Left alone

I'm not sure if people are reading the thread but the discussion was had with Chicken's daughter and a solution found.

Look back to 27/11/2024 16:53

Hope all is still OK chicken

I would think the very least they could do is to pay for a cat sitter and ensure their parents welfare is taken care of over Christmas. After all, they should have the funds (to say nothing of gratitude in abundance) having been given a free house!

Also “late to the party” I was saddened to hear you would be entirely on your own . Not my place to criticise other families, but I find it thoughtless of them

Hope everything was ok with the Christmas period chicken. going forward, it would be useful for you and DH safety to have an assessment visit from social services or whichever department your council has for care for elderly. My DM had a call alarm which she could press (round her neck) if she was worried, fell or something was wrong. She also had a key safe box at the door and services such as GP, District Nurses, family etc knew the number to gain access in case of falls. Could you perhaps arrange a visit from elderly care to explore these options. You sound very independent at the moment but these are small non invasive things that may give you reassurance. Hope you enjoyed Christmas.

I would feel hurt, I feel they are all selfish, pity you didn't sell the house.

Sorry, I came late to this thread.
Delighted you are sorted!
Merry Christmas

It might be worth checking the signal as obviously you are able to come online here - presumably if you have no phone signal, something else (internet) is working so you can undoubtedly make a WhatsApp call.

Here's a signal checker;
www.signalchecker.co.uk/

Maybe the phone you are using is 3G?

Housecraftandcommunitystudies

I have a tiny cross body bag that my phone just fits in and when I go down stairs at night or I have to take the bin out in slippy weather always have it on.

My mother-in-law does this. She is 100 and it gives her the security she needs.
She uses it nearly all the time both inside and outside, even taking it to the bathroom and having it very close when she showers. It's a great idea.
Even in areas where the signal isn't great you can generally get a phone to connect after a few goes. I don't know how long it is since you tried to make a mobile phone call but things have really improved over the last few years.
Please try this before they go away.

Macadia

chicken

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies to my post.
I have now told my DD that I feel vulnerable because of potential falls and so will not be taking on the responsibility of the cats. I shall take the advice of carrying a mobile phone which I can keep in a bum-bag. OH would never consider a hotel stay, and I don't enjoy "enforced jollity" as in communal Christmas events, but I have found a lady who delivers Christmas dinners which will give me a nice day free of cooking.
I like the sound of Care Calls and will investigate that.
I must stress that, in spite of my age, I am completely independent and need no care from family or others, but do appreciate having family around just in case. In emergency, I would call 111 for medical events or trusted workmen that I know for practical issues.

This is GN at it's best. People helping people.

Totally agree Macadia. Enjoy a stress free and happy Christmas chicken. 😊

My daughter has two elderly cats. She enjoys up to a week away with a special feeder that 'delivers' a set amount of dried food at set times, Even has a recording of her voice talking to her 'boys' each time a delivery is made.
she has found that her 'boys' find this much less disruptive than having someone come into the house to fee them. Obviously they have a cat flap and a water fountain.

If an alarm doesn't work does a mobile ??
If it does get a small cross body bag and pop it in there so it's on you at all times maybe cumbersome but necessary if you have a fall you can call an ambulance anyway it's a shame they haven't made your welfare a priority hope you find a solution or maybe have carer/helper to pop in each day to assist and check up on you

chicken

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies to my post.
I have now told my DD that I feel vulnerable because of potential falls and so will not be taking on the responsibility of the cats. I shall take the advice of carrying a mobile phone which I can keep in a bum-bag. OH would never consider a hotel stay, and I don't enjoy "enforced jollity" as in communal Christmas events, but I have found a lady who delivers Christmas dinners which will give me a nice day free of cooking.
I like the sound of Care Calls and will investigate that.
I must stress that, in spite of my age, I am completely independent and need no care from family or others, but do appreciate having family around just in case. In emergency, I would call 111 for medical events or trusted workmen that I know for practical issues.

This is GN at it's best. People helping people.

Tell them straight you are not looking after the cats so tell them to make arrangements for them don’t give in.

Carers?
Big Whistle - how big are these woods? If you can’t get a signal!

Sometimes you have to explain to people what you need because they are wrapped up in their own lives I'm afraid

*recovered.

