...to think dancing at a music show is OK?

Most shows like this will give the audience the nod to dance, usually towards the end.
Or if is really informal then some people just get up to dance.
But were you dancing alone?
You say the row behind seemed ok with it, were some of them dancing?
I only get up and dance if this has been given the thumbs up by those in the show or if most people get up to dance.
🧐

Sorry just read that many were actually dancing and you only stood for one number.
In this case I would have danced.
And I would have got cross with my DH, though he’d be up dancing too and I’d probs have to stop him making a spectacle of himself 😂

I have never been shy but never imagined being the first person to stand and dance.

This reminds me of a concert I went to a while back of a very famous singer. I like to dance, but I'd never be the one to get up until most others do. The singer shouted out to the audience to get up on their feet and dance, so he could see everyone was having a good time. As a few rows in front of us were dancing and enjoying themselves, and all we could see were people's bums, not wanting to be the miserable ones, my friend and I joined in, only to be reprimanded by a guy in the row behind us! We apologised and sat back down to the view of people's bums! At that point, we turned and told him that we hadn't paid to look at people's bums either, but that the performer had told everyone to get on their feet, so that's what we were doing! He soon followed suit.

I do agree, that it's not the thing to do if most of the audience remain seated, but sometimes it's expected, even by the performer.

Usually there is a request for phones to be turned off. At one show a short while ago someone started to video it and we saw someone from the theatre ask her to delete it and put it away. As for you standing up to dance in front of people sitting. That would really annoy me.

FriedGreenTomatoes2

I wonder if anyone dares challenge these ‘Pan’s People’ in a theatre? I wonder what they’d say if someone politely asked them ‘would you sit down?’
😮

Yes one open air gig (no tiered seating ) I was at everyone starting shouting sit down to the first few people towards the front that were up dancing , arms up high, obscuring everyone else’s view at the very start of the music, to begin with the ‘dancers’ took no notice, but as the chant got louder and louder they sat ….then later everyone was up so yes you have to ‘read the room’ and it’s one case where you can’t really be an individual

You were wrong and by stomping off and missing the rest of the show you acted like a petulant teenager ftm240
Sorry the posts haven’t gone your way I hope you learn from the majority next time your husband takes you to a concert or a gig

Normally at a seated show in a theatre people only get up and dance near the end. However at a Bruce Springsteen or Queen concert you might spend more time on your feet than on your seat.

ftm420

Went to a music show last night at our local theatre. First half a well known disco diva; 2nd half an popular 80s band.

I got up to dance towards the end of the first half, having checked with the row behind and thinking they were OK about my standing up.

However, DH then started telling me to sit down and stop embarrassing him and everyone else.

I did, for the following number. Then there was a break so I picked up my stuff and walked out. Maybe an overreaction but I felt so angry.

What annoys me too is the amount of people in the theatre, videoing the performance so all you could see was a sea of screens between us and the stage. If anything, that's ruder than dancing. I was not the only one up either and when the music's good, I dance! (Classical music is totally different of course)

I just didn't want to sit through the 2nd half with my arms crossed as that to me is just not fun.

Have I missed the memo where the etiquette at performances like this is laid out?

ftm420
I don’t think you’ve missed the memo , i believe people are just plain snobby/snooty / old farts .
One of the reasons I have opted not to go to music events in theatres.
Why should you be made to feel like you should not be dancing when you have gone for the music that you enjoy & the act you may of been waiting to see forces !
We have previously been to the theatre & been amazed that the people. around us don’t move a muscle as such , no toe tapping or shoulders moving !
it gets my goat on both counts , you pay your money to enjoy it & dancing is an expression of enjoyment 🎶🎵

Around 20odd years ago myself & a friend went to an outdoor concert at a local stanley home . We were
1) surprised that it was seated
2) Amazed that all along our row there was no toe tapping
when we looks around it was mostly the same no toppers or hip swingers . We stuck it out for as long as we could , then up we got , only to be told to go to the back if we wanted to Dance !
we had paid a lot of money for our entry , nowhere did it say seated . Anyway off we danced 🎶🎶🎶 As we were definitely not going to miss strutting our stuff to ‘ Crocodile Rock’🎵🎵🎵

Yes , it was the legend who is Sir Elton John !
And never have i seen a more miserable audience.
And i’ve been to well over 200 concerts here & abroad!
apart from the stick in their seats theatre bores .

