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AIBU

Mean or frugal?

(78 Posts)
Patsy70 Wed 18-Sept-24 16:35:01

I’m all for equality, and always shared the cost of meals, days out, theatre/cinema tickets etc. when my OH and I first met, as we both had children & mortgages etc. I was very independent and had been divorced many years so used to fending for myself. However, I think the presentation of a ‘statement of account’ by your friend is an indication that he could well be mean, rather than frugal. I would tread very cautiously Seajaye.

crazyH Wed 18-Sept-24 16:31:30

Regardless of your monthly incomes, each of you should put, say, £200 into the ‘kitty’. The one in charge of the kitty should keep meticulous accounts. At the end of the holiday sit down together and work out who owes what to who. Money and friendship !!

Seajaye Wed 18-Sept-24 16:13:17

I have recently been away with a long standing male friend with whom I share common interests and hobbies for a weekend break. Generally when we meet up for days out together we take it in turns to pay for meals out, entry fees etc, and it balances out fairly evenly, but on this occasion I was surprised to be presented upon our return with a hand written ' statement of account' of our joint expenditure to the exact penny (save that one meal I paid for had been missed off, presumably an oversight ) .

I was perturbed at the otherwise accurate account and the suggestion of one of us ( him) owed me £17.85. This amount was on a total expenditure of just over £400 between us. The trip was on the basis of sharing expenses but I had not expected the expenditure to be monitored to the exact penny.

Is this a red flag in a possible long term relationship ( but not marriage) with this man as I suspect he is expecting me to agree to further trips.

.One of the reason I divorced my husband, was (among many other reasons) , his general meanness.

I have always considered my friend to be frugal and careful with money but the careful watch on my spending has unsettled me What do others think, AIBU and how would you broach the subject or would you just let it go?

For reference, we both enjoyed the trip and our monthly incomes are currently similar ( his is higher at the moment as he is working part time) but he has considerably more in assets.