DD’s wedding

Because they live in a community where others will support and encourage them, as well as helping them celebrate.

I was at a 50th wedding anniversary lately- the groom gave a small speech in which he remembered the sermon the priest gave, in which he said that although it was 'their' day, the marriage would only succeed with the help of the people who were there around them to help them celebrate before the hard work really started.

The groom then went on to thank everyone in the room that had been there on the day for all their help and support, without which the marriage would not have lasted the 50 years it has. I was quite touched that he had remembered those words...

I think this is what I was trying to say but rather awkwardly, that a wedding maybe about them, but a marriage certainly isnt...we do not live in isolation from each other.

Maybe I'm just very old fashioned in this regard.

keepingquiet

For me there is a difference between a wedding that takes place where the bride and groom may live, and the ones where the wedding is held overseas at a holiday destination.

I am not sure which this is- but I really don't know how I would react if any of my children said they would be getting married abroad, especially as they should consider whether it is convenient for other people to be in attendance.

I'm not sure I would go if I had your anxiety over travelling, or a commitment to animals.

If the wedding is just an extended holiday I wouldn't go, because I find it disrespectful but that's just me maybe?

I wonder why young people get to be so selfish that weddings become all about them, and not the family or social networks to which they belong.

By all means marry abroad if you want, but don't expect people to put themselves out finanically or otherwise, to be there. It all seems upside down to me.

You wonder why young people get to be so selfish that weddings become all about them? But a wedding IS all about the bride and groom! Whatever makes you think it isn’t?

What a great outcome, twiglet! Enjoy!

Read the thread Welsh puppy

In effect your dogs are going to be left alone for a week. People popping in to feed and let them out is no substitute for company, even if they have each other. I couldn't leave them. Surprised your daughter didn't think of discussing with you before making her plans. Personally I wouldn't go. She's been with her partner a while and has children so why doesn't she just do have a wedding with them present?

twiglet77

I’m really so appreciative of the time so many lovely GNetters have put into sharing their thoughts.

I think the stars are aligned in a rather amazing way. Out walking the dogs a few weeks ago, I met a young woman I’d worked with during Covid, we both did a Saturday shift in a supermarket. I was surprised she was in this village but our very brief chat was just on the lines of “Gosh, didn’t you work at …. ? What sweet dogs!”

Today I browsed the village Facebook page and there is an advert for her newish dog-walking / dog-sitting business, loads of photos. Long phone call, and she’s booked to look after the dogs here, with time for her other walks too. She is happy to do the full week, so I can travel door to door with my other daughter, who is in the same hotel. I won’t need to drive to or from the airport so I can ask the GP for something a lot stronger than Kalms, they’re both evening flights. Having flown only once in the past 20 years, and only a few times ever, I just hope it’s a smooth journey.

It will still be nerve-wracking socially, it may still be hotter than I’ve ever known. It will still be a big hotel, but - it’s air conditioned, I can hide in my room to avoid the sun and perhaps the DGC will be happy indoors, I’ve said I absolutely refuse to watch small boys near a pool or in a crowd. However, they are clearly absolutely thrilled that I’ll be there.

My three AC have generously offered, between them, to pay for the flights and hotel, my outfit, and the dog sitter.

Now I need to get travel insurance, but I’m going to sleep better tonight than I have done for several weeks.

Thank you all. Wish me luck!

Nice update. Thank you.

Good luck!

Good luck twiglet! I hope that you have a good time.

Crossstitchfan

Yes!!

Sorry, written in error!

Yes!!

Smileless2012

twiglet said in her OP that the condition of her house doesn't make it suitable for a pet/house sitter to stay there.

Given the admitted poor condition of the house, coupled with the anxiety, I would suggest that Twiglet sees a GP sooner rather than later. There is something very worrying going on here and I am concerned for her mental health.

Thanks for the update- have a lovely time! Win win for everyone!

So pleased for you, Twiglet! GPs have always been kind to me re medication for flights - usually 2mg Diazepam - some for the outward flight and some for the way back.

Twiglet have a wonderful time . And you will cherish the memories you make there. 🌹

LOUISA1523

ViceVersa

Getting married overseas doesn't have to cost a fortune. My daughter and her husband chose to get married in Corfu, just the two of them, plus her dad and I as witnesses, because they didn't want a big wedding and lots of fuss here at home. No-one else knew about it. It was a beautiful day and we all enjoyed a week's holiday in the sun at the same time. A couple of months after the 'big day', they invited family and friends to a party at a local hall - didn't cost much and everyone said it was one of the best 'weddings' they'd been to.