Why does people not doing what you want to do makes them ‘bores’, ‘snobs’ or ‘old farts’?

And why does it come down to how much you have paid to be there? Reducing everything to money is a snobbish attitude if ever I heard one.

Everyone pays to be there, but that doesn’t give them the right to decide how others enjoy it. That is the privilege of the performer and/or the venue staff.

I’ve been to an Elton John gig, and everyone danced in the second half, which can’t have been fun for those unable to stand for long, but it was an Arena, not a Stanley home. I don’t know what a Stanley home is, so maybe that’s the difference? Anyway, it was made clear when it was acceptable to dance, and on the whole people were considerate enough to think of others. If someone pays a lot of money to go to a gig that they want to enjoy in the seat they paid for, why should your idea of a good night out trump theirs?

Another selfish person thinking only of themself yes you NanaTuesday Thank goodness you’ve decided to go to no more theatre music shows, you won’t be missed by all the people who ve paid good money to watch a show and all they see is your jiggling body They haven’t paid to see your bum jigging around
What’s a Stanley home ?
then up we got , only to be told to go to the back if we wanted to Dance ! exactly what you should have done go to the aisle or the back and dance your feet off but don’t do it in front of us
Selfish person …boo

A Stanley Home is probably a typo for STATELY HOME.

ftm420

I can’t believe many people will pay to watch a favourite musician & then sit rigidly upright fearing the wrath of all around them !
I agree with you ftm420
& the GN tribe have as per turned on me as they often do branding me ‘selfish’
good job i’m thick skinned when the keyboard warriors start with their onslaught .
Oh but those of us who also pay our money 💰 £££££’s often in the case of big acts reaching into hundreds are being vilified on here for actually wanting to move to the music 🎵
Can you imagine going to see The Rolling Stones & sitting 🪑 for fear of annoying the person behind you ??? Get up & enjoy the music for gods sake , you’re a long time dead .
Also of course my typo ‘ Stanley House’ should be ‘STATELY’ !
My friend & myself still laugh at that Elton John experience, literally being told “ you can’t dance here” we have never experienced that at an outdoor event ie concert before .

I’m not sure that I would have left the event you were at & actually shame on those making you feel that you should .

Yes , Nowadays West and musical productions such as Mama Mia , Tina etc all have the same stance nowadays. That is a given the same as NO to using of phones 📱.
I personally have never heard this at local theatre & when attending our local theatre if i have felt that i wanted to dance for a particular song then i do so & check that i am not ‘ annoying’ the person behind if they are still sitting . Most times those people have also got up & more often than not it’s because it’s the song everyone loves .
Interestingly, just last week there was something on that i knew i would want to be up dancing to the whole way through . It was a NS band .
My choice not to go because i know you ALWAYS get people going who attend just ‘ because ‘ not because they are into that genre of music 🎵 just because they can say ‘ we went’ or had a spare night .
oh well I’ll wait for that onslaught 😿

Imarocker

Normally at a seated show in a theatre people only get up and dance near the end. However at a Bruce Springsteen or Queen concert you might spend more time on your feet than on your seat.

Indeed , of course that’s the whole point you go for the music 🎵
Never got to a Queen concert but i can admit to falling asleep at a Bruce Springsteen show !! shock horror , He played the whole of a an old album , but i was
in my feet for almost all of everything else !!

My friends and I asked an usher at a show if we could dance and they said yes as long as we danced in one area so it didn’t spoil it for others, we were very happy and up we jumped .

