Beware the Nanny State is here!

You're right, M0nica but my point was (supposed to be, anyway) that we don't even know if it was the police officer.

NotSpaghetti The OP used the term 'shambolic', which rather suggests something more than a bit of untidiness. I find her story of the police officer entirely believable, ie that it was a police officer and that he probably spoke, through formal channels to Social Services.

I quite agree that untidiness would not bother them. They see dreadful things and vile and filthy households, which I am sure the OP's is not, but they clearly saw concerns here that needed followup. Follow up was done and there was found to be no problem, or at least the OP could see no problems.

petra the OP is only assuming it was the police officer.
She does not know.

In all the years working alongside both the Police and Social Care I didn't find either of them easily thrown by untidiness.
... they may well be concerned about hazards though.

M0nica

I think people are being hard on the police. When thigs go wrong, when an elderly couple are found ill or collapse for lack of nourishment or are found dead at home, the first thing that is done is that Social Services are blamed for not picking the problem up. Then ift he police or any other public service has had any contact with that person who is blamed.

So, nowadays, any official person having contact with the public is trained to look out for any sign that anyone who could be vulnerable, older people, mothers with children, etc etc and report it to the relevant authority.

Now you say We are not tidy people, my husband and I! In fact some people might consider our home somewhat shambolic!

I am afraid to say this, please do not take it amiss, but someone coming into a home that is in the householder's own words shambolic may well see it as a house looking like a tip and interprete this as a house where the elderly occupiers - and your DH is 90 - are failing to cope and, as his job requires reported it on.

I used to work with elderly people, visiting them at home, and, yes, I used to go to some houses that looked as if a tornado had been round them and it is very difficult to see the difference between this being a sign that the occupier is failing and needs support and that the occupier is just happy living in chaaos. And to be honest, nine times out of ten, if a house looked shambolic, it was a sign of someone uable to cope.

So, Ok, in this case you and your DH are the one in ten, and somebody has to be that person, but in the other nine times the polic office has reported a household to social services, they have actually needed that help and his report may have saved that person from harm.

exactly.. and I re-iterate that some sort of alarm system would be useful.. a fall or a fire could happen at any time...

I think people are being hard on the police. When thigs go wrong, when an elderly couple are found ill or collapse for lack of nourishment or are found dead at home, the first thing that is done is that Social Services are blamed for not picking the problem up. Then ift he police or any other public service has had any contact with that person who is blamed.

So, nowadays, any official person having contact with the public is trained to look out for any sign that anyone who could be vulnerable, older people, mothers with children, etc etc and report it to the relevant authority.

Now you say We are not tidy people, my husband and I! In fact some people might consider our home somewhat shambolic!

I am afraid to say this, please do not take it amiss, but someone coming into a home that is in the householder's own words shambolic may well see it as a house looking like a tip and interprete this as a house where the elderly occupiers - and your DH is 90 - are failing to cope and, as his job requires reported it on.

I used to work with elderly people, visiting them at home, and, yes, I used to go to some houses that looked as if a tornado had been round them and it is very difficult to see the difference between this being a sign that the occupier is failing and needs support and that the occupier is just happy living in chaaos. And to be honest, nine times out of ten, if a house looked shambolic, it was a sign of someone uable to cope.

So, Ok, in this case you and your DH are the one in ten, and somebody has to be that person, but in the other nine times the polic office has reported a household to social services, they have actually needed that help and his report may have saved that person from harm.

NotSpaghetti

We don't know if it was the police office anyway!
🤷‍♂️

The OP has pointed the finger at the police officer who entered her house.

I would have been furious too. Obviously the police visit when the house was untidy touched a raw nerve. Odd episode.

I don’t call 90 and stooped vulnerable and I don’t call obese and slow moving vulnerable. People can live as they please providing their life style doesn’t impinge on their neighbours.

I think it unwarranted interference to make a referral to Social Care without telling you. No two ways about it.

We all have our own standards of tidyness and a lot of us value our privacy. I completely agree there's something unsettling about people being able to report you to Social Services, seemingly without good reason and without your knowledge.

I don't know how much power Social Services have or what they do if they receive more than one or two phone calls. It might be worth looking into where you could get some help privately, for the future, when you might not be able to cope as well as you do now. Then, if Social Services contact you again, you could tell them firmly that you're coping very well thank you and that you know where and how to obtain help in the future, should you need it.

We don't know if it was the police office anyway!
🤷‍♂️

In the course of their work police officers enter a lot of homes.
I imagine he saw conditions that concerned him enough to warrant him making that call.
He was also covering himself because of what if.

Ziggy62

Earlier this year my 91 year old mother in law returned home from a few weeks in hospital, finding help for her to stay in her own home wasn't easy!!
If the policeman has passed on your details to social services and they have responded so quickly (and it's not a scam) then personally I think you should be grateful he cared enough to bother and you may be offered some assistance.
I doubt he would have made the referral just because the dishes hadn't been washed tbh.

quite...

