AIBU or do I need to move with the times?

I would need more details about the walk before deciding.
There are roads and roads.
Areas and areas.
Distance
How well lit? etc

I'm just so glad I don't have to make these decisions any more....

I did walk to school from when I was 10 but my parents could see from the top of the drive to the school I took my brother who is 16 months younger than me this was to infants and junior school . This was 1968.

We had to walk across field to get to the highschool . There is no way I would have let my children do that . But it was a different age .

When my daughter was going to high school she walked to school and took her brother to primary school there where no main roads to cross and the schools where in the next road to eachother. And there where always other children and parents walking the same route. No after school clubs in those days my children are 41 and 37.
There is a lot more traffic on the roads today and no way would I let my children walk to school at aged 9.

But it's the parents choice as grandparents have no say . We just have to keep our mouths shut and worry in silence .

Don’t walk with your gd to and fro from school or dd could think you are overriding her. It is for the parents to make the decision at the end of the day.

I know it’s a worry and you have told your dd so. Now you have to sit back difficult as that may be. If it’s any help when my DD’s were at school they weren’t allowed to do cycling proficiency until they were 9 as that is the age they become spatially aware.

Another here who thinks it depends on the route and the area and other children but definitely a yes being collected in the dark after the late leaving of school due to activities

I don't know about moving with the times Sarnia. Surely, as others have said, you were allowed much more freedom when you were your GD's age? I certainly was! It is good that she wants the independence, and I'm sure her parents will make sure she is ready.

Trouble is that it doesn’t really matter what you think, her parents will make the decision and you will just have to support them all! Good luck.

I certainly walked to school on my own at the age of 9, but we didn't have afterschool activities and as most children walked and it was a village I think it was fairly safe.. but I notice in the area I now live in Brighton that children are either driven or taken by their parents even at the age of nine.. maybe social media has made a difference to how parents feel about safety..
When my son was 9 and we were living in an inner city area and he wanted to walk home from school I arranged for an older boy to walk with him.. they became good friends.
it does as other posters say depend very much on the child and the area.. but I would not be happy with the idea of a nine year old walking alone in the dark wherever they lived.

NotSpaghetti

theworriedwell I'm not sure that's true. It depends where you lived in terms of being in a gang of kids in the 60s.

I never walked home from school with anyone and once in secondary school had to go on a bus alone and still walk without company.

You weren't necessarily "with" someone but there were lots of pedestrians round schools as I honestly don't remember anyone being driven to primary school in the late 50s early 60s.

I was frequently not with a gang or with friends but there were lots of kids and plenty of mums with the younger ones.

Maybe it was different if you lived somewhere remote.

theworriedwell I'm not sure that's true. It depends where you lived in terms of being in a gang of kids in the 60s.

I never walked home from school with anyone and once in secondary school had to go on a bus alone and still walk without company.

I walked to school and back when I was five! We did go as a group mostly, with some older children. We walked through some open country near a football stadium and had one fairly busy road to cross. However this was in the 60s when traffic was lighter.

I think back to walk to and from school in the late 50s and most of the 60s. The big difference was you would be with a whole crowd of children, the problem now is so many children are driven to and from school (I live close to a primary school and the parking issues are terrible) and therefore children walking tend to be more isolated.

I think you have to consider the child, the route e.g. roads with no pavements would make me say no, and how much pedestrian traffic there is.

Surely on the 3 nights with after school activities she could be picked up if it is dark with her walking the other two with a plan that as the nights get lighter she can do the 5.

Agreed Jackiest

Witzend - some adults can't reliably cross a road!
My mid-30s daughter is a case in point.... But I do think she is an outlier!

Jackiest

All depends on the child and the route. There is no set age and there are some adults who I don't think should be allowed out on their own.

😂😂😂

All depends on the child and the route. There is no set age and there are some adults who I don't think should be allowed out on their own.

Babs

I agree it’s a tough call and I also understand everyone’s concerns, but we all know we never stop worrying about our children or grandchildren, however old they are.

Arm them with advice and trust them, that’s all we can do

Cossy

Goodness, have you forgotten about our childhoods?

Yes, roads are busier, but at 9 one should be able to cross roads safely.

At 9 I was getting a bus home, with school mates, then walking (alone) Approx 1 mile down a dark country road, no mobiles in those days and no public phone boxes on my route.

Children need to learn to take measured risks whilst growing up, it teaches them the skills they need for life

Yes I agree with that but would still feel nervous about a 9 year old GC walking home in the dark, I suppose it is not so much because dangers have increased but because due to wider news coverage and stories on social media we have become bombarded with tales of pedophiles and children wielding knives round every corner. My parents were young people during the Second World War, they lived with very real danger every day so when we were kids I imagine they thought letting us walk back and to from school from an early age was no big deal. But times have changed. Perhaps we have come too far down the road of over protecting our children, but is hard to call.

Providing she is a sensible child and not wayward. I cannot see the problem. DD walked home from schoo l at 9. A couple of 100 yards but with two major roads to cross at traffic lights and one lights free. DGC also both started walking home at the age of 9

9 soon becomes 10 and 10 becomes 11. By rgw time she reaches 11 and goes to secondary school, she will be confident and conpetent travelling around on her own.

At 11 DGC started walking a mile and a half to school along aa major road. By then she was so confident she organised her own walking train of friends she picked up as she walked to school. It didn't last long as they all began before and after school activities, but in those first few rather scary weeks as she and her friends started at scondary school it was a great confidence booster for all of them.

Nansnet, a lot will surely depend on how sensible the child is. Personally I think my Gdd1 is certainly sensible enough, but I’d think twice about Gds, only 15 months younger, but something of a human hurricane, often heedlessly charging along wherever.

More than once I’ve told him that he still needs to LOOK! at the busy road crossing, regardless of the green light, because some drivers are bad or not paying attention, and don’t stop.

MissAdventure

I think it best to run through some scenarios with her, and ensure she knows what to do, should anything unexpected happen.

How far is the walk, and even if not with another child, are there likely to be others around, too?
It is a worry, but the best preparation you can give to a child is to get them street wise, rather than keep them away from these things.

👏👏👏

Goodness, have you forgotten about our childhoods?

Yes, roads are busier, but at 9 one should be able to cross roads safely.

At 9 I was getting a bus home, with school mates, then walking (alone) Approx 1 mile down a dark country road, no mobiles in those days and no public phone boxes on my route.

Children need to learn to take measured risks whilst growing up, it teaches them the skills they need for life

I would start off with her walking to school in the morning, but I would follow her at a discrete distance for the first few times. I would not allow her to walk home alone on the 3 evenings after activities..

She would learn an important lesson..compromise

Witzend I suppose it's worth it for the independence she feels though. 👍

My Gdd1 is now in year 5 and is delighted to be allowed to walk to and from school on her own.* It takes a max of 15 minutes and there’s one major road - with a pelican crossing) to cross. It’s a generally very safe area and a lot of other children at the school live nearby, so often she’s not walking alone.

She does have some after school activities, and after-school club, which will soon mean coming home after dark, but the roads are well lit.

Dd and SiL are happy for her to do it. She has been given an old Nokia ‘dumb’ phone, just in case.

*Not that it’s much help to dd/SiL, since the two younger ones still need to be taken and collected!