It's not just the people directly behind you who are affected though - as others have pointed out on the thread. It's not just you who has paid 'good money' to see that particular band or show - it's everyone else too, and if you stand up and dance around, then you are spoiling the enjoyment of those behind you, not just immediately behind you. I'm far from 'snobby, snooty or an old fart', but you ARE being selfish.

Nansnet

This reminds me of a concert I went to a while back of a very famous singer. I like to dance, but I'd never be the one to get up until most others do. The singer shouted out to the audience to get up on their feet and dance, so he could see everyone was having a good time. As a few rows in front of us were dancing and enjoying themselves, and all we could see were people's bums, not wanting to be the miserable ones, my friend and I joined in, only to be reprimanded by a guy in the row behind us! We apologised and sat back down to the view of people's bums! At that point, we turned and told him that we hadn't paid to look at people's bums either, but that the performer had told everyone to get on their feet, so that's what we were doing! He soon followed suit.

I do agree, that it's not the thing to do if most of the audience remain seated, but sometimes it's expected, even by the performer.

I don’t believe anyone has the right to make you feel bad for enjoying yourself & in this instance the actual artist/ musician invited everyone to get up ⬆️ and dance 🕺
He probably thought his audience had fallen asleep or were all dead 😵

Kate1949
Really , let’s pay good money to see the musician we’ve followed & lived for years only to SIT and watch .
Concerts / Outdoor events are entirely different to a theatre & while my feet will always itch to dance 💃 I only ever go to see someone whose music i know & like which means I will be dancing 💃 maybe for one or two or three tunes if in a theatre but always at a concert in the park etc .

When we danced there was an area where it was allowed. I would have jiggled in my seat and still enjoyed the show. I have to agree I hate it when others block my view and enjoyment as it is not just people directly behind you. It is others further back.

Goodness me. Ftm420 It sounds like your husband is easily embarrassed and I would feel put out too under the circumstances. Perhaps he’s too self conscious to “get down” or isn’t so good at it!

NotSpaghetti

There are still plenty of standing gigs (as someone said upthread). Maybe go to those and then you can dance all you want.
Win-win.

I agree.
Dance in the aisles if you have to dance in a theatre but do not assume you are any more special than anyone else in the audience. OP's OH was right to tell her to sit down.

NanaTuesday

ftm420

I can’t believe many people will pay to watch a favourite musician & then sit rigidly upright fearing the wrath of all around them !
I agree with you ftm420
& the GN tribe have as per turned on me as they often do branding me ‘selfish’
good job i’m thick skinned when the keyboard warriors start with their onslaught .
Oh but those of us who also pay our money 💰 £££££’s often in the case of big acts reaching into hundreds are being vilified on here for actually wanting to move to the music 🎵
Can you imagine going to see The Rolling Stones & sitting 🪑 for fear of annoying the person behind you ??? Get up & enjoy the music for gods sake , you’re a long time dead .
Also of course my typo ‘ Stanley House’ should be ‘STATELY’ !
My friend & myself still laugh at that Elton John experience, literally being told “ you can’t dance here” we have never experienced that at an outdoor event ie concert before .

I’m not sure that I would have left the event you were at & actually shame on those making you feel that you should .

But there is a lot of ground between ‘sitting rigidly upright’ and blocking the view of people behind you by wiggling your bum at their head height.

Why is it that anyone who disagrees with you is a ‘keyboard warrior’ or part of a tribe? You are in a minority here - aren’t you the warrior?

Some people enjoy music more when dancing - others love to see the performance, which is why they ‘pay a lot of money’ to see a live gig. Having dancers in the seating area can ruin that, so yes - those doing it are selfish. They are only thinking of what they want to do and don’t care about those they’ve written off as uptight bores because they don’t do things the same way as them.

I didn’t think of ‘Stately home’ incidentally. I wasn’t having a dig. I’ve never seen a band perform in one, so it didn’t occur to me. I don’t know how that alters the principle though.

Do you seriously think that paying money gives you the right to do as you please, and disregard the rights of others? How does that fit with the fact that those others have also paid for their tickets? Or is your money somehow worth more than theirs, in the same way that your wishes are more important than others’?