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AIBU

Am I being too fussy

(141 Posts)
GrannyIvy Thu 25-Apr-24 18:05:19

When family, friends or tradesmen come to my home I like them to remove their outdoor shoes and if they do not do this automatically on entering I request they do so. I like to keep my floors and carpets clean. Family and friends are used to me and most are happy to take their outdoor footwear off in the hallway. However one friend I have to request he does this each time he arrives, he comes in once a week, and I find this frustrating and uncomfortable to keep asking. Tradesman on the whole will bring shoe protectors or happy to remove boots or shoes. Am I being a Hyasinth Bouquet? I feel it is my home and I want to keep it nice! I always remove outdoor footwear when I go into someone else’s house even if they say no need to as to me this feels the right thing to do.

Tiley Wed 29-May-24 09:19:23

I would never ask someone to take of their shoes 👞 on entering our home. But then I hate fitted carpets though did relent to having the bedrooms fitted
Throughout the rest we have flag stones and wooden floors with rugs on which can easily be cleaned several times a year. Great for us coming in from the garden and muddy dogs.

Spuddy Tue 28-May-24 10:56:29

Before I enter someone's house I always ask them if they want me to take my shoes off and I'm very happy to do so if they want me too.

I fully agree with you, you have a lovely house so you want to keep it clean and tidy!

HowVeryDareYou2 Tue 28-May-24 10:32:47

When I worked as a Home Care Worker, one lady asked us to remove our shoes as she'd had new carpets. We were unable to do that (unsafe, particularly as we were using a hoist), but wore shoe protectors

AuntyTrouble Tue 28-May-24 10:15:16

It's your house. You don't want outdoor shoes worn indoors. People take shoes off. Simple. Your friend who forgets? don't let them through the door before their shoes are off (put a mat outside for them to stand on) It's not a hard thing to remember even if you don't do it at home.Disrespectful.

WelwynWitch3 Thu 09-May-24 10:48:17

My children and families when visiting take their shoes off because that is what they do at home. I do not ask anyone to remove their shoes, we have a door mat inside and out to wipe feet on. My husband would not remove his shoes either he has suffered with OCD for many years and no way would he walk on anyones floor without his shoes, for some people there could be medical reasons for not removing shoes.

Macadia Thu 02-May-24 04:33:56

Bump

Carenza123 Thu 02-May-24 02:12:14

I’m afraid it would deter me from visiting anyone f I had to take my shoes off when entering a house.

LesLee7 Sun 28-Apr-24 16:36:54

I agree with GrannyIvy. I was brought up (50's/60's) to take my shoes off when I went in the house. Carpets are expensive to replace and are never quite the same if cleaned.
I always take mine off when I go to my friends houses too and I do ask workmen or visitors if they will take off their shoes - I bought some shoe covers for workmen and offer them if they prefer. It's only the living room and stairs, I have laminate in the kitchen, conservatory and dining room so don't mind as much there. If I know a workman is coming at the carpet end I often put old sheets down to protect the floor.
I don't think it's rude to ask so don't feel guilty it's your house.
Was a bit cross the other day (although didn't say anything) the husband of my friend called to do a small job for me. I always take my shoes off when I go to her house (hers is always immaculate - unlike mine - and they take their shoes off )so expected he would do the same but he just marched straight in.

wetflannel Sun 28-Apr-24 14:57:02

It's a no shoes zone in my home. I even have a jokey sign on my door to remind people.

SporeRB Sun 28-Apr-24 14:08:32

I came from an Asian country, we do not wear shoes in our house only slippers. Shoes are all left in the porch. Same with my daughter’s house.

When we have visitors, I do not insist that they took their shoes off because it is not the British culture to take shoes off before entering a house.

It is not the mud I am concern about. It’s the dogs poo on the pavement. You can accidently step into them and drag it into the house with your shoes.

Mollygo Sun 28-Apr-24 14:06:54

Huia that doesn’t always apply. We didn’t offer/we’re not asked to remove shoes and other visitors invited round to meet us, just came in without removing theirs.

MissAdventure Sun 28-Apr-24 13:30:23

I'd have to take my own slippers, I think, because I can't stand being barefoot. (I don't wear socks or tights)

It seems like a big palava to me, though I can understand why people want to protect their home from mud, or worse.

HeidiJoy2u Sun 28-Apr-24 12:21:05

I severely and permanently injured my right foot 2 years ago because I was walking barefoot through my kitchen and caught it on a footstool. Now, I'm afraid to walk without birkenstock sandals or clogs on. None of my sneakers, boots or sporting shoes fit that foot anymore. I can feel off balance without support on my feet now. Some folks have one foot shorter than the other and wear orthotics. Some have diabetes and should protect their feet at all costs. In my case it has nothing to do with dirt but what is good for my feet and balance. Cold feet s**k too. But.... it is your house.

