AIBU to start thinking about self defence in the home and when I am out and about?

Years ago I was attacked and mugged while on a riverside walk in broad daylight. Now I am much less confident about going for walks on my own, which makes me angry and sad. Then I acquired a personal alarm, which helped a bit, but you never know whether anyone would act on it if they hear an alarm going.
Also I avoid being out and about after dark, easier to do now that I am retired.
We were burgled once years ago, and that has made us much more careful about keeping doors locked and windows closed.

Mobile phones OMG I cringe whenever I see someone walking along holding their phone up, glued to it, it's asking for trouble these days. I always take my phone, but I never take it out of my bag unless I absolutely have to.

You are allowed to defend yourself or another person but you are not allowed to punish the intruders or chase after them once the danger has passed

So I could slam his fingers in the door or window if he was trying to prise it open?

I never thought I was a violent person but that sounds quite interesting.

MargaretinNorthant
Glad you still have your finger!

You are allowed to defend yourself or another person but you are not allowed to punish the intruders or chase after them once the danger has passed. You cannot for example stab them in the back if they are running away. But you could stab them in the chest or spray acid based paint remover into their eyes.

You tell the police in your victim statement that you were afraid of violence so you panicked and grabbed the xxx. You believed you were in danger of attack. You didnt mean to hurt anyone. Yadda yadda. If the intruder has run off and you say they had a weapon, or you "believed" they had a weapon, then who is to contradict you? Even if they get caught and its a he said/she said scenario no one is going to believe a burglar over a woman alone attacked in her own home.

In the USA you can get off with killing intruders but here you have to manipulate the system.

I have been warned by friends about walking alone in isolated countryside but this is my exercise and I enjoy it.
I am very careful at home though and lock my door as soon as I get there.

Callistemon213

biglouis

I have a fearful temper and I was charged up on adrenaline and screaming obscenities. There was an element of revenge involved and I wanted to hurt someone. It was probably a case that they had mistaken my address for somewhere else. Home invasions of this type are very rare.

I can't stop thinking about the DNA and all that wasted evidence; I doubt you would have been charged but I suppose you never know!

I keep imagining this scenario.
Slamming the door back with force and breaking the bones in his hand ....
finding the nutcrackers and ....
Bending his little finger right back (apparently very painful) ....

I shall remember this biglouis.

biglouis

I have a fearful temper and I was charged up on adrenaline and screaming obscenities. There was an element of revenge involved and I wanted to hurt someone. It was probably a case that they had mistaken my address for somewhere else. Home invasions of this type are very rare.

I can't stop thinking about the DNA and all that wasted evidence; I doubt you would have been charged but I suppose you never know!

I have a fearful temper and I was charged up on adrenaline and screaming obscenities. There was an element of revenge involved and I wanted to hurt someone. It was probably a case that they had mistaken my address for somewhere else. Home invasions of this type are very rare.

To posters who think Big Louis should have called the police... My daughter woke one summer night to see a man climbing in to her bedroom. Ground floor flat, but due to ground levels the window was quite high off the ground. Daughter screamed, man ran off. Police were called. Their response.... What do you want us to do about it?.

biglouis

About 10 years ago a masked man kicked my door in. He didnt get any further because I never used that entrance and there was furniture behind the door.

I had time to fetch a freezer knife from the kitchen (the jagged pointy kind) and slash several times at his hand which he had got between the door and the frame, trying to prise it ipen. There was a lot of blood and it went everywhere, He yelled and ran off. I didnt call the police because I thought I might get into trouble for hurting him - I probably damaged his hand pretty badly. I would like to hope that he was permanently injured and that might lead him to reconsider his useless life. However when I later looked at the cctv footage it could be seen that his mate was carrying a machete! I just called the emergency locksmith to fixx the door. Later I had it replaced by one of those sturdy composite ones that took two men to carry.

You never cease to amaze me BigLouise..I love your spunk..
In my mind you are the female version of Ernst Blofeld in James Bond

MargaretinNorthant

My late husband and I were in Paris, when a scooter driver tried to grab my shoulder bag. But I always walked with my thumb tound the strap as it would slip. He grabbed, I held on, he fell off his scotter!

brilliant..

Sorry about the typos!

My late husband and I were in Paris, when a scooter driver tried to grab my shoulder bag. But I always walked with my thumb tound the strap as it would slip. He grabbed, I held on, he fell off his scotter!

I don't worry about being attacked. I walk the dog out at night, just before bed, I dont keep my credit cards in my purse. I sleep with a quarter window open, but do close them when going out . Life has to be lived . I don't want to spend my days worrying .

It's just as well to have a few tricks up your sleeve, even if you don't ever use them.

Chestnut

Out and about I used to walk with confidence but no more! Now I feel totally vulnerable, but I've always felt my only hope would be to talk my way out of it (like in the movies). I couldn't possibly fight them off physically but maybe mentally. Hopefully my razor sharp mind would outwit them and make them change their mind about attacking me. 😎

Chestnut - - like Ricky Gervais in AfterLife, the alley way robbery scene - close your ears to the language
however, he does apply the tin of dog food? he happens
to be carrying

Many years ago because of my job at the time I attended what I call a self preservation course which was excellent - if a bit scary at times. A bit later on I was accosted by two girls coming towards me side by side in a narrow footpath and I used one of the actions I'd learned in case of them attacking me. Thankfully my short action seemed to frighten them and we both went our separate ways. Phew!!! Now I'm elderly I'm not sure I would be as confident as I was then - and I hope I won't ever have to try it.

