My naughty half sister

I have this conversation sometimes with people in real life, and had it today.

The question is, "who do you feel guilty to"?

Yourself, her, God, who?

Babs03 that’s a nice idea. Thanks
All comments really appreciated as it was starting to get me down.

As has been said her DH should be responsible for her, no need for you to feel beholden by a promise made to your parents, get on with your life and call your sister to say you hope she is doing alright or order flowers for her when she gets home.
No need to beat yourself up over it.
❤️🙏🏾

I’m asking advice because I’m a sensitive soul and feel guilty not helping out even though I know she’s a user. I get in a state if we argue and she’s the kind to argue with herself. Her best friend is a nice single lady who travels the country alone and keeps in touch with me by old fashioned email. She promised to visit her too over the last few years including this year but backed off because of the complications put in her way.

If her husband is still alive, she is his responsibility, not yours, no matter what you “ promised” to your parents. If she needs carers, she needs carers. This is not something you can do, nor should you.
I am still not clear what you are asking advice on.
Permission not to get involved? Granted.

Catterygirl
Break the promis. I don’t think your parents would blame you.

It's not your job to look after her. Your parents were in the wrong to force such a promise. It sounds as though a care package is being put in place for her to help both her and her husband so it's not as if you are actually needed in the "looking after" department.

She messaged me with her latest news. She is paralysed in the broken leg but still can’t understand why they are keeping her in hospital so long. Before this happened she was at home with her husband as her carer. Now the general opinion is she requires 4 carers a day before releasing her from hospital. Thank you for your comments so far. Our parents made me promise I would look after her even though I am 10 years older in my seventies.

Op, I am not sure what point you are trying to make.

My daughters hospital let her out for the day or at least a few hours in between her treatments and have been doing for many years. She has come home for parties when she was younger and for rehearsals now. On one occasion she was allowed home for 8 hours on her birthday.

How do you know how she is behaving?

I m puzzled as well hospitals don’t allow you out for the day or playing loud music or is it a convalescence home ?

I’m puzzled too, having a broken leg unless she lives alone and is frail isn’t a reason to be kept in hospital.As for being allowed out to attend a lunch club, never heard anything like it.
Playing loud Christmas music and annoying other patients, she sounds like a real pain in the neck.
If she isn’t kind to you then no need to put yourself out to visit.

Catterygirl, are we given to understand that your half sister now wants you to visit her or is making other demands on your time? You don't say anything specific in your OP.

I am also puzzled as to why she has been kept in hospital with a broken leg - aren't patients usually discharged with either a cast or fixater in place?

If she wasn't your sister, would you have picked her for a friend?

Is she making demands of you now?
If not, let her be.

Yes, let her carry on causing chaos.
You are not your sister's keeper.

You are not your sister’s keeper.
If her behaviour in hospital is causing problems that’s for them to deal with.
Is she making demands of you now?
If not, let her be.
If so and they are unreasonable, say so.

Distance is your friend Cattergirl. Imagine living next door…

A spoiled ‘old’ brat 😡

What does your sister want?

Just trying to understand. (Sorry if I'm not "getting" it.)