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AIBU

Child screaming

(78 Posts)
Vintagejazz Tue 20-Aug-24 20:00:54

My friend has a grandchild who is always screeching and screaming when out playing. I have witnessed it at family events. Her parents never say anything, even when other people are wincing at the sound. She has no special needs, just an excitable child.

Apparently a neighbour recently came out onto the Green where they lived and asked this child to please keep the noise down. Daughter and my friend have taken huge umbrage at this. I am expected to sympathise with my friend but, quite frankly, having to listen to this child near my own home day in, day out, would drive me mad.

AIBU to think my friend and her daughter, and of course the child's father, should stop pandering to this and teach the child to show consideration to others. She is 9.

missdeke Wed 21-Aug-24 12:23:45

Sparklefizz

^I also remember seeing films of early Beatle's concerts where their music was drowned out by screaming, teenage girls in the audience. I wonder if any GNs were there screaming^

I was there myself at Tooting Granada in 1963, but not screaming. The Beatles were 2nd on the bill and the screaming was ear-splitting. However, top of the bill was Roy Orbison and everyone was silent and listening to him.

I saw that tour when they came to Walthamstow Granada and it was the same there, screaming for the Beatles but absolute silence whilst Roy Orbison sang. Trmendous applause at the end of each song though.

Bea0802 Wed 21-Aug-24 12:15:56

It's a bit like crying wolf. I always told my DC that if they screamed all the time how would anyone know when they needed help.

leeds22 Wed 21-Aug-24 12:14:47

I have always felt that when a child is allowed to scream as a matter of course, if they were suddenly in danger and their scream was actually for help, then it would probably be ignored as just the norm.

MissAdventure Wed 21-Aug-24 12:13:28

I was always fairly intolerant of children dominating every situation, whether it was interrupting, screeching, making a fuss, showing off.

I'd say I'm more tolerant now. (Probably because I'm quite deaf)

JdotJ Wed 21-Aug-24 11:50:24

Tricky situation as heaven forbid you say anything directly to parents or child but I'd follow the old adage of, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, and then play music at deafening level constantly, to drown out their noise.
If anything gets said then just reply, 'oh I had to turn it up otherwise I can't hear it with all the constant screaming'

Koalama Wed 21-Aug-24 11:43:31

This is my pet hate too, having worked with children for years now, I've always told them not to scream, to laugh and talk but not scream, unless you need help

cc Wed 21-Aug-24 11:41:55

My four didn't scream, though my granddaughter tried it on one day in our house, I think that she'd heard somebody else doing it. She's not done it again as we explained that we couldn't bear the racket. Is it purely a girl thing?

Sparklefizz Wed 21-Aug-24 11:38:24

I also remember seeing films of early Beatle's concerts where their music was drowned out by screaming, teenage girls in the audience. I wonder if any GNs were there screaming

I was there myself at Tooting Granada in 1963, but not screaming. The Beatles were 2nd on the bill and the screaming was ear-splitting. However, top of the bill was Roy Orbison and everyone was silent and listening to him.

Indigo8 Wed 21-Aug-24 11:32:19

Calendargirl

I don’t think teenage girls screaming for a couple of hours at a Beatles concert 60 odd years ago is the same as a 9 year old constantly screaming when playing outside.

Not that I was ever at a Beatles concert however.

sad

I will consider my wrist well and truly slapped for wandering off topic.

tickingbird Wed 21-Aug-24 11:18:45

It’s the present day over indulgent parents I’m afraid.

There’s a small park near my house and parents take their children to play on the swings etc. Sometimes the noise of screaming is dreadful. I look out of the window and often parents chatting and smiling indulgently at their offspring. The noise at times is really ear splitting but never a word said.

A child won’t suffer trauma from being told to stop screaming.

GrannyGravy13 Wed 21-Aug-24 11:14:44

I am going to play devils advocate now, do you think it could possibly be that people become more intolerant of noise as they age?

We have five children, the noise at times was loud, both inside and out. As parents we were capable of distinguishing between general shouting and screaming and a scream/shout of pain and/or anguish.

Calendargirl Wed 21-Aug-24 11:08:37

I don’t think teenage girls screaming for a couple of hours at a Beatles concert 60 odd years ago is the same as a 9 year old constantly screaming when playing outside.

Not that I was ever at a Beatles concert however.

sad

Indigo8 Wed 21-Aug-24 10:58:19

I, briefly, had a job in posh girls' boarding school. I had attended a girls' state school myself which was pretty quiet most of the time.

On my first day I was amazed at the level of noise and screaming which seemed to carry on all day and was even worse in the dormitory houses in the evening.

I also remember seeing films of early Beatle's concerts where their music was drowned out by screaming, teenage girls in the audience. I wonder if any GNs were there screaming.hmm

winterwhite Wed 21-Aug-24 10:40:44

I’m afraid my 3 DD used to shout a lot in the garden. They set up mini camps with their dolls and teds and yelled to and fro for hours with not infrequent wails if someone felt hard done by. I tremble now for the neighbours

Astitchintime Wed 21-Aug-24 07:25:18

Sitting on the fence isn't the solution here. The child will continue to behave in this manner as she knows no different, seemingly her parents and GM think it is acceptable. It isn't.

