My naughty half sister

What does your sister want?

Just trying to understand. (Sorry if I'm not "getting" it.)

A spoiled ‘old’ brat 😡

Distance is your friend Cattergirl. Imagine living next door…

You are not your sister’s keeper.
If her behaviour in hospital is causing problems that’s for them to deal with.
Is she making demands of you now?
If not, let her be.
If so and they are unreasonable, say so.

If she wasn't your sister, would you have picked her for a friend?

Is she making demands of you now?
If not, let her be.

Yes, let her carry on causing chaos.
You are not your sister's keeper.

Catterygirl, are we given to understand that your half sister now wants you to visit her or is making other demands on your time? You don't say anything specific in your OP.

I am also puzzled as to why she has been kept in hospital with a broken leg - aren't patients usually discharged with either a cast or fixater in place?

I’m puzzled too, having a broken leg unless she lives alone and is frail isn’t a reason to be kept in hospital.As for being allowed out to attend a lunch club, never heard anything like it.
Playing loud Christmas music and annoying other patients, she sounds like a real pain in the neck.
If she isn’t kind to you then no need to put yourself out to visit.

I m puzzled as well hospitals don’t allow you out for the day or playing loud music or is it a convalescence home ?

How do you know how she is behaving?

My daughters hospital let her out for the day or at least a few hours in between her treatments and have been doing for many years. She has come home for parties when she was younger and for rehearsals now. On one occasion she was allowed home for 8 hours on her birthday.

Op, I am not sure what point you are trying to make.

She messaged me with her latest news. She is paralysed in the broken leg but still can’t understand why they are keeping her in hospital so long. Before this happened she was at home with her husband as her carer. Now the general opinion is she requires 4 carers a day before releasing her from hospital. Thank you for your comments so far. Our parents made me promise I would look after her even though I am 10 years older in my seventies.

It's not your job to look after her. Your parents were in the wrong to force such a promise. It sounds as though a care package is being put in place for her to help both her and her husband so it's not as if you are actually needed in the "looking after" department.

Catterygirl
Break the promis. I don’t think your parents would blame you.

If her husband is still alive, she is his responsibility, not yours, no matter what you “ promised” to your parents. If she needs carers, she needs carers. This is not something you can do, nor should you.
I am still not clear what you are asking advice on.
Permission not to get involved? Granted.

I’m asking advice because I’m a sensitive soul and feel guilty not helping out even though I know she’s a user. I get in a state if we argue and she’s the kind to argue with herself. Her best friend is a nice single lady who travels the country alone and keeps in touch with me by old fashioned email. She promised to visit her too over the last few years including this year but backed off because of the complications put in her way.

As has been said her DH should be responsible for her, no need for you to feel beholden by a promise made to your parents, get on with your life and call your sister to say you hope she is doing alright or order flowers for her when she gets home.
No need to beat yourself up over it.
❤️🙏🏾

Babs03 that’s a nice idea. Thanks
All comments really appreciated as it was starting to get me down.

I have this conversation sometimes with people in real life, and had it today.

The question is, "who do you feel guilty to"?

Yourself, her, God, who?

Catterygirl

She messaged me with her latest news. She is paralysed in the broken leg but still can’t understand why they are keeping her in hospital so long. Before this happened she was at home with her husband as her carer. Now the general opinion is she requires 4 carers a day before releasing her from hospital. Thank you for your comments so far. Our parents made me promise I would look after her even though I am 10 years older in my seventies.

Our parents made me promise I would look after her even though I am 10 years older in my seventies.

That wasn't very fair, if you don't mind me saying.
If she was a minor when your parents died, then I can understand that but if she was an adult she's responsible for her own behaviour.

We hereby give you permission to break that promise.

Sugned: The Gransnetters

🙏 Sorry Catterygirl's parents.

Oh thank you lovely ladies. I can feel my shoulders loosening up and dropping. I studied psychotherapy and it’s time to put it to good use.

Catterygirl your sister is not your responsibility. Live you own life to the full and let her get on with hers .

Be happy and not give her a second thought . She has plenty of help. She sounds one of those me me me people.

Were you sound loving and giving so give and love those that care about you and put yourself first. ⛄

Sorry, your parents should not have asked that of you" You are not the problem , she is, her poor husband is stuck with her, you don't have to be. Send her a message, Happy Christmas and be in touch New Year.I'm afraid I had to distance from someone I love very much but was so demanding and entitled I ended up in hospital and was told to start putting myself first. It gets easier and I don't feel guilt.