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AIBU

Nasty neighbour.

(128 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Sat 08-Jun-24 20:23:11

He's very unfriendly. I said hallo today when I saw him in the garden and it was all he could do to answer before walking off.
When I came out again I see he has blocked the gap in my fence where all the local cats including mine go through on their route. My cat examined it and then jumped over the top which is quite high.Im tempted to unblock it but don't want a row.

fluttERBY123 Mon 10-Jun-24 13:11:15

Our fences are now high enough to allow.me and neighbours to enjoy our respective gardens in peace even if we are out at the same time.
Be glad it's not a question of foxes. You block their underfence tunnel and they just dig another one. They can bring the whole fence down.

Stansgran Mon 10-Jun-24 13:11:50

We had a cat but it used a litter tray. Don’t cat owners have litter trays these days? I think it’s perfectly reasonable to object to cats coming into your garden. We have two visiting cats that like to sprawl in the sun in our garden,one’s a marmalade and one’s definitely a witches cat,black fluffy and mysterious. I’ve never seen them use our garden for toileting. We do have badger and fox leavings occasionally and the fox does stink.
My nightmare though is squirrels drowning in the water butt. That is so horrid.

hallgreenmiss Mon 10-Jun-24 13:22:18

kircubbin2000

I hadn't realised gransnet was an anti cat zone. Sorry I posted.

Not wanting cats depositing their unpleasant excrement in our gardens does not make us anti cat

AuntyTrouble Mon 10-Jun-24 13:26:27

Does the hole go from your garden into his? Is it actually his fence? If it is his fence you can’t do anything about it, if it’s your fence then obviously you have every right to unblock it and he should have asked your permission. That said, if it goes into his garden, which I assume it does, he very probably doesn’t want all the neighbourhood cats going in and through his property. You have to live next door to him so you decide if your cat going where he’s not wanted is worth falling out with him

Buttonjugs Mon 10-Jun-24 13:30:36

I don’t like cats in my garden, they poop on the grass. He has every right to stop cats from coming into his garden. I also don’t chat with my neighbours. I say hello, they know I will throw their balls back and I am not a nasty person at all. Just autistic and socially awkward. You sound nastier than him to be honest.

madcatwoman Mon 10-Jun-24 13:33:52

Too right!

madcatwoman Mon 10-Jun-24 13:41:20

My 'Too right!' comment was in response to someone saying they hadn't realised this was an anti-cat site. Yup, I do realise cats can poo in awkward places in gardens but, honestly, they don't mean any harm. Live and let live, that's what I say. After all, cats don't bark, they don't produce copious amounts of poo on the pavements and they don't bite or scare anyone (generally speaking). I only have one cat now, she is a house cat and doesn't bother anyone. If I lived in a safer place - less traffic, fewer nutters - I would let her out, too. As it is, even though she goes out into the back yard which is caged over, she comes into the house to use her tray. Cats are, without exception, remarkably clean creatures. P.S. I expect a barrage of negative comments!

N4nna Mon 10-Jun-24 13:48:20

If you read the comments it’s not a matter of being anti-cat…. Maybe you ought to read the comments again.

Also if you knew him over 30 years ago and he was grumpy then why did you move into the property?

mabon1 Mon 10-Jun-24 13:52:35

My neighbour's cat ate all the eggs out of two nests in my garden, I saw it happen. I would certainly close a gap in the fence too, good for him, I hate cats in y gardens, they poo everywhere.

leapyearnan Mon 10-Jun-24 13:52:37

There are several points to be made here. Just because someone prefers not to stop and chat doesn’t make them nasty. Some people will talk to anyone and even crave social interaction. Others prefer their own company, will be civil to others but prefer not to chat. You said he replied before walking away. Introverts can find it quite stressful to make small talk.
By law, it is your own responsibility to take steps to block neighbours animals from having access to your garden, regardless of who owns the fence. When I moved into a house several years ago, the fence between us and the neighbours was of the very open style, just lengths of wood with gaps between, the type you see in paddocks or fields. We had a dog so the first thing the neighbours did was seal off the fence, even though the fence belonged to me.
As so many have mentioned, cats are quite a nuisance in other people’s gardens. There’s a very true and apt piece of advise for those who don’t want cat poo in their garden: get your own cat because your own cat won’t poo in its own garden and neither will neighbours cats poo in another cats garden!
As for ‘hedgehog routes’, very noble of you if you’re that way inclined but you cannot expect others to have the same philosophy.
My final question would be why you think he’s nasty because he won’t stop and chat. Does everyone you speak to stop and chat? You say you’ve known him for 30 years. Perhaps he’s wondering what on earth he needs to say to you for you to get the message after all these years. Are you so starved of human interaction yourself that you’re desperate to get him to talk after all this time? If you’ve been pestering or badgering him in this way all this time, I’d say you’re very lucky that he’s so tolerant and hasn’t sniped back at you. Give him the benefit of the doubt, politely acknowledge him when you see him and leave it at that.

Diplomat Mon 10-Jun-24 13:52:47

We have animal sensors in our garden to keep cats out. Who wants cat mess in their garden? I don't want them in my garden and if they loiter, I get the hose out too.

Robin202 Mon 10-Jun-24 13:57:56

We recently moved and have a walled garden around 2 sides which is quite high for cats to jump to get out of the garden. One is elderly and struggles and the other damaged her wrist so my husband made a little ladder and they happily use it daily to sit and observe or to explore a bit further. Maybe that would be an option? .