I certainly wouldn't not want to hear it on a regular basis. My AC and GC were all taught that screaming is only acceptable in the event of danger - if they were being attacked or someone was trying to force them into a vehicle.

Calendargirl Wed 21-Aug-24 06:59:15

Cossy

I think you are in a difficult position, I would just make a few um and ar noises and shake your head a bit grin

I’d never allow our children to scream like that, 9 is old enough to understand completely! Their neighbours have my sympathy!

I know it’s a difficult situation, but I don’t think ‘a few ums and ars’ are a solution.

Perhaps point out that screaming like that is just not acceptable, and it’s no surprise that people have complained. If a friend tells her that, it might make her think about it another way.

Vintagejazz Wed 21-Aug-24 06:29:02

Thanks. Reassuring to see people agree with me.

MissInterpreted Tue 20-Aug-24 20:55:00

Oh, I can sympathise. We have a family like that two doors down from us. There are seven children - and the four youngest do nothing but screech and scream at the top of their voices in the garden all day. They are home schooled too - so they're out there every day - and no, no special needs either. One girl in particular screams the place down - you would think she was being murdered. As others say, if anything serious did happen, no-one would pay any attention because they do it all the time. I would never have let my children - or my GS - behave like that.

Elegran Tue 20-Aug-24 20:49:09

flappergirl

I've noticed this trend. Children, many old enough to know better, screeching like monkeys in the jungle. I remember screaming once when I was about 6 years old (god knows what got into me). My father came out and asked in no uncertain terms what the hell was wrong with me. He told me "not to cry wolf" because next time I screamed nobody would take any notice. That stuck with me.

I don't mind children being excited and making happy noises but it does disturb me if they scream as though they are being tortured. It probably dates back to when a neighbour's child genuinely was being bullied by an older child and did scream like that. His mother recognised his voice, knew it wasn't just excitement and went to find him. If they habitually sound as though in agony, they risk being ignored when it really matters.

Cossy Tue 20-Aug-24 20:47:14

Babs03

A baby screams not a 9 year old child. We have a family near us with children at primary school who shout and scream for hours, it really starts to grate on my nerves, thank goodness they are back at school soon. A child that age should be told not to make so much noise and if she doesn't listen taken indoors until she can learn to behave. There is nothing wrong with disciplining children, would never suggest anything physical but there are many ways you can get through to your child that their behaviour is unacceptable.
We went to an xmas fair in Winchester last year and there was a child there who would suddenly shriek for no known reason, I would assume not special needs either, just messing about with her friend or sister whilst her parents ignored it.
She suddenly shrieked near me and a poor woman dropped her mulled wine and it went all over my trousers, but did the parents chastise the child, no, they simply laughed as did the child.

Well the parents have no manners or boundaries and clearly neither does the child! I’d have been livid!

Cossy Tue 20-Aug-24 20:45:59

I think you are in a difficult position, I would just make a few um and ar noises and shake your head a bit grin

I’d never allow our children to scream like that, 9 is old enough to understand completely! Their neighbours have my sympathy!

HowVeryDareYou2 Tue 20-Aug-24 20:40:04

When I started reading this, I expected it to say the kid was a toddler. A child of 9 should be able to play without screeching.
Girls do tend to squeal, but our GDs were always told to consider other people around.

Babs03 Tue 20-Aug-24 20:38:37

A baby screams not a 9 year old child. We have a family near us with children at primary school who shout and scream for hours, it really starts to grate on my nerves, thank goodness they are back at school soon. A child that age should be told not to make so much noise and if she doesn't listen taken indoors until she can learn to behave. There is nothing wrong with disciplining children, would never suggest anything physical but there are many ways you can get through to your child that their behaviour is unacceptable.
We went to an xmas fair in Winchester last year and there was a child there who would suddenly shriek for no known reason, I would assume not special needs either, just messing about with her friend or sister whilst her parents ignored it.
She suddenly shrieked near me and a poor woman dropped her mulled wine and it went all over my trousers, but did the parents chastise the child, no, they simply laughed as did the child.

flappergirl Tue 20-Aug-24 20:36:39

I've noticed this trend. Children, many old enough to know better, screeching like monkeys in the jungle. I remember screaming once when I was about 6 years old (god knows what got into me). My father came out and asked in no uncertain terms what the hell was wrong with me. He told me "not to cry wolf" because next time I screamed nobody would take any notice. That stuck with me.

Primrose53 Tue 20-Aug-24 20:20:51

We have 3 sibling screamers not far from our house. Probably about 18 months, 3 years and 4 years. At the moment they have a paddling pool out and they scream for hours. They never talk, just scream. The youngest one sounds like a cat.