This is wrong on so many levels, especially at Christmas. You have been so very generous to your family and they are taking advantage of you. If they want a winter holiday, they could go in the February half term and make arrangements for carers to make sure you and your husband are ok. My husband and I only have my mother left out of our parents and, while she is amazing for her age (and has far better hearing than l do), she is still nearly 83 and tires very easily. My sister and I would never leave her out of any family celebrations. This time, she is spending Christmas with my sister and her family and New Year with us. My Dad had his 77th birthday in October, 2017. At the end of November, he fell and broke his hip. He never truly , by the following Easter, was diagnosed with lung cancer. He died on July 15th 2018. You never know what lies ahead and every precious moment spent with elderly parents is a bonus. As it happens, I have a big birthday next Friday. In normal years, I would go out for a meal, often just with my husband. This time, because it is a special birthday, I am having a small afternoon tea party with family. My mother will be staying with us, of course, but my closest cousin, who is more like a sister than a cousin, will be bringing my uncle. My aunt died earlier in the year. I am, hopefully, not virtue signalling, I enjoy their company and want to make sure they are well. Your daughter does not realise just how fortunate she is to still have both her parents. You have looked after her all your life and now it is time she does the same for you.

chicken

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies to my post.
I have now told my DD that I feel vulnerable because of potential falls and so will not be taking on the responsibility of the cats. I shall take the advice of carrying a mobile phone which I can keep in a bum-bag. OH would never consider a hotel stay, and I don't enjoy "enforced jollity" as in communal Christmas events, but I have found a lady who delivers Christmas dinners which will give me a nice day free of cooking.
I like the sound of Care Calls and will investigate that.
I must stress that, in spite of my age, I am completely independent and need no care from family or others, but do appreciate having family around just in case. In emergency, I would call 111 for medical events or trusted workmen that I know for practical issues.

Well done, you can look forward to and enjoy your Christmas now 🎄

First off tell your DD you are unable to look after the pets, they are not your responsibility, they need to get someone else to do it.
Secondly you can always carry your phone with you when up and about.
Thirdly your DD and her family also have a life of their own, so get a friend or caring company to check on you a couple of times a day whilst they are away.
I have falls due to Parkinsons but I do not expect my family to be at my beck and call all the time. It is my choose to live independently, not theirs. You need help with husband and you so go out and get it.
Sorry to be so blunt. I hope you get the help you need. Discuss worries with DD as she may have already made plans to ensure you get the help.

The OP is continuously saying that she does not have any care from her family, they are simply not used to considering the parents needs. I agree Xmas is special and it seems harsh to all go away, but OP says herself she does not enjoy a forced jolly. I think the OP is doing right as we should all do, get a plan B in place for herself and her husband but of course tell the children the cats are their problem. Sounds like they have accepted that anyway. I am sure the family considers themself very lucky to live how they do, but you could not expect them never to go out together, just in case. It is up to them all to sit down if the time has come for the parents to have support needs and eventually care. Therefore a plan B is essential.

I am absolutely astonished by the lack of care and compassion being shown to Chicken and her OH by her family. Yes, lots of practical suggestions made regarding managing the situation physically which are potentially workable but, to me, they are being abandoned. This is clearly neglect and potentially elder abuse. What happened to family loyalty and a duty of care? What is happening to society?

My DD has a "rotating cat feeder" when she goes away for a couple of days. We joke about the cat spinning round on the floor! If she is away longer she employs a "cat sitter" who is brilliant - and far cheaper than the cattery (which will probably be fully booked over Christmas by now.

Whilst I understand where other posters are coming from re the insensitivity of the rest of the family for leaving their parents alone, many of us oldies do not have family close by anyway so always have to make their own arrangements for "what if?" situations. This post has reminded me that we need to re-think some of our own situations.

Tell them how you feel. May be get someone to live in to help whilst they are away.

i may be wrong but maybe family didnt really think this through they are used to you being around and with Christmas they think that they are just excited at being away.
1 i understand pendants dont work in some areas can you arrange for your family to ring at certain times throughout day and evening? even if out these days they have mobiles so if they dont get a reply they could ask police to check on you
2 tell them to get a pet feeder or sitter if like we do they have a home sitter for the cats they are kind folk who would keep an eye out or answer a knock on the wall! if you are worcs area quite happy to do it for you
3 would it be financially viable for you to get a carer to pop in to check on you both maybe morning and evening see if you are ok just well they are away

chicken

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies to my post.
I have now told my DD that I feel vulnerable because of potential falls and so will not be taking on the responsibility of the cats. I shall take the advice of carrying a mobile phone which I can keep in a bum-bag. OH would never consider a hotel stay, and I don't enjoy "enforced jollity" as in communal Christmas events, but I have found a lady who delivers Christmas dinners which will give me a nice day free of cooking.
I like the sound of Care Calls and will investigate that.
I must stress that, in spite of my age, I am completely independent and need no care from family or others, but do appreciate having family around just in case. In emergency, I would call 111 for medical events or trusted workmen that I know for practical issues.

I'm glad you told your DD that you won't be looking after the cats.
Finding someone who will deliver Christmas dinners sounds an excellent idea; I know some pubs round here do this.

You sound very capable but it's just as well to have plans in place in case you do need help.

Have a lovely Christmas.