Rejected by hairdresser

Ah, but the hair police, who do not approve of women colouring their hair, do not want to know this. They want to know that we all have horrible dull frizzled hair and terrible haircuts

Naturally, when we say we don't, they do not believe us. None so blind as those who are determind not to see.

My hair gets roots done and ends tidied six weekly. It’s in really good health

Farzanah

I fail to see how dyeing does not damage hair. For permanent colour the application of dye (with chemicals) swells and opens up the protective hair cuticle (which maintains hydration and flexibility).

After care then involves regular use of hair products to keep the damaged cuticle layer smooth and stop the colour leaching out.

The fact that you fail to see how dying your hair does not damage it, doesn't mean that that happens.

In my case my hair seems undamaged, certainly my hairdresser can see no damage, I assume because I dye my hair infrequently and do not use a hairdryer, so do not frazzle my hair with heat.

I let my hair go to its natural grey for 2 years. I became increasingly fed up and felt grey all over. I’m now a blond for the first time in my life - I’m liking it

I fail to see how dyeing does not damage hair. For permanent colour the application of dye (with chemicals) swells and opens up the protective hair cuticle (which maintains hydration and flexibility).

After care then involves regular use of hair products to keep the damaged cuticle layer smooth and stop the colour leaching out.

Nansnet

M0nica

Very little faff to dying your hair. Takes half an hour every 3 or 4 months.

I wish it was only every 3 or 4 months ... mine needs doing every 3 or 4 weeks!

At that point I would let nature take its course.

M0nica

Very little faff to dying your hair. Takes half an hour every 3 or 4 months.

I wish it was only every 3 or 4 months ... mine needs doing every 3 or 4 weeks!

Summerlove

Nansnet

Summerlove, it's not just older people who have problems with porous hair. Many young people, who dye their hair regularly have the same issues. Why don't you go back to the salon and ask what they CAN do to help your recover and regain a good condition so that you will be able to have your hair coloured without having bad results. I'm sure they can recommend some great hair treatments to help condition your hair back to being healthy, so why not treat yourself to that instead for the time being?

Where did I say only older people have porous hair?

Sorry, Summerlove, a mere accident ... that was meant to say 'SunnySusie', but your name was in the quote above my post and I accidentally typed your name instead!

Madmeg my back story is slightly different, but my reaction to it is similar to yours. I use a colour to make the colour of my hair uniform. I find because of the mix of grey/white and colour areas in my natural hair, the unifying colour is subtly different depending what original coloured hair it is covering,, which gives me the natural variation in colour most people have.

I too find the colour lasts far more than 24 washes.. Your last sentence would be one I share.

Very sorry to hear this. I would just try a different salon!

I m one of the people Monica calls lucky and I suppose I am Thank you dad my dad was blond and just went fairer as he got older He had a lovely head of hair till the day he died at 92
I had blonde hair that also went lighter and lighter to a fairly even white/silver, it’s hard to judge the actual colour on yourself but that’s what others tell me, it’s still thick too I wear it short in a pixie style a bit spiky and I like my hair one of my better features …. other parts of me I don’t like so much 😀
I ve never ever coloured it just have it cut every 5/6 weeks for which I pay £18
I think the hairdresser did you a favour after all they know what they are talking about they are the experts

I take after my dear late Dad who went "multi-coloured" in his early 20s - ginger, blond and mucky grey. He was known to his colleagues as "the old fella". By the time they were all approaching retirement, dad's hair was smarter than all the others but he was still called "the old fella"!

I followed suit in my forties with similar "multi-coloured" hair and have always used Clairol semi-permanent Medium Ash Blonde. It does not come out anything like as light or boring as the picture on the box, but picks out the red elements and results in a pleasant warm shade. It isn't quite even like my natural colour but covers the increasing grey in the same way. If I don't colour it, the natural shade is now a dull dirty-looking grey. Each treatment lasts far longer than the 24 washes the box suggests. Because it is "multi-coloured" no-one really notices when it starts to fade, except it isn't quite as warm looking.

I'll stick with that as long as possible. It's cheap and easy and to me looks pretty natural.

My hairdresser uses organic dyes. It's much better for my hair and scalp.

Years ago before I went white- haired I had my hair coloured at the local salon. My hair was so porous it came out bright orange. I had to hide the orange with a home semi permanent in a dark ash brown . After dark semi permanent no longer needed I went natural grey and then white with no regrets.

Well I used to have copper coloured hair, not the bright ginger but the copper colour. Never wore pinks with that colouring. But I have now got what I think is quite good looking white hair. As i am yorkshire and dont like to waste money, but nor do like to see hair with differnt coloured roots, I chose to let it go white, have it very well cut and stick to it. Firstly think of the money I save and the time! My hair looks clean and a good shape, I swim quite a lot and so want it to have a good shape at the end of it. My back is bad and can be fine one day and bad another, so I make no appointments, but the good hairdresser I go to , is fine with me popping in or ringing up when it needs cutting, and we both win. She can tell me when she has a free time and I just go down and fit in with her. Result is that I get a good haircut, dont waste money and am happy knowing that it looks clean and well shaped,. That way what money I save is used for good things like travelling or meeting friends or whateve. You choose your priorities and I am happy with my choice, Saving time, money and effort is a good balance for me. If you just add up what you might spend in a year you might be surprised , not to mention the time spent sitting in the hairdressers. If you really like doing that then look around to see someone s hair that you admire , and ask them where they go and give the a try.

