AIBU to start thinking about self defence in the home and when I am out and about?

I always close all downstairs doors and windows if I go upstairs to shower/change when I am home alone

I am conscious of my surroundings and people around me when out, avoid using my phone when walking down the road.
Always have car doors locked, and when I have the top down ensure my bag is out of reach.

So no you are not alone.

Others may think about it but I don’t I m quite sure whatever I learnt would not be much use against a strong person so I ll carry on in my ignorance
I ve lived though violence and two break-ins over the years but I m not going to spend my last years worrying about it

I should add I m not silly and take all the normal precautions like having the chain on my door at night and not answering the door after dark but I don’t think or expect any trouble when out and about

I thought you were talking about karate and that sort of self defence, which at 80 I won't be taking up.
It may be a good idea to keep a knife or gun in the house, but would you have the strength or courage to use it?
It must have been truly awful to have a knife held to your throat so my sympathy for your fear.

Sago do you mean protect yourself, as GrannyGravy13 has described, or to actually defend yourself should you be attacked? I think not exposing ourselves to any risk is impossible, because attacks are random, but I do much as described to protect myself. I also let my son or daughter know if I’m taking the dog out on my own anywhere other than our routine walk.

Casdon

Sago do you mean protect yourself, as GrannyGravy13 has described, or to actually defend yourself should you be attacked? I think not exposing ourselves to any risk is impossible, because attacks are random, but I do much as described to protect myself. I also let my son or daughter know if I’m taking the dog out on my own anywhere other than our routine walk.

I am talking about self defence not precautionary measures.

We have had 4 break-ins over the years, I have had my handbag stolen and my pocket picked a number of times, but all I do is follow the same basic rules i have followed all my adult life.

Keep to lit streets, do not take short cuts down dark and narrow alleys after it gets dark and just keep a look out for yourself.

At home, I am quite happy to leave doors and windows giving on to the garden open if I am upstairs, but wouldn't leave downstairs doors or windows open, which is entirely academic because we never have the windows downstairs at the front open anyway, as all rooms are dual aspect with windows at the back.

I do not feel, when I am out, that life is any more dangerous now than it always was.

Like BlueBelle i have better things to do than worry about safety. When all is said and done the UK is probably one of the safest countries in the world to be in.

What happened at Southport will live in the annals alongside Hungerford 1987, and Dunblane, 1996, Cumbria, 2010, Southport 2024. Horrrific incidents happening at random places and unforseable, but rare, very rare.

Years ago, when I lived in London I went on a self defence course run by Hendon police training college. It was very useful, fortunately I’ve never had to use any of it. Some things have stuck in my mind such as walking confidently, staying in lit areas, also some of the defensive moves. I really wouldn’t want to try them out.

It would be a good idea to carry a personal alarm. I think the Police may give advice on such a measure and also speak to you - and perhaps to women's organisations - about precautions you can take.

We have security lights outside but as much for our own benefit when walking up the drive or when nipping to the garage for something - 2 freezers are out there.

We have a ring doorbell and never leave the backdoor open if we are not in the kitchen.

I never use my phone when out and about but that's not for security reasons.

I would never try to defend myself though.

Good luck with that. Sorry do what you feel will help but the chances of an older woman overpowering a young man are pretty much zero.

Sixty years ago we were advised to look confident out and about in London, railway stations and the underground were considered the most likely problem.
A friend told me she now carries a whistle in her pocket, not sure if she would be able to use it if someone knocked her over, we are around 80 years old.

I have had four burglaries in my previous house. My daughter was robbed at knifepoint when we lived here. All I do is close the doors and windows when we go out.

If confronted by an attacker I think I’d just freeze. Shock I suppose.

Boz
I had a knife held to my throat. I was so angry when he started to pull my bag that I was pulling it back ( adrenaline )
He won the battle of the bag but I did run after him. I was livid 😡

Someone posted mentioning keeping a knife or gun in the house. There are two relevant points here. One is that unless you know exactly what you are doing with a gun (or a knife, come to think of it) it would be another danger rather than a defence. You should warn an intruder that you have a gun and are prepared to use it before pulling the trigger - and if you sound less than 100% confident in your ability, a determined attacker would just reach out and take it from you, then threaten YOU with it.

The other is that in the UK, guns are not in common use, unlike in the USA. Because householders do not normally have a gun to hand as a planned defence strategy, housebreakers do not normally carry one as an attacking weapon. The result is that homicide using firearms is a rare event in the UK. If the general public were to adopt them, the incidence of gun deaths would start to rise, and violence would escalate. We would all be MORE at risk of attack, not safer.

