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Friendship on the rocks

(28 Posts)
Cossy Sat 26-Oct-24 15:07:14

If you’re upset and hurt , why not just let your friends know?

GranPepp Sat 26-Oct-24 14:58:30

I think many friendships have been changed/strained by covid. I observe you are 2 hours away from your original couple (friends) but you "always made the effort both ways". You would have been constrained from this type of travel during covid due to restrictions on anything other than essential travel. I also think it sounds like you were doing the travelling to see them so you may have been more invested in the friendship if they didn't do their fair share of travelling to see you. It's a shame but sometimes friendships run their course even lengthy ones. I am no longer in contact with a very good friend from childhood who was a godparent to my DC. She moved away and, apart from a few messages and phone calls, I found she drifted off. After making efforts as I'd valued her as a friend, I decided reluctantly the friendship had run its course and I am content that we were very good friends but our lives moved in different ways. It happens unfortunately.

sparkle1234 Sat 26-Oct-24 14:04:29

We've been friends with another couple for over 40 years . Since we've all retired and because of covid we seem to have drifted apart. They live 2 hours away but we always made the effort both ways , have enjoyed holidays and weekends together etc but two things seem to have divided us over the last couple of years . Another couple started joining in with us and our foursome became six . We started to feel like the spares , then they started inviting us to stuff on dates when they knew we wouldn't be able to come , because we were away on holiday or had other engagements that we had previously mentioned .A pattern started to emerge and there would never be any discussion about changing the date of the get togethers so we could all join in .
We have a WhatsApp group which we'd previously used to arrange social events but they don't use it anymore, the arrangements are made between them and then we're invited and always on occasions when they know we can't come . We recently celebrated a big anniversary and were going to invite them to join us on a Villa holiday but 6 months before the two ladies told me they were having a girls week away and did I want to join them , on my big anniversary !! Surprised, surprise !!!
My husband now feels the friendship has run its course , he doesn't want to know anymore . We're being civil , answering messages etc but that's as far as it goes . Feeling like I'm back in the school playground to be honest and a bit hurt and disappointed that we can be so easily disposed of .Has anyone had experience of this and how did you deal with it ?