I imagine some mobile hairdressers don’t keep up to date with courses and latest developments though, and their knowledge and techniques haven’t moved on since they worked in a salon? How do you tell the difference? Presumably most look after older, housebound clients who won’t be looking for the latest cutting and colouring techniques?

I've been a mobile hairdresser at certain time of my life. I am trained and have worked in 'top' salons for a long long time. Not all mobile hairdressers are incompetent. By recommendation is a good way to find a decent stylist. Always cheaper as there are no salon overheads. Not because we do a bad job. 😊

I've been a hairdresser for 30+ years and I'm so sorry this has upset you. Did the hairdresser explain why your hair may be porous and what options there are to get the colour you like, plus healthy beautiful hair. I'm very grey with natural dark hair and I colour it a natural shade of blonde. If you'd like me answer any questions or explain why they wouldn't colour your hair let me know.. take care

A lot of my hair is black with some grey mixed in there. My brother who is younger than me, his hair is fully grey. But I won't mind having fully grey hair. It's only vanity to want otherwise.

SunnySusie

I agree MOnica that 'reject' is a bit strong for a hairdressing issue, but I was really surprised how much it upset me. Yes its trivial in the grand scheme of things, but it made me feel really old - and in the season where I tend to depression, quite down in the dumps. My volunteering roles are all front facing, customer service, reception type jobs and I really try to look presentable and take great care with my clothing, make up and hair. Its a good incentive for me and I have always said I dont want to embrace the grey.

I fully understand why you were upset.

I have found (aged 65) that people in various places such as the optician, the podiatrist and others have started commenting rather patronisingly about how I am 'stylish'. I'm sure they mean well, but it's obvious that they have pulled back from sago 'for your age' . I'd put a pound to a penny that they don't say the same to 30 year old clients. The assistant in the opticians even said 'You've still got your little style, haven't you?' and that was ages ago - I was probably in my 50s. I wasn't amused.

I don't have grey hair (neither does my mother, and she's nearly 90) but I do have blonde and copper highlights in my mouse coloured hair, which cheers it up and (I think) brightens my overall 'look'.

As for rejection - when I was about 20, I went to a fancy city centre salon which was trendy and expensive. I felt very grown-up . I remember once when a junior came to the stylist who was cutting my hair and saying 'Mrs X is asking for an appointment?' The stylist said 'No, not on Saturday. I'll see her if she can do Tuesday morning.' When the junior had gone, he told me that they kept Saturdays for people like me who were good for the image of the salon.

I'm ashamed to say I was flattered, and told my mum, expecting her to congratulate me on my apparent sophistication and desirability as a client. She didn't - she pointed out that I would be Mrs X's age one day, and how would I feel to be treated like that? She was right, of course.

Now I am probably older than Mrs X, I'm less keen on the idea of youth being the main criteria for acceptability. I 'like my little style' (😡) and if Mrs X is still with us and reading this, please accept my heartfelt apologies. The arrogance of youth, eh?

(Also, my daughter had a disaster with her hair when the salon didn't do a strand test, and she was only about 20. It took years to grow out, so it's worth having one done and abiding by the results.)

Grams2five

I’d see if you could find a home stylist. While I understand the Salian reasoning I would have been rather upset too. I don’t pretend that dying my greys makes me appear any younger really but it is the way I prefer to see myself.

No, unless you don’t care if your hair starts to break and even fall out. Take the advice of a good salon which is concerned about the health and appearance of your hair and its good reputation rather than using a home stylist with lesser qualifications, expertise and knowledge.

I’d see if you could find a home stylist. While I understand the Salian reasoning I would have been rather upset too. I don’t pretend that dying my greys makes me appear any younger really but it is the way I prefer to see myself.

What has that post got to do with the original.

I agree.

I'm a little older than you, Witzend, and only have a very few grey hairs - thanks to my parents. My Dad was a little pepper-and-salt when he died at 78, but mostly a lot of pepper!! And he had a full head of hair when he died!

There was a programme on our local radio station a few years back where the presenter claimed that anyone without grey hair by the time they were 60 must have dyed it and looked ridiculous! Had I not been driving at the time, I would have phoned in and told him - yes, a man! - what I thought! I had been looking forward to going grey so that I could dye my hair any colour I wanted, but I'm still a very dark brown, though not the Celtic black of either parent!

Last summer, I went on holiday for a week with family including teenage grandkids. The pact amongst the females was that we would all dye our hair purple for the holiday with a semi-permanent hair colour for dark hair, mostly so that by the beginning of the Autumn term it would have washed out of the girls' hair. (School rules!) I used double the quantity of colourant for double the time stated. The consensus was that no-one could see any difference and I needn't have bothered!