Rejected by hairdresser

Very little faff to dying your hair. Takes half an hour every 3 or 4 months.

I love my silver grey hairs . Used to have a lovely streak at the front but when I had my hair cut short it disappeared. My daughter commented yesterday have lovely and soft my hair is. I only wash it once a week with Clairol essence shiny hair shampoo and conditioner.

I would never dye my hair to much faff.

My aunt had natural dark hair but like silver streaks in it. One day her hairdresser said I won't streak it this time as you have your own silver streaks. 🤣

Summerlove, it's not just older people who have problems with porous hair. Many young people, who dye their hair regularly have the same issues. Why don't you go back to the salon and ask what they CAN do to help your recover and regain a good condition so that you will be able to have your hair coloured without having bad results. I'm sure they can recommend some great hair treatments to help condition your hair back to being healthy, so why not treat yourself to that instead for the time being?

Summerlove

Sounds like they are both trying to protect your hair and their reputation.

Try another less scrupulous salon perhaps?

And then when the hair breaks ( which it will ) you could potentially be bald.
Only you can decide if your vanity is worth it.

I notice that people who extoll grey or white hair are always those who have gone through the tranfer from - whatever colour they were- to all over grey or white in an attractive way and now have a head of silver or white hair.

Unfortunately, for others the transfer is far less attractive and it is easier to even your colour out by making your hair the same colour as the ungrey hair you have than having the brown hair bleached to match the grey.

I use nice n easy on hair, about every 8 months, seems to work fine and my hairdressers said it’s in good condition.

Of course it's "possible to look good with grey hair", many of my friends have grey hair and they look great. One of them has fairly long, thick grey hair with streaks of white, it is fabulous, another has an elfin cut like Judy Dench and it really suits her. I certainly don't have fixed ideas about what ages people, if I had to choose it certainly wouldn't be the colour of their hair!

The best way to poison your body is to use bad hair dye since the fastest way to absorb these chemicals is through your skin. Not for me. I am not ashamed of my age and I am proud of my silver hair. I earned it !

Farzanah

I think dyed hair over 70 can be aging if dark, especially reddish brown. Blond tends to look softer. It’s difficult for hair to look healthy and shiny if constantly dyed.

It’s still possible to look “presentable” without dyed hair, but can take a bit of getting used to if you have coloured it for a long time, and have an entrenched negative vision of what older women look like without dyed hair.

As you get older you lighten the colour of the hair colour you use. I showed my hair dresser a photo of me taken in my 50s , before I started to go grey, and he commented on how dark my original hair colour was.

I come from a family where we go grey very late in life and in a very messy way, from the outside in, so in my 80s while the hair on the crown of my head head has faded in colour a bit, it is still dark brown, while all round the edges it is grey/white.

I have a photo of one of my uncle taken just before he died in his late 80s, and the crown of his hair is still as dark as it ever was, surrounded by all this grey/white hair. It doesn't look good on a man either.

Both my daughter and grand daughter are under strict instructions to let me know when my hair colour no longer looks good with my face colour.

My hair still has a natural sheen, mainly because until recently I have only been using dye on it 2 or 3 times a year, although I use it more frequently now. I have often looked at women with dull lifeless looking dyed hair and wondered how that happened. Now I know.

I'm glad that I'm not the only one!
I'm 72 and still use Nutrisse red on my hair .
It looks ok ,but obviously dyed .
I have asked around to check that it's looks alright .
I was advised by professional hairdressers recently to leave well alone and just carry on using it .
I started to let it grow through and my friends thought that I looked ill and washed out .
I have a long silver wig to try if I really do want to go grey .
I wonder if I'll be an 80 year old lady with dyed red hair .
Maybe !

I think dyed hair over 70 can be aging if dark, especially reddish brown. Blond tends to look softer. It’s difficult for hair to look healthy and shiny if constantly dyed.

It’s still possible to look “presentable” without dyed hair, but can take a bit of getting used to if you have coloured it for a long time, and have an entrenched negative vision of what older women look like without dyed hair.

I'm 76, still colour my hair dark brown, it may not suit every old lady but it suits me. The condition is good but I've always had it coloured professionally (except for covid). I totally trust my hairdresser, she's not cheap but I know she'll tell me when it's time to transition to grey and we have a plan for when the time comes. If she said she wouldn't colour because my hair was too porous, I'd totally accept her judgement. I think home colouring is tricky to do, OH helped me during covid but the colour was too "blocky" which made it look dyed. Natural colour is a mix of lots of shades and my hairdresser will weave lighter colours through about every six months and lets the sun lighten the ends in the summer, it's a real art form. I couldn't find a semi permanent that would work with totally grey hair that needed the roots done.

