Is it so hard to say Thank you?

mabon1

I have not given one of my grandsons a gift this year, as he did not thank me for a generous sum £200 I gave his first born and many gifts too. He told me " On this occasion will accept the gifts but future you must ask us what we want for the baby"

What an appalling thing to say after being so generous. I wouldn’t buy him anything ever again. Entitled and shocking nanners.

My lovely friends got baby gifts for my new grandchild and my daughter-in-law seemed irritated and didn't understand why they had given them. My son actually wrote the thanks. It's such a quick thing to say why do people find it so difficult you just accept somebody giving you something you don't have to question it., the other word is sorry that's a whole different topic. A conservative politician said this morning it shows weakness if you say sorry.. does this mean that politicians have permission to lie!!

That politician is talking rubbish. It does not show weakness to say sorry, rather the reverse - it shows strength, as it’s not always easy to say sorry.

'Gilly33', failure to thank me for a wonderful gift like that would definitely result in no further presents, no matter who it upset! How rude and ungrateful can you get? This sort of behaviour really makes me cross, and there is no need for it. I do think a lot of it tends to be down to to the failure of parents to teach their kids to say thank you, as I know that I'm more responsible for teaching our grandchildren good manners than their own parents. It seems to me that these days people have children, but so many of them are too lazy to actually teach them the important things about life, choosing to leave it all to others. A big example of this is the number of kids starting school these days who haven't been toilet trained. I find this quite disgusting, and while there are children who struggle with this due to physical problems, there is NO excuse for not teaching your child how to use the toilet and clean themselves properly. Sorry, I'll get off my soapbox now ladies, lol.

I wonder if us oldies are simply "old fashioned" in our opinion that good manners are important? I'm lucky (or did I bring my DDs up well?) that both of them, plus hubbies and kiddies, thank me for things - albeit in a text or Whatsapp message. But both DDs and families are fairly well off so now we have online shopping perhaps buying their own stuff has become the norm? We must all remember getting chocs, books, smelly stuff etc and thinking it was wonderful but nowadays maybe even small kiddies have buying preferences and don't actually want our choices. Though I would still hope for a thank you, especially with gifts of money.

Also todays children are far busier with their lives than we were. My weekends were often spent visiting my aunts, uncles and grandparents (some of them several bus rides away) but my GC's lives are full of sport, dancing, piano lessons etc. They barely have a spare minute for family stuff.

My son has refused to buy his niece and nephew anything for Xmas as they never thank him. Never acknowledge anything he gives them or even wish him Happy Xmas or birthday. At 16 and 12 they should know better. They are the same with us never say thanks but it's our DGC so we still buy gifts.

I spent Christmas and Boxing day with my daughter, her partner and his relations. Under strict instructions to send a text to say I had safely returned home, half hour journey, I opened my phone and there were several messages from all the adult participants, everyone thanking everyone else, me included, for a wonderful time, clever gifts and fabulous food.
So some of us do it.

I don't think it's everyone.
My daughter was on the phone yesterday and called one of her son's over to speak to me - he's 17 and it transpired it was to say "thank you" for his Christmas present - but amusingly he'd already texted me on Christmas Day to say thanks...
So had his brother.

On the other hand I know my mother-in-law put money into my daughter-in-law's bank account for the great-grandchildren.
She had a note of thanks in her Christmas card saying that the money had been put in the children's bank accounts.
It was obviously a thank you, and nicely written etc - but not really from the children... do they even know about it I wonder?

It's not quite the same as it once was - coins in your hand. As a child I enjoyed counting them. It was something to be excited about.

My DS sends a video of the GC saying thank you to everyone who sends presents. My 9 year old rang me herself this year to thank me.

Yes my tween aged granddaughters texted from the car on way home from visiting to say thankyou for cash and “loved” the b/day and Xmas cards too!
Very gratifying😻

Unfortunately I thank you is becoming a thing of the past. I have 6 grandchildren from 2 children. One set of 4 will say thank you if a gift is given personally, but if it's money sent by bank transfer or pushed through their door, then I hear nothing. the other two always send either a thank you text or phone.

I totally agree that the least you can expect is a thank you.

I was at a relatives home on Christmas Day. These are not my grandkids but it happens every year.

