to feel taken for granted?

So, is it the bed linen and towels that she used or her own clothes? If it's the bed linen, then at last she stripped it for you, but how has she left her clothes behind? Does she contemplate you laundering them and posting them back? That would be a no from me but if she thinks they will be clean and pressed waiting for her next visit, if she were mine they would be in the bin......now!

That’s easy. Leave it there and let her deal with it. She’s grown up and not your job to do her laundry

I agree with Astitchintime if the laundry consists of her clothes, I would bin them.

The OP's daughter lives abroad Rosieb and was visiting.

If they are behind the door, could she have forgotten they were there? I can't imagine she expects you to send her clothes to another country. If it is bed linen, then I would think she was trying to be helpful. Why not message her and tell her she's left a pile of clothes behind, in case she's missing them?

If she has gone back to her home abroad the washing can’t be left on the floor. I would say something about it to her hoping she will clear up next time. You w ere right to be annoyed but hope you feel better now.

I would have just laughed and been very happy my DD had visited. (My son lives in the US and when he visits I wait on him hand and foot and love every minute of being able to spoil him).
I think it’s normal for adult children to go into teenager mode when they come home.
I’m grateful mine still want to.

It’s a mean thing to do. She could at least have told you if it was bedding, towels etc. better still she could have put them in the washer. Honestly some people are just plain rude and entitled!

silverlining48

If she has gone back to her home abroad the washing can’t be left on the floor. I would say something about it to her hoping she will clear up next time. You w ere right to be annoyed but hope you feel better now.

Thanks fellow grans, I do feel better. She didn’t strip the bed (she offered though), but the clothes on the floor are from those she leaves here. I do her laundry when she’s staying here, just felt a bit cross she didn’t mention that she’d left more for me to do without mentioning it. I can guess what you’re thinking … hmm

When I stay in my sister-in-law’s house, I always strip the beds and leave them on the floor. I take my own towels .

Oops - too many mentions!

janeainsworth

I would have just laughed and been very happy my DD had visited. (My son lives in the US and when he visits I wait on him hand and foot and love every minute of being able to spoil him).
I think it’s normal for adult children to go into teenager mode when they come home.
I’m grateful mine still want to.

Yes, it’s like that really - I love her dearly and she’s a great person in many ways. I won’t get this out of proportion.

she's reverted to teenagehood again hasn't she.. obviously feels very safe and loved at home..

MzOops and the GCs always leave their washing here, but they do put it in the laundry bin.

I just wash and iron it and it’s clean for them when they next visit, which will be this Christmas yaaaay.

Perhaps she assumed it was her own personal space and forgot to load the washing machine.

I think I’d just shrug my shoulders and not worry about it PennyHalfpenny, I’m sure there was no bad intent on your daughter’s part - she probably just forgot, mine would, anyway.

What -with some honourable exceptions- a miserable thread!
I’m far from perfect but I’d happily do a load of washing for the D’s, in fact I often suggest they bring one especially the younger two with little ones. I’ve got the machine space, the drying space and it’s no sweat to turn a washing machine on!
She clearly forgot to say anything , at least I’d rather think that than that you have a grudging relationship. If the clothes stay at your house for when she’s visiting why wouldn’t you wash them?
As for chucking them or leaving them to fester, as some people have suggested, well you may have scored a point but if that is the yardstick, no wonder so many GNs have estrangement issues.
Remember Christ’s exhortation to “Give and not count the cost” ? That’s what being a mum is all about IMHO.

Storm in a teacup.

It would not have occurred to me to be even a teeny bit annoyed. Your daughter has trust in you and feels safe in leaving her washing. Just be glad.

It wouldn’t bother me. I’d just wash them.

My sons washing m/c died 6 weeks ago and the insurance company have dragged their heels so I,ve had bags of washing dropped off every two days .I,m always happy to help hopefully they know that .They have 3 daughters the youngest just 7 months.I,ve often done the same for my daughter who suffers badly from chronic health disorders Ithought that’s what mums did!

I would have left the pile of washing where it was situated and asked later if she had need of some washing done. I make no assumptions over piles of washing.

Don't think it would bother me , I would wash them , iron if necessary and leave in wardrobe in anticipation of her next visit. No problem at all for me , I would just be happy that she wanted to visit me - and no I am not a walk over I am her Mum .

RosiesMaw, I am with you all the way! Well ' said '.
Don't usually post at this time , having an unusual bad night - can't sleep. Propped up in bed with hot milk.

Blimey what a non problem
With so many of my kids/ grandkids living abroad I d absolutely love a pile of washing in exchange for seeing them

It seems a mean thought to me to object to a machine load of your daughters washing I hope you had a nice time with her