Birthday Greetings with GD

Know how you feel and saddened by it.

I don't expect anything now, they are in their twenties, working and seeing friends etc so I am off the list almost . I sent them a gift and money and what's app them saying Happy Birthday, have a lovely day. Some times they reply. I do give a big thank you for anything I receive and think they could spare a minute but am not worrying about it. I am not going to be a nag and demanding. If I didn't want to do it I wouldn't.

TBH I’d never expect a scheduled 5 minute chat on their birthdays. Especially on school days, a house with 3 young children is always busy. Early on the morning we usually send a WhatsApp message or little video of us singing Happy Birthday, and dd will usually send a brief one back of whichever Gdc saying ‘Thank you, Granny and Grandpa!’

Allira

^Christmas birthday does that for you.^
But then there was always someone who would give just one present!

None of our family or friends did that thankfully. I think she would have loved a school day birthday.

Christmas birthday does that for you.
But then there was always someone who would give just one present!

Nansnet

The thing I find most strange about this is why it was necessary for the OP to have to ask if it was OK for her to have a 5 min call to wish her GD happy birthday. Why not just call anyway? ... surely calls don't have to be arranged with prior notice?

Every child has a birthday that falls on a school day, but it's not impossible to fit in a quick call, whether it's at the breakfast table, in the car on their way to school, or when they get home later. It really shouldn't be that difficult. In fact, it shouldn't be difficult at all, unless someone deliberately wants to make it so.

My DD never had a birthday on a school day. Christmas birthday does that for you.

I would be upset too. I think I would actually just call anyway. They can always not answer….and if they do, you will feel better for seeing your grandchild. I understand that families are so busy these days but there is a limit…and this is one of them. Hope you get to speak to her!

grandtanteJE65

I am with your grandchild¨s parents on this one.

A birthday on a school-day is likely to be rushed and cousins visiting from overseas is a priority too.

I wonder too why you found it necessary to ask if you might phone on her birthday - why not just do so another time?

And honestly, you sent money - the child probably has no idea what she wants to use it for - a thank you by phone, e-mail or text within the next few days should do fine.

How old are your grandchildren?

No you're not being unreasonable..providing you have a good relationship with parents and gd? I'd be upset tbh. Not a lot to ask at all.

I don't necessarily expect to see, or even speak to, my GC on the actual day. It's a bonus if I do. They are all grown up now. I just send greetings via WhatsApp or similar, embellished with lots of emojis etc. And then make arrangements about when I can see them to give presents etc. or go out for a meal.
However, I do think there is a lack of manners , and casualness about saying thank you these days, which is a pity.
It doesn't take much effort does it.
Mine are pretty good generally, thank heavens.

Allira

Nansnet
Just a quick call (and I mean quick, not a lingering chat) first thing in the morning, before school/or straight after school, or when they get home in the evening, before bed, just to say, 'hope you have/had a lovely birthday'.

Yes, this. We call, sing Happy Birthday (badly), which makes them laugh, they say thank you and that's it, off they go for the day or for whatever they're doing later, knowing their grandparents have remembered them.

Much the same here. It wouldn’t occur to me to expect - still less demand - a 5 minute chat.

“Priority pole?”
that’s an attitude which will end in tears.
Life is just a series of steps(slides?) down that “pole” when you are no longer the apple of your parents’ eyes, somebody’s Valentine, a blushing bride, the adored Mum of a tiny baby, the love of somebody’s life …
@ OP, it’s down hill from now on my dear!

What ‘priority pole’?
That comment suggests underlying tensions in the relationships.
Family lives are even busier now than 35 years ago when mine were babes. There are endless out of school activities and usually both parents working.
In any event the child’s birthday is about her, not which adult relative is top of the priority pole

We just make a quick phone call to say Happy Birthday or send a message via my daughter, I don’t ask for a scheduled call

Fact is that while we would all love more thanks/ feedback/ appreciation from GC, its not something you can demand, expect or pout about. In fact any self pity or conditions actually have the oppsite effect. Give what you want to give gladly and then dont over think the details. The children themselves are usually unaware of all the dynamics. The parents are usually over run, under pressure, clueless, or just not on the same wave length as the GP. It.might not seem fair but its the reality. Expect nothing. Be happy for anything that is available. In tbis situation..just send a happy video message to GC x

I don't think there is enough information in the Op to suggest that phone calls are normally 'booked' or that the children don't normally talk to GPs or thank them for presents. Or to call the parents 'entitled'.

It sounds as if there are unusual things going on this year and maybe the parents are a bit stressed trying to fit it all in. It's possible that there is such a rush to get the children to school in the morning anyway that parents don't want to commit to anything extra on a day when the children will be overexcited anyway. We also don't know how old GD is, and whether she is capable of making her own calls or even has a phone - although choosing her own present does suggest she is old enough for both.

The thing I find most strange about this is why it was necessary for the OP to have to ask if it was OK for her to have a 5 min call to wish her GD happy birthday. Why not just call anyway? ... surely calls don't have to be arranged with prior notice?

Every child has a birthday that falls on a school day, but it's not impossible to fit in a quick call, whether it's at the breakfast table, in the car on their way to school, or when they get home later. It really shouldn't be that difficult. In fact, it shouldn't be difficult at all, unless someone deliberately wants to make it so.

I am with your grandchild¨s parents on this one.

A birthday on a school-day is likely to be rushed and cousins visiting from overseas is a priority too.

I wonder too why you found it necessary to ask if you might phone on her birthday - why not just do so another time?

And honestly, you sent money - the child probably has no idea what she wants to use it for - a thank you by phone, e-mail or text within the next few days should do fine.

I wondered that too. I wouldn't necessarily expect a call on the day.

No wonder You are feeling hurt ...I would too 🩷💜🩷

What is wrong with people. A quick call saying thank you Grandma is not expecting the earth! No matter how busy you are this is not much to ask. I loathe bad manners. Children these days are being brought up as spoiled entitled brats.

I would text before schooltime, with birthday type icons included, send with balloons, lazers, spotlights, write
Happy Birthday Name !
then
a reply text of thank you Grandma! kisses galore,
beats a stilted conversation formally booked in,
generosity of spirit fully displayed

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