AIBU or do I need to move with the times?

MOnica I agree with you.

I think the problem today is that because so few parents let their children do things alone at a young age, it is very uncommon to see a child under 11 on the street alone that if they are out alone, it does actually put them more at risk.

If it were normal to see younger children outside walking alone on the pavement, perhaps down the road to post something, or visit their friend 10 doors down, or doing errands for their parents at the corner shop, this would be nrmalised and children would be safer.

Granarchist

In switzerland children go to school alone from 5 yrs old - everyone looks out for them and it seems to work

In my experience of Switzerland, cars don't go above 10mph as the roads are too steep

Would you have felt like this with your children back in the day? I'm guessing they were outside playing with friends at an early age, as were probably you when you were a child? all without mobile phones. And nobody would have batted an eyelid, so why now?? Theres still the same dangers as back then. Its up to her parents at the end of the day anyway and its good they get independent before going to senior school where she'll certainly need her wits about her then! You could offer to buy her a non-smartphone if you're really bothered but it is up to the parents she is their child ultimately.

When we lived in rural Suffolk one friend would not let her sons go out on their bikes along the country lanes. She was worried about paedophiles lurking behind hedges. The boys were at junior school. I thought that there was more danger from cars speeding along the roads.

One charity called Action Against Abduction estimates that around 50 children under the age of 16 are abducted every year.

I have observed children who are wrapped in cotton wool until they go to secondary school are more likely to become difficult when they reach puberty and are often too strong for parents to deal with. This happened to the friend referred to above.

In switzerland children go to school alone from 5 yrs old - everyone looks out for them and it seems to work

I’d say the parents are doing the right thing , my GD is the same age and now walks to school with a friend. I only learned this the other day and was pleased that she is learning to be independent and self reliant. This a a bigger question, but is it possible that the significant rise in anxiety and mental health issues in children is due to them being overprotected in their primary school years? By not being given opportunities to take risks and test themselves they’re not learning about the hard knocks of life!

MissAdventure

I think that having a phone might result in them walking blindly along, as adults do, not looking properly where they're going, or taking in their surroundings.

Exactly, as per my pp!

We had this situation last year. Granddaughter was 9 then. The School at a parents/child assembly at the beginning of the year advocated independence at that age and suggested openly walking home. This never sat right with me. Of course the children heard this and demanded they do what the school advocated. It is up to the parents not the school when the time is right for everyone. Granddaughter lives on a busy main trunk road, to avoid part of it means a walk through the park. There’s a playground outside the School they get distracted with etc. We compromised by meeting in the Library below the School. It only takes one moment at that age of misjudgement - they are between being still very childlike and approaching puberty. Schools (in my opinion) should not dictate (or advocate) on issues such as this - each child is an individual with their own set of individual circumstances.

If she is coming to yours then your rules,and you pick her up! If she’s going home then that’s the parents decision.Next year is soon enough.

I think that having a phone might result in them walking blindly along, as adults do, not looking properly where they're going, or taking in their surroundings.

Bugbabe2019

If she’s walking alone she needs a phone

Both my granddaughters are year 5 and now walk home. Their Mum and I had a conversation about this very thing. Eventually they have been given a smart watch, specially designed for younger people. They have a tracker and store 3 phone numbers, only one game and no internet connection. They have to hand the watch in at school and collect at the end of the day. It’s not like having a smart phone but does have some of the advantages.

What a great story Lahlah65
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mollyb

Put an airbtag in her coat

I read that as airbag

I think you can get mobile phones that don't have social media apps that would be suitable for young kids. I believe in giving children that easy means of contacting their parents as well as parental reassurance of being able to track where the child is. I don't understand the attitude that somehow phones are an adult-only accoutrement

Get her a high vis vest for the darker evening maybe?
Can you get her a dumb phone for calling you?
And an umbrella for when it rains.

My kid walked home on her own from age 6 - she had a dumb phone and we practiced road safety.

I got a bus home from school from age 4 - the nun would walk us to the bus stop, and I’d walk home after getting off at my stop.

Darkness and not having a phone aren’t lethal.
Practice road safety with her.
Support her parent’s way of doing things.

fancythat. It would seem so. But a lot will depend on how close to school? Is the child accustomed to being driven there? are there any friends to walk with? are they used to playing and walking around there own home vicinity? Have they until now been reliant on an adult to initiate all of their socialising/parties etc.
AND
are the parents themselves strongly influenced for good or bad by their own school/home experiences? Are the parents instilling confidence or fear and anxiety?

My personal thought is that ideally all pre 11 year olds/secondary school pupils should go to a school as close as poss on foot.
But these days it is not always convenient or practical for parents work times or if the kids share time between separated mums and dads.

Simpler was best but the whole issue of how far children have to travel to primary school nowdays has been influenced strongly by political decision over the last 30 years.
Glad I had the freedom and so did my own children. We were far more autonomous.

I went to school alone at age 5. This consisted of walking to the bus stop - about a 5 minute walk - catching a bus to the next town - getting off, crossing a main road and walking a long way down a leafy road to the school. Same again on the way back.

But there was a lot less traffic then of course.

It is unfortunate that your DD asked your opinion! It is always a challenge to know how honest to be ....

I think that if the parents are happy with it, then we have to presume that they have gone into it in detail and made their decision on the basis of the facts as they see them. They are the parents so that is that.

A "dead" phone might be a good idea though so GD can call help if needed.

Thanks to each and every one of you who took the time to reply. I have had a chat with my daughter and mentioned the good advice given by you all. It seems her school has a Buddy system where children who walk to and from school do so with another pupil. She is a sensible little girl and this weekend was out with her parents walking the route and telling them what to look out for and when it was safe to cross the road. I feel more settled now. I don't want to mollycoddle her but as she is the youngest grandchild all this growing up and becoming independent has come very soon. Thanks again, everyone. X

Do we all not think that there are a lot more "baddies" in UK than there used to be, when "we walked to school"?

I always walked to and from school and it was a three quarter of an hour walk. Less cars on the road and not so many dodgy people as we seem to have now. If they are walking with others that's fine when it's light but I would pick her up on the late nights. It's her parents decision. I never worried about my children, they all walked to school.

If she is a sensible girl and it is not too far I don't see any reason why she shouldn't walk, a compromise of walking to school and being collected at the end of the day until she is used to and proved she can do it could work. And you never know - she might try it and not like it! Last time we visited the grandchildren in Australia (then aged 9 and twins of 6) they all three cycled together to and from school - its not far but still a busy road to cross. They seemed happy to do it and confident. In the late 50s I went to school in a nearby town - I walked to the corner and waited for my friend's Dad who dropped us off on the way to his job, then several of us walked to the bus stop and caught a bus back, then walked home from the bus stop - from the age of 5 to 11. On Brownies night I got a later bus by myself. With my youngest I did collect her from school until she was in Year 6, but that was because I liked the walk and meeting up with other parents - purely selfish!!!

MissAdventure- I totally agree- and now my youngest(21, but looks much younger) has gone to live at uni accomodation,(A shared house) in one of the worst crime cities in England. I'm sick with worry.

My 2 sons didnt walk to school / home alone till year 6 and we were literally over the road from school, then after moving about 3 to 4minutes away. When they began high school bus stop was same distance.You can never be too careful these days though, as theres more in news about 'kids' attacking other kids, or teen/child stabbing incidents.the young ones are out of control more than they ever were.And all thats without the added worry of aduĺt 'stranger danger'

I’m not sure but my neighbour’ boy walks to school on his own and the dad can track him on his own phone. It’s obviously linked to the boy’s phone.