Earlier this year my 91 year old mother in law returned home from a few weeks in hospital, finding help for her to stay in her own home wasn't easy!!
If the policeman has passed on your details to social services and they have responded so quickly (and it's not a scam) then personally I think you should be grateful he cared enough to bother and you may be offered some assistance.
I doubt he would have made the referral just because the dishes hadn't been washed tbh.

I suspect the 'over-65s being vulnerable' is just something that has never been updated, along with a lot of other legislation. The mills of the Gods and all that... it was probably just bad luck that someone saw the place a bit untidier than normal (happens to us all).

During lockdown we had 3 different groups knocking on our door asking if we were okay, did we need help, etc. Our initial response was 'how old do they think we are??' but we realised that we are the oldest people in our road. To the young couples in most of the houses, who we rarely see and don't know, we do look old. (I'm 68). We had a giggle about it and thanked them for taking the time to check.

I think you should be grateful SingingRabbits if the young policeman, whilst carrying out his normal duties, cared enough about your living circumstances to remember to make a report to Social Services..

Your attitude frankly baffles me..

Spare a thought for social workers who tread a precarious line between being interfering and neglectful. The police officer too may have had in mind the 'safeguarding' duty that the police have in addition to their myriad other responsibilities. 'Safeguarding; is not only about vulnerable children and abused women. Increasingly, the needs of older people have to be considered.
By the way, Sago, I think it was you who mentioned hedges overhanging the footway. This is an offence and reporting it is not 'interference". I once found myself having to walk in the gutter to avoid an overgrown hedge which I reported to the local council. The next time I walked that way, the hedge had been trimmed.

Consider it a Welfare Check, and be thankful it happened sooner rather than later: www.bbc.com/news/articles/cd731j3004lo

SingingRabbits

Hi Cossy, thanks for your response. You obviously "get it"! Four dogs, how lovely!! I find people's homes remarkably empty. We have pictures on our walls together with bookcases crammed with books. My husband, particularly, has always generated a lot of paper. People think books are 'untidy'. If we had a great, bloomin' telly covering a wall in every room, no doubt they would accept us as normal! Of course we would like more space and more storage but we don't have dementia and, as I've said elsewhere, we don't smell (hilarious).

If you don’t want to be criticised for having a messy cluttered house, perhaps you should avoid criticising those who prefer a clean, uncluttered environment.

I am concerned that you let a "police officer" into your house at night.
Was he in uniform? Did he show you ID?
Think you should ring social services and find out if they have any record of having rung you. If not thus should bd reported to the police.
Alarm bells are ringing.

I'm not.

Hi Cossy, thanks for your response. You obviously "get it"! Four dogs, how lovely!! I find people's homes remarkably empty. We have pictures on our walls together with bookcases crammed with books. My husband, particularly, has always generated a lot of paper. People think books are 'untidy'. If we had a great, bloomin' telly covering a wall in every room, no doubt they would accept us as normal! Of course we would like more space and more storage but we don't have dementia and, as I've said elsewhere, we don't smell (hilarious).

We have made our forward plans. I am not the type of person to wait for others to offer help, being naturally proactive. That being said, I have also watched older relatives cope with the Care System in this country and vowed to learn from it when my turn to be old arrived!

Thank you for your response. I strongly suspect that the reporting person was a young (30 something) police officer who knocked on our door at midnight recently because his team were searching for a man in the area and wanted to know if he had been in our back garden. He asked to come through to have a look and it was as he was departing that he said something about would we like him to "contact the council". I said, "No thank you", he said, "sure?" I replied that yes I was sure. I maintain that he had no business going against my clearly stated wishes and take great exception to that. I suspect he was basing his opinion on seeing an untidy dining room and kitchen where the washing up had not yet been done and where my dear husband had left sundry items scattered all over the table! Does nobody else ever get untidy at home? Just because we are old and don't move quickly does not mean that we need "care", oh and we don't smell by the way!

No, is the answer to your highly biased assumption. I am not THAT obese and am very aware of hygiene issues. Good heavens! This is very amusing.

Take it yoh were contacted via a landline phone number and not a mobile as this would have to be known by whoever contacted SS. Don't be distraught at the contact, seems there is someone who is at least noticing the issues you are dealing with and probably thought you could perhaps have help if needed. There are many who would be grateful to know there was someone out there who cared.

Did they call on a landline or your mobile? I'm suspicious by nature and would have thought a welfare visit would have been done in person......understanding though that there are staff shortages. Where did they get your phone number? If you are under a doctor and have seen a medical professional recently, or even in the past month or so, they may have referred you if they had concerns as they would certainly have your phone number.