Daughter abroad doesn’t want us to move too far from airport

My DD wants me to keep their bedroom here for when she visits, yours wants to keep your house so it’s easier for her to visit, yours takes the 🍪.

She is being totally unreasonable

Give her some space to have a think, maybe she will realise this is an overreaction

Live where you want to live!

Absolutely move near to your friends, you shouldn't be friendless because of your daughter!!!

Well, Mel, it seems it’s a unanimous verdict, go live your life and enjoy a new and exciting adventure in beautiful Norfolk.
Your daughter will come round eventually and if she doesn’t, you’ll be having so much fun you’ll hardly notice.

How awful to live near an airport, horrible. At first I thought you must be joking, no one could be that selfish. Talk it over with your daughter but be firm and tell her, don’t ask her,where you want to live.

If course you must move to Norfolk, lovely part of the country. I understand your daughters feelings but have to agree with everyone , she is being selfish. Presumably when she moved to the US you supported her and did'nt make her feel guilty for leaving you and her homeland? Perhaps she needs reminding of that fact. She has made her choice and can't expect you to remain in easy reach of the airport just to make her life easier 2 or 3 times a year.
I recognize how difficult this is for you and know you don't want to damage your relationship with her , but she must understand that as she is living her life to suit her then you and your DH / partner are perfectly entitled to do the same ! Stand your ground and I wish you well.

Life is short! Find your forever house where it suits you.. she wants you near an airport for her convenience only-she sounds selfish to me

I don’t drive , so my visiting adult children hire a car for their visits to me , suggest that to her !

I am flabbergasted at the sheer cheek and entitlement of the daughter. How dare she, she is selfish beyond measure

Do your own thing Mel. your dd does not seem to care twopence for your situation. She made her choice and now it is time to spread your own wings. Make sure to get somewhere with a room that could house a spare bed, so she cannot blame you for not having the space for her

Fly to Stansted, train to Cambridge, from there train to either Norwich or Kings Lynn.

I have come to the conclusion that many grown up children are selfish. They have their own children but expect their parents to look after them. Our daughters have never done a thing for us even after their dad died I was told I now had enough money so could afford to pay for jobs doing as they were busy people.

I looked after my mother for 30 years after dad died, we did everything for her and there was no house to sell when she died as she lived in a council house. I have money and a massive detached house which our daughters will inherit.

I would tell your daughter to suck it up, she chose to live abroad not you so now it is your turn to choose where you live without her interference and if she doesn't like it, hard luck.

The coach is so easy!
Direct routes from the Central Bus Station at Heathrow.

A return from Stansted to Sheringham (whither I would move if going to Norfolk) is £49.40, 1 change.

To Norwich £43.80, direct.

Much more comfortable than the bus. Much easier for you to collect her from than going all the way to Stansted for her.

You move where you want to!!

I can think of nothing worse than living close to an airport to be honest.
As others have suggested, why can't she get a connecting domestic flight to Norwich airport?
Don't pander to her whims, make the move to your retirement home.

I remember when we lived in London a friend took me to see her Aunt who lived nearby.
This older lady was living in an enormous old house with a huge garden and she said that her children (in their forties by then) loved the house and wouldn't let her sell it! They didn't live there, just liked to visit.

I thought they probably had their eye on the value of it and their inheritance but perhaps that was cynical.

Thank you all for such speedy, sensible and kind responses(and the x!). We have checked for activities, hospitals etc and although not a bungalow we can make a downstairs bedroom if needed. Or perhaps one more move if we are desperate. I know in my heart you are all exactly right. She’s a funny fish and I need to ignore the tantrum. Thank you all- have a great day! Xx

You must know she is being unreasonable, in your encouragement of her to live her life you may have forgotten to say not to the detriment of others.

She has a cheek to try to influence your life to suit herself. Suggest to her that she moves back to England and when she tells you all the reasons that she does not want to do that , tell her the same applies to you! Absolutely go for it and choose your own retirement place. You are more likely to have a good retirement near friends , who will be there for the day to day life, rather than suiting her . It will probably be cheaper for you to live in Norfolk , so that you may have more money to do things that you like too.
I would suggest a couple of things you might consider before actually moving. Could you stay in a hotel or b and b for about a week in the autumn or winter? Places can look lovely in the summer, but how is getting about etc in poorer weather? What is transport like if you could not drive, are you near libraries , shops, doctors etc . You probably have quite a choice of transport where you live now. We dont look at these sorts of things when we are on holiday. Ask your friends what the good and bad points of living there are Sit down and write yourselves a list of things you like to do and things that you dislike and consider how these will work in the new place. If you have friends who have moved over the last year or two ask them what things they had not expected and what was their best and worst things about the move. If you live in a house, would it be something to think about moving to a bungalow, which would mean that you could live there much longer if mobility became a problem? In other words find out what suits you , and you could check if there was a train, or onward flight to Norfolk, but that would be as far as I would go to suit your daughter. Good luck and I hope you find something that suits you.

Good heavens, she moved to the USA, but you are expected to plan your twilight years around her twice-a-year journey from Stansted?
speechless

rafichagran

Sorry did not mean to put the X also why is she using a bus, a train would be quicker?

The National Express coach is so easy to use.

It was she who moved away
Now it is your turn to retire to somewhere lovely, wherever you choose.

National Express? Straight from Heathrow Bus Station to a town near your new location. You can pick her up from there, it's easy, we have done it many times.

There's a frequent train service from Stansted to Cambridge and then various trains to different parts of Norfolk.

Move where you want to live. It's your life.

Go for it! Norfolk is lovely, and she could maybe fly to Norwich via Schiphol?

Your DD is looking at things through her own glasses only.