I seem to remember years ago watching the Oprah show, talking about self defense. Others above are correct in that showing confidence, in your walk and in eye contact counts for a lot. Also never setting aside your intuition. If your gut tells you something is amiss in a situation, then please pay attention to instinctive fight or flee.

As a young woman, I had a man lurch towards me and try to grab me at a shopping mall. This was during pre-Christmas week, and I instinctively screamed. He ran away with his friends, and I seem to remember all the shoppers turned and stared at me, but no-one chased or confronted the man. I was on a lunch break, and filed a police report. It turned out the young men were grabbing women and trying to kiss them. No charges were pressed, but this would be seen as sexual assault now. It was quite traumatizing, and luckily not serious.

I try to be aware, and not go out of the way places on my own, but don't live my life in fear of attack. I'm afraid that drugs have changed cities now, with so many unpredictable instances of violence.

I will be honest and say I hate the self confidence narrative, it seems to me just another way to blame women for not walking in the right way. And what of those who arent self confident, I have a friend who has complex issues, she would find it really difficult I think to walk confidently in many circumstances.

I’m not convinced appearing self confident is much of a deterrent.
Age has influenced my walks. When I was young and could run, had the naive idea I could kick a man and run, I walked miles in the countryside alone, other than with a dog or two. I’m much more safety conscious these days. I never walk without my phone. I feel safer with my big dog who can be protective than with my tiny spaniel.
I lock the front door these days whereas in the past I’d lock it about 7pm.

Galaxy

I will be honest and say I hate the self confidence narrative, it seems to me just another way to blame women for not walking in the right way. And what of those who arent self confident, I have a friend who has complex issues, she would find it really difficult I think to walk confidently in many circumstances.

The same rules apply to men. If they look isolated or weak, they will be picked on.

Sadly, the world has never been entirely safe and is unlikely to ever be. We can never all be absolutely equal in every way until we are all clones. All of us in some circumstance have to be extra careful.

Boz

I thought you were talking about karate and that sort of self defence, which at 80 I won't be taking up.
It may be a good idea to keep a knife or gun in the house, but would you have the strength or courage to use it?
It must have been truly awful to have a knife held to your throat so my sympathy for your fear.

No, not a good idea.
Years ago a work colleague said she was nervous at home or sunbathing in her garden and carried a knife with her. It was pointed out that an assailant could easily take it from her and use it against her.

Many years ago I did judo but doubt I could floor anyone now. I could bash them with my crutches, I suppose.

Elegran

Someone posted mentioning keeping a knife or gun in the house. There are two relevant points here. One is that unless you know exactly what you are doing with a gun (or a knife, come to think of it) it would be another danger rather than a defence. You should warn an intruder that you have a gun and are prepared to use it before pulling the trigger - and if you sound less than 100% confident in your ability, a determined attacker would just reach out and take it from you, then threaten YOU with it.

The other is that in the UK, guns are not in common use, unlike in the USA. Because householders do not normally have a gun to hand as a planned defence strategy, housebreakers do not normally carry one as an attacking weapon. The result is that homicide using firearms is a rare event in the UK. If the general public were to adopt them, the incidence of gun deaths would start to rise, and violence would escalate. We would all be MORE at risk of attack, not safer.

To own a gun in the UK you have to have a license, this is not easy to obtain.
If you have a license your gun must be kept in a locked cabinet the ammunition must be in a locked safe separate to the gun cabinet.
A gun cannot be propped up by the bed ready to go.

Sago

In the light of recent events, I have started to think about what I could do to defend others and myself in the hopefully unlikely event of an attack in my home or elsewhere.

Before you start to judge, I have had a knife held at my throat and been threatened with death, this happened when I was a hospital patient and defenceless.
We were also victims of a serious burglary, thankfully we were out.

Am I alone in thinking this?

I think defending myself is down to thinking to every situation I'm in, being cautious, keeping all doors and windows locked (home and car). And dogs, they annoy any would be attacker making noise.

I'm not one who believes knives or guns would defend me.

I'm thinking that you've probably got little chance of defending yourself against a determined intruder who's unlikely to stand still while you found your weapon of choice. If you are going for someone you need to know that you can take them down otherwise you are likely to inflame the situation. In that basis I go for preventative measures, personal alarm when dog walking, security lights and ring doorbell. I live in a relatively safe rural area.