I have a grandchild who declares themselves 'non-binary' Started out around age of 14r when they told us they were gay, then within a few months this became they were actually in the wrong genders body and wanted to transition. Over the years and they are now declared non-binary. Along with this has been two name changes. The first which fitted in as either the other gender or no gender - the second (by which they are known now), a name from a Cosmo game they like!!!! And a daft name!!!
Anyway, whatever they are I have always tried to go along with them (their parents including my daughter are very supportive), and choose all my pronouns when making any reference to them with the greatest of care (Them/They/Their - not She/Her/hers)
They are now well adult and at a recent family 'do' something came up and I referred to them in a story about them and one of their cousins who were bridesmaids together when they four hears of age. And, yes, I talked about them using the name they were known at then at that age.
Evidently (I have since been told), this has really annoyed them as I 'deadnamed' them!!!!!
Has anyone else here heard this term. By referring to them by the name they received at birth, and were using , happily, at the age of 4 years old, is a tremendous insult and disrespect for me to use at all. Deadnamed!!!!
They are angry and upset with me, and so is their Mother, my daughter. Can you believe it????
So, another of my daughters' has explained it all to me in details - still does not make much sense - but when I asked what i should do have been told to send an apology!!!
I make a rule not to fall out with any of my own children - sometimes have had to walk on eggt shells, but that is fine. Same rule for g.children, so today I have sent a Card, saying How Sorry I am for this and asking they forgive this ignorant mistake by an old Lady (I am, after all, just a few weeks short of being 84!!!).
When I was at one of my knitting groups this morning writing the card, a couple of people said I should not apologise, had nothing to apologise for, etc. etc.
I did post the card on my way home, Be interested to her what other G.Netters would have done in my place.