….So (1) be able to run. (2) don’t be vulnerable….
Ok
It will all come down in the end to Police response (more police), Lots more CCTV everywhere, then education and adequately housing those who feel they have nothing to lose.
Finally build more prisons and provide proper rehabilitation.
Meanwhile most people will and should resist living in fear of being harmed, whether perceived or actual. Because that is no life.

Violent crime rate in Singapore July 2024 18.91. Violent crime rate in London 57.68. Where I live, highest city rate in Australia 43.4. Birmingham 63.7. Huston, you have a problem.

Sago

biglouis

About 10 years ago a masked man kicked my door in. He didnt get any further because I never used that entrance and there was furniture behind the door.

I had time to fetch a freezer knife from the kitchen (the jagged pointy kind) and slash several times at his hand which he had got between the door and the frame, trying to prise it ipen. There was a lot of blood and it went everywhere, He yelled and ran off. I didnt call the police because I thought I might get into trouble for hurting him - I probably damaged his hand pretty badly. I would like to hope that he was permanently injured and that might lead him to reconsider his useless life. However when I later looked at the cctv footage it could be seen that his mate was carrying a machete! I just called the emergency locksmith to fixx the door. Later I had it replaced by one of those sturdy composite ones that took two men to carry.

How bizarre that you never called the Police.
It may have saved someone else’s life.

A shocking experience!

But all that DNA!! What a wasted opportunity.
The perpetrator may have been already on the National DNA Datebase but may have succeeded in breaking, entering and attacking someone next time.

When you have experienced a traumatic attack - it really affects you .
I've been assaulted and the memory is something that floods back when I feel tired , can't sleep or stressed .

For that reason -I am super careful .
But yesterday having noticed that a gift certificate was about to expire I ventured into an area , which my friends , family and neighbours avoid due to the terrible reputation that it has .
I was shocked at the way it's changed -entire blocks of sixties buildings have been demolished and the bus stops moved .
I sensed the racial tensions and could see why most people are afraid to go there .
The biggest risk was being mugged .
And yet , I met people who enjoyed talking to me .
I had a rest in a cafe to avoid the rush hour and couldn't find the bus stop to get back .
After a while I found it .
Would I go back again?
I might during the day now I see the new routes .
At home , I've elected to stay in a semi as my neighbours , who live in the adjoining house make me feel safe .
Unfortunately , it's a family continually at war with each other and the marriage is crumbling .
If they didn't live there -I'm not sure where I'd live .

How bizarre that you never called the Police. It may have saved someone else’s life

I cant take responsibility for random other people. I can only take responsibility for myself. A woman alone could be raped or murdered. There were two of them.

I didnt call the police because I deliberately slashed at his hand and fingers in pure rage. I didnt want the hassle of explaining that to the police. Lets just say that I was pretty traumatized and I didnt want the hassle of police and courts.

I have since learned enough about the law of self defence in your own home to know that you can go pretty far in these circumstances. If you believe your life to be in danger you can use "reasonable force" and that includes a weapon or whatever comes to hand. There has now been a judgement by a high court judge which takes into account how you might act in fear, panic and the heat of the moment. The intruder themself does not need to be actually armed. If you "believe" them to be armed that is sufficient justification to use force to defend yourself.

After I bought a house I had a full security system installed with cctv on all sides. I also have a personal alarm on me at all times.

www.safeandsecurerollershutters.co.uk/news/what-are-your-rights-if-you-confront-an-intruder-on-your-property/

nanna8
Singapore has seen its crime rate go up though.
It has doubled over the last decade.

Biglouis apart, the chances of any of us being attacked or our houses coming under an attack from a determined house breaker, is incredibly low, not impossible, but highly, highly improbable.

The simple answer is to have a security system. My DH installed a downstairs alarm in our last house and we had a professional whole house alarm installed in this house, incorporating mains powered smoke alarms. We only set it when we leave the house and it is there mainly because, until recently we were away from home a lot.

In nearly 30 years, it did once, just after we had moved in, foil an attempted break-in and it went off during the night, when squirrels got into the loft and bit through the wiring, which ruined a nights sleep.

Twice DS, during the period we signed up to the monitoring service had the fire brigade round when he left sausages on the griddle and forgot about them. After that we discontinued the monitoring. But all that was in the frst 5 years. Nothing in the ensuing 25 years.

You have far more chance of being injured in a road accident. Does that stop you going outside or, if you can drive, doing so?

I have had a sister killed in a road accident and DD left with a disabled right arm after another road accident. I also saw my landlady killed in an accident when she was hit when crossing the road, including being a witness at the ensuing trial. It made me a little nervous when learning to drive but I had a good instructor and have been driving for nearly 50 years, happily and confidently in all traffic conditions.

Fear can cripple your life,if you let it. I do not let it.

biglouis

About 10 years ago a masked man kicked my door in. He didnt get any further because I never used that entrance and there was furniture behind the door.

I had time to fetch a freezer knife from the kitchen (the jagged pointy kind) and slash several times at his hand which he had got between the door and the frame, trying to prise it ipen. There was a lot of blood and it went everywhere, He yelled and ran off. I didnt call the police because I thought I might get into trouble for hurting him - I probably damaged his hand pretty badly. I would like to hope that he was permanently injured and that might lead him to reconsider his useless life. However when I later looked at the cctv footage it could be seen that his mate was carrying a machete! I just called the emergency locksmith to fixx the door. Later I had it replaced by one of those sturdy composite ones that took two men to carry.

How bizarre that you never called the Police.
It may have saved someone else’s life.