Or opt for an exciting new cut?

Sounds like a good salon.
Maybe try another who use different products

I think that the salon doesn't want to risk their reputation by colouring porous hair .
It's very upsetting for you .
I wanted to change my very long dyed red hair to grey .
The salon said that they would do it if I agreed to have a very short cut .
I couldn't face having my long hair cut short -so here I am with Nutrisse coloured hair .
I took more professional advice last year and the salon girls said that my hair was nice and to leave well alone.
So that's what I've done !
I know of one lady ,who was refused any more appointments because the hairdresser said that she found her hypercritical .

oh, just go to another salon!

keepingquiet you say that 'Trust me people know you're old regardless of your hair colour.' what? really.

ha ha who ever would have thought it!!!

I think for those who like to colour their hair regardless of age it would be wise to avoid reds and darker browns/black, shades of blonde and light browns imho are the best and would recommend semi-permanent - wash in/wash out home hair dye kits rather than the far more damaging permanent hair dyes.

You’re so right keepingquiet. Colouring your hair in your 70s fools nobody.

Same here. I sucked it up and I'm a few years younger than you. Trust me people know you're old regardless of your hair colour.
The hairdresser is doing their job.

Also, use shampoo specifically for coloured hair and conditioner once hair is coloured and never any shampoo that strips colour like a dandruff shampoo.

SunnySusie
Be thankful they turned you down, my DD went ahead with a salon after they were dubious after a strand test and ended up with almost black hair! Took about a year to fade and grow out.
Porous hair sucks up dye, but you can have colour by using a reputable brand like you have done and using dark blonde or light brown and reduce the time it’s on your hair and keep checking it.It’s what DD did later when her hair had recovered and was absolutely fine.

You haven't been rejected. The salon is protecting you from ending up disappointed, possibly blaming them and complaining to others about it, damaging their reputation in the process.

This from a professional site:

How Porosity Affects Hair Colour

Porous hair has a damaged and raised cuticle. In healthy hair the cuticle is smooth and lies flat, but the cuticle in porous hair is lifted or raised.

Shop bought box-dyes are weaker than professional dyes but your hair will still have been damaged by home dyeing.

When the cuticle is damaged and raised, any colour mixture which is applied to the hair will penetrate too easily and be over-absorbed, which can lead to darker, duller colour outcomes. Increased hair porosity can also lead to rapid colour fade, as the raised hair cuticles can leak colour pigment molecules.

Fast Fading Colour

When the hair does not retain the colour molecules there will be a noticeable fading of the colour. Porous hair cannot retain colour effectively, leading to potentially both darker and duller colour results, and also colour results which fade rapidly. The raised cuticle on the outer layer of the hair allows colour pigments to leak, leading to fading colour results. Colour will fade and be short-lasting.

If you want to start having your hair coloured professionally, an option would be to grow out the home colour or have the coloured hair cut off. The new growth will be undamaged or at least less damaged depending on what chemicals you use on it.

Isn’t it better to have healthy, shiny grey hair than hair which has reacted badly to colouring? The hairdresser was right to test your hair. Its condition is not their fault. You can only blame your own hair and perhaps all the years of home colouring haven’t helped. The salon or another one may be able to suggest a way of gently transitioning to grey. There comes a time when coloured hair no longer suits many of us, looks very artificial and can be ageing. My decision to go grey when I was 70 was absolutely the right one. I look after my hair and the colour suits my skin now. And yes, I wear makeup and take care of my appearance too. I’m vain!

I agree MOnica that 'reject' is a bit strong for a hairdressing issue, but I was really surprised how much it upset me. Yes its trivial in the grand scheme of things, but it made me feel really old - and in the season where I tend to depression, quite down in the dumps. My volunteering roles are all front facing, customer service, reception type jobs and I really try to look presentable and take great care with my clothing, make up and hair. Its a good incentive for me and I have always said I dont want to embrace the grey.

silverlining48

Babs my friend uses redkin purple shampoo and her hair is a lovely shade of violet mixed with grey hair. What brand do you use?

It is called Provoke and is available online, am pretty sure high street shops have it too.