Sorry this is a long thread. We have 2 DGC, one 6 and one 3. I started doing day care 5 yrs ago, my DH was working FT but I was PT. The other GP's started with one day but struggled as they were doing 10 hr day, I was doing 11hrs. Both GP's lived about 45 mins away. They cut back childcare so my hours increased but I carried on alone. Then Covid. As soon as poss DH and I worked out how to carry on and had DC 1 day a fortnight then 1 day a week. Other GP didn't do care. Then DIL off sick with stress, then 2nd pregnancy and birth and we carried on with same day a week and extras, including overnights and long weekends. First time other GP's had eldest GC to stay was when they were 5. First time I did 2 nights was when first GC was 8 months. We also go on at least 2 hols a year with them (which we mostly pay for - we can afford it), but, with the need for GP duties we only have about 1 full week away a year on our own and then this has to be arranged to ensure one parent can have the day off. We stick to parents rules about treats etc, but other GP's buy eldest GC a toy everytime they are there, they don't look after youngest at all - they come when youngest is at nursery. They indulge eldest, buy them what they want, tell them they can do what they want. Youngest is quite forceful and rough, and both say no and argue when you try to set boundaries. Parents seem exhausted with this and don't seem to like their children much. We have just had eldest GC for a couple of days and they argued and refused to do things - clean teeth, get dressed, wanted to do something then changed their mind, then when we said ok we won't do that, had a massive meltdown. Next week we have them both for 6 days, we agreed to this last year when we thought it would be easier as they would be older, but it is worse. After the last 2 days with eldest GC when I just felt we were parenting, because it wasn't fun, I really don't want to do this but they have booked a special holiday and would be devastated if they had to cancel and other GP's would not step into help - they dip in and out as suits them, indulge the eldest GC and say that they believe the GP's are there to spoil GC. Eldest GC knows this and tells us they prefer other GP's because they can have a toy everytime they visit. I'm pretty sure my parents didn't parent my children, they just had them for fun every now and then - I worked full-time and DH was away for periods of time with his job. At first both GC where much better behaved for us, but it seems that now we spend so much time looking after them they behave just as badly for us as for their parents. AIBU not to want to do it anymore