Gifts were ripped apart, paper slung on the floor. There were no thank yous. Two teenagers had asked for cash and collected £400+. They then went upstairs and didn’t surface til the turkey was on the table. All the paper/wrapping/cards just left where they dropped.

Later in the evening, before I left, there was a “let’s all look for” a gift card that’d been presumably list to the trash and a ten year old had lost some money but wasn’t that bothered as it was “only” £20. My own gift to them? No thank you. No recognition whatsoever as it was just shower gel/body spray.

For heaven’s sake, stop buying so many presents all of you.

It’s excruciating to read the guilt trips so many of you are on.

It’s disgraceful the way some of our nearest and dearest treat us and we shouldn’t allow it.

Greciangirl

For heaven’s sake, stop buying so many presents all of you.

It’s excruciating to read the guilt trips so many of you are on.

It’s disgraceful the way some of our nearest and dearest treat us and we shouldn’t allow it.

1) no guilt trips here
2) I enjoy choosing and buying presents for those I love, like, esteem.
3) I’m not exactly complaining about “nearest and dearest” just manners in general.
That includes going for the jugular when there’s a post somebody disagrees with!

It's almost as though bothering to be polite is seen as a weakness these days - or it suggests that you've got too much time on your hands! Not saying thank you fits into the same category as not turning up when they say they will (or even at all!), promising to call you back and then permanently "forgetting", promising to let someone have a piece of information (a recipe, someone's name/address, etc) but just letting it slide for weeks until it would look odd to actually do it. Actually, I think emails and texts are partly to blame for this - the idea being that we all have a perpetually bursting In-Box, and therefore some things just get missed (so we needn't actually bother at all, right?). And then there's all the time we just have to spend sending each other pictures of our children/pets/lunch and wasting precious minutes tapping "LOL" into our phones in reply - how can we possibly be expected to find enough time to make a proper communication with anyone...?

While most of our parents, and many of us persisted in having the kids write or phone to thank folks for gifts, some of our kids and g'kids seem not to want to be bothered~~~

Some these days spend their time being 'friends' with their children rather than parenting.

I remember reading a little story/joke years ago about some grandmothers complaining that the kids never bother thanking them for the gifts they have sent.
One grandmother said that they not only thank her but they come over to her house to do it!
The others were amazed.....
This grandmother said, "I send them cheques, but always 'forget' to sign them."

LOLLOLOLOL

I say say thank you for everything. It's how I was brought up. But nowdays it doesn't seem important for people anymore. Very disappointing, doesn't matter whether it's a small or large gift or visiting folk for a meal I always thank at the time and send a message the next day, it's not hard.

I must be fortunate, thanks from family, friends, even the bin men and postie!

We have sent money to nephews for birthdays and Christmas, and not had a thank you from any of them. This year I sent money as usual, and a larger sum to one who had a special birthday close to Christmas. The cheques have been cashed, but not a single acknowledgement. I am done. I agree completely about the joy of giving, so next year I will give that money to an animal charity.

I thought it was just me. I have knitted items as presents for people and one of them never got in touch. I guess they didn’t like the specially made jumper in their favourite colour! It really has peed me off!!! A text takes no time at all.

On the other hand I know my mother-in-law put money into my daughter-in-law's bank account for the great-grandchildren.
She had a note of thanks in her Christmas card saying that the money had been put in the children's bank accounts.
It was obviously a thank you, and nicely written etc - but not really from the children... do they even know about it I wonder?

NotSpaghetti I wonder if the children have so many presents that their mum decided the money would be best saved for now?

How terribly gracious of him to accept cash and gifts. The choice of the word " must" kicks off my rebel instinct ..I will not be dictated too, rather not give gifts.

I agree completely about the joy of giving, so next year I will give that money to an animal charity.

My son one year bought us all a "gift" through Oxfam.
The charity received the money and we all received a fridge magnet with a picture of what he'd donated towards on our behalf.

Mine was a quantity of condoms, to help with the fight against AIDS... 🤦

Yes, ‘thank you’ seems a forgotten phrase by many.

I probably over use it.

Always thank shop assistants, bus drivers, staff on reception as I leave the swimming pool…..

It’s noticeable on tv programmes when children are given something, the wrapping paper is ripped off but you rarely hear a ‘thank you’.

The donor smiles proudly and never seems bothered by the lack of manners.