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AIBU

to feel taken for granted?

(64 Posts)
PennyHalfpenny Sat 14-Dec-24 12:47:56

My DD - who lives abroad- recently returned after a visit to us here. I have just gone into her bedroom to vacuum the carpet only to discover a heap of laundry left behind the door. It’s clearly left for me to wash. I feel a bit miffed, she might at the very least have mentioned it. Rant over.

lemsip Sun 15-Dec-24 10:23:43

I bet she forgot it was there in the rush of leaving and would be horrified that you feel as you do!

Poppyred Sun 15-Dec-24 10:18:51

You’re being guilt tripped as well now OP, so sorry.

Aldom Sun 15-Dec-24 10:00:59

Anniebach

My darling elder daughter died seven years ago, oh I long for
her, be thankful your daughter is still with you

As you know already, Annie, my beloved son died in the same way as your daughter. What I would give to pick up his washing.

Maggiemaybe Sun 15-Dec-24 09:44:29

Poppyred

I bet you wish that you hadn’t posted now OP! Everyone jumping down your throat! I’m sure it was just a passing thought….we are all human after all.

Lord above, though, some of the replies! grin Who’d even think of binning perfectly good clothes in any situation, let alone this one? It’s not as if we have to break our backs over the posser and washboard these days, is it?

Hugs for you, Anniebach. thanks

Oreo Sun 15-Dec-24 09:39:38

petal53

It wouldn’t bother me. I’d just wash them.

Same here, can’t see a problem if they’re clothes she leaves here.

Poppyred Sun 15-Dec-24 09:34:01

I bet you wish that you hadn’t posted now OP! Everyone jumping down your throat! I’m sure it was just a passing thought….we are all human after all.

Anniebach Sun 15-Dec-24 09:11:10

My darling elder daughter died seven years ago, oh I long for
her, be thankful your daughter is still with you

Georgesgran Sun 15-Dec-24 09:07:12

Wouldn’t bother me. It’s just what Mums do.

I’ve always done DD2’s laundry and now do DGS2’s as well, aiming for twice a week. I just mix it in with mine. She is disabled, a mum and holds down a stressful job, so if it saves her a job and costs me a few £s in extra energy, so be it.
I’d do DD1’s too, but she has refused the offer many times.

Maya1 Sun 15-Dec-24 08:58:49

It wouldn't bother me at all.

I'm doing my DS washing at the moment as he has only just found a new home after an awful marriage break up. He hopes to get a washing machine in the new year.

I don't mind at all, that's what mum's are for.

Calendargirl Sun 15-Dec-24 08:47:16

Just seen, she lives ‘abroad’, Australia not mentioned!

Apologies, my DD lives in Oz so that’s where my mind wandered to.

Calendargirl Sun 15-Dec-24 08:45:57

I can’t see a problem.

I would expect to do any washing left behind.

I thought at first the clean clothes would have to be sent back to Australia, which was a bit much, but now I see she leaves them here for future use, so no big deal.

Just get over it, a non issue.

No need for a ‘rant’.

RosiesMaw2 Sun 15-Dec-24 08:37:26

With so many of my kids/ grandkids living abroad I d absolutely love a pile of washing in exchange for seeing them

Exactly! Even substituting “away” for “abroad” - it’s what mums do 💝

Curlywhirly Sun 15-Dec-24 08:34:10

Nah, wouldn't bother me in the least! I'm quite happy to wait on my adult children, they have very busy stressful lives and I'm more than happy to help them if I can. They're always grateful and appreciate any help I offer, and to be honest, I gain a lot of pleasure from helping them and their families.

BlueBelle Sun 15-Dec-24 06:21:35

Blimey what a non problem
With so many of my kids/ grandkids living abroad I d absolutely love a pile of washing in exchange for seeing them

It seems a mean thought to me to object to a machine load of your daughters washing I hope you had a nice time with her

Shelflife Sun 15-Dec-24 04:28:34

RosiesMaw, I am with you all the way! Well ' said '.
Don't usually post at this time , having an unusual bad night - can't sleep. Propped up in bed with hot milk.

Shelflife Sun 15-Dec-24 04:20:57

Don't think it would bother me , I would wash them , iron if necessary and leave in wardrobe in anticipation of her next visit. No problem at all for me , I would just be happy that she wanted to visit me - and no I am not a walk over I am her Mum .

Luminance Sat 14-Dec-24 21:17:51

I would have left the pile of washing where it was situated and asked later if she had need of some washing done. I make no assumptions over piles of washing.

paddyann54 Sat 14-Dec-24 21:06:04

My sons washing m/c died 6 weeks ago and the insurance company have dragged their heels so I,ve had bags of washing dropped off every two days .I,m always happy to help hopefully they know that .They have 3 daughters the youngest just 7 months.I,ve often done the same for my daughter who suffers badly from chronic health disorders Ithought that’s what mums did!

petal53 Sat 14-Dec-24 20:30:39

It wouldn’t bother me. I’d just wash them.

Aldom Sat 14-Dec-24 18:56:16

It would not have occurred to me to be even a teeny bit annoyed. Your daughter has trust in you and feels safe in leaving her washing. Just be glad.

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Sat 14-Dec-24 18:45:57

Storm in a teacup.

RosiesMaw2 Sat 14-Dec-24 18:25:55

What -with some honourable exceptions- a miserable thread!
I’m far from perfect but I’d happily do a load of washing for the D’s, in fact I often suggest they bring one especially the younger two with little ones. I’ve got the machine space, the drying space and it’s no sweat to turn a washing machine on!
She clearly forgot to say anything , at least I’d rather think that than that you have a grudging relationship. If the clothes stay at your house for when she’s visiting why wouldn’t you wash them?
As for chucking them or leaving them to fester, as some people have suggested, well you may have scored a point but if that is the yardstick, no wonder so many GNs have estrangement issues.
Remember Christ’s exhortation to “Give and not count the cost” ? That’s what being a mum is all about IMHO.

Casdon Sat 14-Dec-24 17:18:55

I think I’d just shrug my shoulders and not worry about it PennyHalfpenny, I’m sure there was no bad intent on your daughter’s part - she probably just forgot, mine would, anyway.

Jeanathome Sat 14-Dec-24 17:18:50

Perhaps she assumed it was her own personal space and forgot to load the washing machine.

Oopsadaisy1 Sat 14-Dec-24 17:14:37

MzOops and the GCs always leave their washing here, but they do put it in the laundry bin.

I just wash and iron it and it’s clean for them when they next visit, which will be this Christmas yaaaay.