I would have felt very upset if I had been the grooms mother .....didn't you feel guilty knowing you were there but not the grooms parents? ...or maybe he doesn't have any ?

Actually, his mother died several years ago, but he did ask his dad and stepmum if they would like to come, and they didn't want to. They were more than happy just to come to the 'after party', and we did stress to my daughter and her husband that if they just wanted to go away and get married with just the two of them, that would be fine with us too. We were more than happy to go along with their wishes - after all, it was their wedding, not ours.

Wow Twiglet, great news. I'm with you regarding watching small children near water.

I just came back to this thread in the hope that you would have resolved your problems. I’m so happy that you’ll have.
By the way you said that the weather will be hotter than you have ever known. I’m sure you managed to cope during some of the very hot spells we’ve had here. In a hotel you’ll always have the option of avoiding the heat and it will be cool when you sleep which always helps. Have a wonderful and memorable time!

My Nephew's Bride had always dreamt of a wedding on a tropical beach but once the couple had investigated the difficulties and cost of such a wedding they found a compromise solution Viz They had their honeymoon in their desired location before the wedding and were married on the beach - just the 2 of them the, celebrant and someone hired to make a video recording of the ceremony. A week after they came home the well tanned couple hosted a sort of wedding reception with a meal, speeches, music and dancing. The video was shown and all at no cost or long distance travel for the guests = Everybody Happy

twiglet77

I’m really so appreciative of the time so many lovely GNetters have put into sharing their thoughts.

I think the stars are aligned in a rather amazing way. Out walking the dogs a few weeks ago, I met a young woman I’d worked with during Covid, we both did a Saturday shift in a supermarket. I was surprised she was in this village but our very brief chat was just on the lines of “Gosh, didn’t you work at …. ? What sweet dogs!”

Today I browsed the village Facebook page and there is an advert for her newish dog-walking / dog-sitting business, loads of photos. Long phone call, and she’s booked to look after the dogs here, with time for her other walks too. She is happy to do the full week, so I can travel door to door with my other daughter, who is in the same hotel. I won’t need to drive to or from the airport so I can ask the GP for something a lot stronger than Kalms, they’re both evening flights. Having flown only once in the past 20 years, and only a few times ever, I just hope it’s a smooth journey.

It will still be nerve-wracking socially, it may still be hotter than I’ve ever known. It will still be a big hotel, but - it’s air conditioned, I can hide in my room to avoid the sun and perhaps the DGC will be happy indoors, I’ve said I absolutely refuse to watch small boys near a pool or in a crowd. However, they are clearly absolutely thrilled that I’ll be there.

My three AC have generously offered, between them, to pay for the flights and hotel, my outfit, and the dog sitter.

Now I need to get travel insurance, but I’m going to sleep better tonight than I have done for several weeks.

Thank you all. Wish me luck!

Good luck 🍀 and have a lovely lovely time !

ViceVersa

Getting married overseas doesn't have to cost a fortune. My daughter and her husband chose to get married in Corfu, just the two of them, plus her dad and I as witnesses, because they didn't want a big wedding and lots of fuss here at home. No-one else knew about it. It was a beautiful day and we all enjoyed a week's holiday in the sun at the same time. A couple of months after the 'big day', they invited family and friends to a party at a local hall - didn't cost much and everyone said it was one of the best 'weddings' they'd been to.

I would have felt very upset if I had been the grooms mother .....didn't you feel guilty knowing you were there but not the grooms parents? ...or maybe he doesn't have any ?

Good resolution. You are lucky to have such a supportive family.

It has turned out perfectly for you, Twiglet. Now that you are relaxed about the flight, you will probably find that the wedding is far more enjoyable than you fear. If you're worried about the heat, get one of those little battery-driven fans which you can keep in your handbag and cool yourself when it gets too hot.

Life is looking after you Twiglet.. relax and enjoy

Well done Twiglet all sorted. I wish you a wonderful time. Do come back and let us all know how it went. xx

That's great news twiglet.

Aw! That's so nice Twiglet. True serendipity. 💛

I hope your passport is up to date.
Enjoy your adventure. Enjoy your family.