arrangement in her favour.

keepingquiet Wed 10-Apr-24 14:53:34

Is this how neighbours fall out?

I don't expect thankyous for gifts- it's given freely after all, otherwise I wouldn't give it.

crazyH Wed 10-Apr-24 14:52:07

Plenty of time yet .
Two wrongs don’t make a right - just carry on being you. Don’t change.

Elrel Wed 10-Apr-24 14:48:03

Wait until you see her and have a chat. She may thank you then. It’s only 4 hours so far after all.

JackK Wed 10-Apr-24 14:37:03

Shinamae and Shoppinggirl - thank you! I'm thankful that others feel the same way as me!

shoppinggirl Wed 10-Apr-24 14:27:07

It would have been nice to have a text thanking you for the gift/clothes. Next time you ask her to feed your cat don't bother with a gift, just a thank you should suffice!

Shinamae Wed 10-Apr-24 14:22:37

,I would certainly have sent you a thank you text..

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 10-Apr-24 14:16:56

I agree with Primrose. You seem to imply, OP, that another time you would ask her to feed your cat and not give her a little thank you gift - now that would be bad manners.

Aveline Wed 10-Apr-24 14:15:55

No need for thanks for thanks.

JackK Wed 10-Apr-24 14:11:47

Ahhh, OK!

Primrose53 Wed 10-Apr-24 14:05:29

I think you are. You asked for her help, she obliged. You have left her a gift and thanked her. End of really.

JackK Wed 10-Apr-24 14:03:32

Is it me, or have good manners disappeared?
A neighbour fed my cat while I was away this weekend, and I (as always) thanked her on WhatsApp, then left her a thank you gift on her doorstep this morning as she was out.
I WhatsApped her to tell her I'd left it (and thanked her again), her reply was "I was out shopping. Lol".
That was 4 hours ago. She's home, but no acknowledgement of the gift (or of the bag of nearly new clothes I left her for her drop in centre).
Am I being unreasonable by thinking I won't bother with a thank you gift again? I can't decide whether I'm being unreasonable or not!