AIBU about meeting halfway?

grandtanteJE65 and others, the OP has explained that her husband is not well and he is the only driver (she doesn't drive).

She is concerned that a 3 hour drive (1½ hours to the meeting place and the same back home) might be too long for him.

KatyaStrings - I think you could suggest a place where he doesn't have to drive quite so far and that you have a break there (as others have suggested).

And then maybe they can collect the little one from you for the return journey.

I've done something similar. Met at a place where an indoor play area was nearby to allow GD (15 months at that time) to run about and for us all to have a bite to eat before starting the journey home. Worked fine both ways.

Poor thing. Spending hours in a car.

We do this all the time.

But the little boy is going on holiday Norah, just not with his parents. He's going to his DGP.

You could make an outing of it BUT she is your stepdaughter, jot your daughter, so there's that. Have you got any other pressing engagements for that day? Or is it just that you feel imposed upon? Would you have grumbled had your daughter asked?

Yes, she is cheeky asking for a halfway meet to pick GS up. IMO parents who go on holiday without their children are unreasonable, full stop.

KatyaStrings - my concern with meeting half way, is what if one of you is late? I always prefer to do a whole trip because of some adverse travel problems when picking up my step son in the past.

I personally would go and pick up my grandson and make a lovely and relaxed day of it.

You are unhappy about quite a few things to do with your grandson. Hopefully they can be resolved.

Do hope that it all works out.

🌷🌷🌷

Cheeky? A bit. I'm guessing it's because she'll be busy trying to get ready to go away. Suggest she brings him the day before that so she's got the whole day to get sorted before the holiday maybe? Or just do it as a favour and enjoy the car ride ... Not unreasonable, maybe a bit mean though...unless you loathe driving and can't afford the fuel of course.

Sounds like it may be a problem for you to look after GS in the first place. Parents work these days and have to find adequate child care. Of course, the best can be GP who usually want to do it. Tell her you cannot do it and let him go to other GP as he will likely not be subjected to their views as they are used to seeing him regularly.

Wow, I never had the luxury of weekends or vacations away from my children! Who does that? Travelling to Spain for just a weekend seems like a lot of stress to begin with, never mind the drop off. Doesn't sound very relaxing. Couldn't they just get a sitter for a night out every now and then? It certainly would be easier on everybody IMHO. Do they ever just come and visit you for the weekend so you can visit with them and the grandson? Or take you to Spain with the family so they can have a sitter while they're there? Family time and rekindling a flame are both important objectives.... but this request seems selfish and unreasonable for parents of young children. It reminds me of the rich kid's summer camp I worked at where the kids felt "dumped" for the summer while their parents went to Europe for the summer. They were so homesick!

To me, you are being unreasonable and unkind, unless there are factors you have not mentioned, such as not being able to afford the petrol needed, or poor health on your part.

It also bothers me you call her your stepdaughter rather than your daughter. After all, you are married, I presume to her father and consider the child your grandchild, so why is it necessary to tell us all that she is your stepdaughter?
Reminds me uncomfortably of my mother, who had a habit once we were grown up of introducing me to her friends as "my daughter" and my sister as "my adopted daughter". Strictly true, but not kind.

The grandfather is doing the driving so it is up to him.

If the parents are having a long weekend, presumably including Friday and Monday and the four year old is at school (after school club) is he missing days from school as well?
Is he having a three hour journey on Thursday evening and another one on Sunday evening ready for school on Monday?
Or is this trip planned for half term, in which case why isn't he included in the holiday?

Why don’t folks read follow on posts the little chap is 4 bevispl

I think for the sake of the little one, yes do meet half way it ll give you an extra half day to spoil the little chap

I have flown to Ireland for the weekend when mine were small that was a long stretch for a couple of days

However if you are really worried about how the little chaps being parented get your husband to talk to his daughter about it

Would it have been easier for you to stay at their house!

They are probably eager to get away for the holidays, to meet halfway for one time isn’t being unreasonable, I would gladly do it but not every time. 3 hours is a heck of a journey just for a weekend.
I’d be more concerned that I’d make sure I’d got everything for GS, you don’t state how old he is but if very young, making sure I had travel cot and feeding bits, my GS is 6 months old so there would be a lot of stuff I’d need.

In the same situation I'd have picked grandchild up from home to save my stepdaughter adding the drive time in to a busy time for her

Why not treat it as part of your weekend s fun with gs? Use the meeting point to carry on somewhere else that u may not otherwise have thought about. Have fun with the the time u have with gs. 😊 😊

I still feel the OP is being put upon. She gives an inch and they take a mile.
The ones going away are being unreasonable by suggesting a halfway meeting for an already anxious little boy.

But it's not me, I realise and you Katya will know what to do. You will be used to navigating tricky situations by now.

We have always done this....it can be inconvenient, but it's part of helping in my opinion!

It would be me as the grandmother offering to meet half way. So they wouldn’t have 6 hr journey day before they go away for a break.

Yes YABU.
Would be a very interesting survey to find out how many of the hard done by comments I read on this site come from Step relatives.

I would happily meet them half way, and if they were really pushed, I would actually go and pick my grandchild up to save the parents hassle. Cos I love them!

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Could you not stay in their place for the long weekend? That way the little boy would have all his familiar things around him and you would have a change of space and routine.

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