Huia Sun 28-Apr-24 07:09:08

Here in NZ people always ask if you would like shoes off. Children come in and automatically remove shoes. I was surprised when we first came to live here, it always seemed a bit odd as when you dress your shoes are part of your outfit. We don’t expect shoes to be taken off as we have hard floors.
However after buying a Dyson laser vacuum cleaner that shows all the dust and dirt on your floor I now realise how much dirt comes in with shoes!

Bromley Sun 28-Apr-24 06:34:37

We were bought up to feel that slippers outside of the bedroom were frowned on.
Indoor shoes were the answer,but visitors would never be asked to remove their shoes. That would be seen as very rude.

Whiff Sun 28-Apr-24 06:03:38

I was brought up no shoes in the house even when my grandparents had lino before they could have edge to edge carpets but had rugs. So used to taking shoes off and slippers on. I got slated when this topic was on a thread like this. As I said my brother's dog was welcome but my brother always wipes her paws . But they are a no shoe family as well and her paws get wiped at their home. Tradesmen always where over shoe covers. When I visit family or friends always take my slippers and leave my shoes inside the door.

When I sold my old house made it a rule anyone viewing my house left their shoes in the porch . They knew this before they viewed. But a lot said they didn't wear shoes in the house.

We all have rules for our homes. And drinks are always put on coaters . But I don't know anyone that doesn't have not shoes inside and use coaters.

DrWatson Sun 28-Apr-24 02:26:05

I see that the "remove shoes" concept is a 'thing' in some countries, and someone said "here in the SE" which I presume means USA, as when I visit folk (inc relatives) in the South-east of England, it's not a 'thing' there, and wasn't when I was growing up.

Having worked in many offices, it's certainly not been a fad in them, and frankly it seems bonkers in ordinary homes too, why else do people have mats on the outer step, and inside the front door?

Like Hyancinth Bouquet did someone say? Well, she was funny, but regarded as bonkers by neighbours, relatives and visitors.

Colvillefly Sun 28-Apr-24 01:32:25

I wouldn’t want people walking with shoes on my new carpets. On the other hand when once asked by someone to remove my shoes when I entered their home I had a job as my arthritis was particularly bad that week and I was struggling and cursing under my breath!

Gundy Sat 27-Apr-24 23:13:05

I think all guests, family, visitors asked to remove their shoes upon arrival will be put off by the request and will feel uncomfortable - especially if they don’t know beforehand.

Personally, I think it’s kind of quirky to ask visitors to do this. I have never in my whole life encountered a request like that. If you are immune-compromised, had a recent transplant, or are undergoing cancer or other medical treatment then it’s a totally legitimate request.

Maybe when extending your invitations you’d better let people know that this will be expected right off the bat - and, give them the option of removing shoes, or change into their own slippers, or say you will provide shoe covers.

But not saying anything beforehand may be a turn-off. Better stock up on shoe protectors!

Anneeba Sat 27-Apr-24 22:19:02

Sometimes it's a cultural imperative. My Turkish in laws would be hugely offended by a guest coming in with shoes on. For some reason, in our house, DH and mine, people we visit (not the in laws) expect us to remove our shoes in their houses, but never ever remove theirs in ours 🤣🤔. Maybe because we have dogs, or are usually chilled, I really don't know. It has sometimes annoyed me to have their muddy DMs worn in our house...

NotSpaghetti Sat 27-Apr-24 21:37:50

We always changed our shoes - even at school. I had indoor shoes and outdoor shoes. Indoor ones were slip-ons and part of our school uniform!

At home as a child I had indoor shoes and slippers.
I have indoor shoes and slippers still.
My children and their families bring slippers with them if they know they will be here any length of time.

That said, I would never ask workmen/women to take off their boots. This is part of their PPE. I would cover any carpets (if they needed to be on them) with the slightly sticky cling filmy stuff you can get for decorating - or, if it's my lovely 😍 sitting room carpet I'd use my correx board! 🤣

NotSpaghetti Sat 27-Apr-24 21:20:43

eazybee they are different because they are public I'd say.

Esmay Sat 27-Apr-24 20:00:22

It's your house and your house rules .

We weren't allowed to wear outdoor shoes indoors .
We would just slip them off and wear slippers .
Perhaps , slipper socks could be provided for guests .

Guests wore their outdoor shoes in my mother's house and the day afterwards the carpets would be shampooed and disinfected .

Tennisnan Sat 27-Apr-24 19:56:45

I think its something we should all do more. Where my sons family live in Singapore its expected to remove shoes as a matter of cleanliness. If you think of what we probably tread in with our shoes on a daily basis do we want that on the floors of our homes?

NanaTuesday Sat 27-Apr-24 19:38:52

eazybee

Do you remove your shoes when you walk on a cinema or theatre carpet?
When you enter a carpeted corridor in offices or public buildings?
When you enter an hotel or hospital?
When you enter a shop?
Why are public spaces different?

I think you have gone down the wrong route with this , total stupidly to even say these things !