Diplomat Mon 10-Jun-24 14:08:24

In defence of dogs Madcatwoman, I would point out guide dogs for the blind, sniffer dogs, mountain rescue dogs, sheepdogs etc.

2oaktrees Mon 10-Jun-24 14:17:23

We have a visiting cat almost every day but he's never pooped in our garden

knspol Mon 10-Jun-24 14:20:18

I'm a cat lover and have had them for years ( sadly no longer) but I think the neighbour did the right thing to block a hole in his own fence. He may not have known your cat used it but even if he did why would he want a cat leaving deposits in his garden for him to clear up?
If this is the only reason you're calling him 'nasty' then I think that's unreasonable.

crazyH Mon 10-Jun-24 14:20:25

My neighbour’s cat often sits on my garden bench - it’s a sweet little thing. My only problem is that I have asthma and the moment I sit on the bench, I know who has been on it. 😂

Frenchgalinspain Mon 10-Jun-24 14:25:00

Worlwide, there are millions of homeless cats and dogs in shelters and sancutaries. Each has their heartbreaking story.

It would be wise to keep one´s cats indoors and to obtain Micro Chips.

AreWeThereYet Mon 10-Jun-24 14:32:47

Even big hedgehogs only need six inches inches at the bottom of the fence to get through, not half a slat missing. Maybe he just thought it was unsightly, we'll probably never know.

NotSpaghetti Mon 10-Jun-24 14:57:06

orly that's silly!

It's not a choice - cat or XL Bully!
hmm

kircubbin2000 Mon 10-Jun-24 15:22:34

leapyearnan

There are several points to be made here. Just because someone prefers not to stop and chat doesn’t make them nasty. Some people will talk to anyone and even crave social interaction. Others prefer their own company, will be civil to others but prefer not to chat. You said he replied before walking away. Introverts can find it quite stressful to make small talk.
By law, it is your own responsibility to take steps to block neighbours animals from having access to your garden, regardless of who owns the fence. When I moved into a house several years ago, the fence between us and the neighbours was of the very open style, just lengths of wood with gaps between, the type you see in paddocks or fields. We had a dog so the first thing the neighbours did was seal off the fence, even though the fence belonged to me.
As so many have mentioned, cats are quite a nuisance in other people’s gardens. There’s a very true and apt piece of advise for those who don’t want cat poo in their garden: get your own cat because your own cat won’t poo in its own garden and neither will neighbours cats poo in another cats garden!
As for ‘hedgehog routes’, very noble of you if you’re that way inclined but you cannot expect others to have the same philosophy.
My final question would be why you think he’s nasty because he won’t stop and chat. Does everyone you speak to stop and chat? You say you’ve known him for 30 years. Perhaps he’s wondering what on earth he needs to say to you for you to get the message after all these years. Are you so starved of human interaction yourself that you’re desperate to get him to talk after all this time? If you’ve been pestering or badgering him in this way all this time, I’d say you’re very lucky that he’s so tolerant and hasn’t sniped back at you. Give him the benefit of the doubt, politely acknowledge him when you see him and leave it at that.

Hilarious! Some of you have great imaginations!
Read the post again.
I give up!

Cumbrianmale56 Mon 10-Jun-24 15:27:30

Cats go wherever they want and there are four where I live that will come in the garden. Unless you fit a very high fence or have a cat hating dog, they'll get in.
OTOH my brother lived in some flats 20 years ago that were starting to fill up with undesirables. There was a woman who lived on the landing above him who, should we say, had regular male visitors. He was glad to move out of town to a bungalow in a very quiet street.

focused1 Mon 10-Jun-24 15:51:56

Can see the' point of blocking off cat routes . We don't have cats but find plenty of their mess in our garden . Some may not have young children but be horrified if I attempted to throw nappies into their gardens

montymops Mon 10-Jun-24 15:52:44

I very much doubt that blocking up the gap in the fence will stop the cats. They are determined creatures and will find a way round it somehow. Cats are natural roamers.

Musicgirl Mon 10-Jun-24 16:07:03

kircubbin2000

I have known him for 30 years even before I moved in and he is a grumpy ex headmaster well known for being odd. My fence broke and when I fixed it I put one half slat for the cat to get through. All the local cats follow a route through my garden,over the fence and into the next street.One kitten broke his leg last year and I think the high fence is a dangerous jump. Nothing will stop cats if they want to go somewhere. I feel he is being mean a d petty as they are doing him no harm.

In other words, you have made your own little cat flap for all the neighbouring cats to use. I am with most others here in not wanting other people's cats having the run of my garden and it being encouraged enabled by my next door neighbour. You also say that he is odd. Not everyone wants to be the life and soul of the party - many people are happy in their own company leading quiet lives, while being on cordial "good morning" terms with the neighbours. Most of all, they want to keep their private lives private. As a retired headmaster, this is probably extra important to him.

Musicgirl Mon 10-Jun-24 16:16:12

Oh, and I like cats, although I am very allergic to them. One final point - could he be on the autistic spectrum, either diagnosed or not? This may explain the "oddness" you notice. In any case, he hasn't said or done anything that would extend to nastiness. To me, he simply sounds as if he is a private person who wants to lead a quiet life.