To rant about unclear speaking voices on the phone

“Pardon me”

A simple “What?” would be clearer and less non-U!

I suspect it's to push us towards going online. Firms don't replace old audio equipment. They want tocommunicate through apps and chat bots. No-one enunciates, or has a phone voice anymore.

Having said that, any time I have problems, I immediately say that I have a hearing loss (which I do have) and tell them to put that on my record so that they know to speak more slowly and clearly.

I'm very deaf and have identified two sorts of talking that are hard or impossible for me even with hearing aids.

Sibilant voices are difficult for me whereas people whose vowel sounds are more prominent are easier. For some reason a sibilant speaker is intelligible to me on a phone call. A call centre operative advised me once to request that operatives use their phone instead of their headset when they answer me.

People who speak fast and say unnecessary words are sometimes a problem for me as a deaf person. Plain unadorned English is best especially when phoning. I once worked in telecommunications and the radio language was never ambiguous or superfluous. I guess that call centre people simply are not well enough trained. Having said this, the Tesco call centre is staffed by excellent English speakers who also come over as empathetic human beings. The Tesco call centre is an example other call centres should follow.

One of my daughters in law the primary school teacher one who talks a lot adjusts her language for me as she recognises that as deaf person I have special needs, and what a difference this makes!

Indian and Pakistani people tend to talk rapidly and garrulously and call centres there are not very good for that reason.

Maelil

“Pardon me”

A simple “What?” would be clearer and less non-U!

I was always taught at home and school that the word what was the height of rudeness and that we should say pardon if we had not heard something.

Regardinfg"Pardon?" I would have thought most people know that "Pardon" is non-U. However snobbishness is a side issue when we are talking about plain English and the need to communicate simple facts.

I do better than a lot at understanding things - probably down to being an Armed Forces brat carted around the world a bit when young. So I certainly recall a man coming up to me and my then boyfriend in a pub and my boyfriend hadnt the faintest idea what he was saying - because he'd got such a strong regional accent - but I understood him okay.

I guess it's familiarity that's a lot of it - remembering a national trade union course I went on one time and the first evening out down the pub with all these men from wherever else in the country was a bit of a struggle. By the second evening I'd "got my ear in" and could understand them.

I'm fortunate of myself - in that I've "changed voice" myself several times and so obviously pick up tones quite well. I went from a neutral voice (as per my parents), to my first primary school and promptly re-emerged pretty quickly having learnt something my mother hadnt planned on (ie our regional accent), then very "too-too" and posh because she'd sent me off to an elocution teacher to get rid of it again and go back to a neutral voice. Probably got the neutral voice now again...

I am having a bit of a problem now - as Covid left me with one deaf ear (and goodness knows if that will get back to normal) - as they are telling me it's "age-related" and I'm thinking "Huh! Really?!!!" given that it turned up shortly after I got Covid.

Now YouTube channels can be a nuisance to me. Some people speak with normal voices - ie clear enough/loud enough/etc. But then there's some that are difficult - and I usually inwardly groan when I see a "very concerned to look feminine woman" - as I know there's a very good chance she'll be speaking (for whatever reason) in a "very soft/feminine little voice" and I get distinctly annoyed because I do know she could put the volume up and/or use subtitles and the "feminine voiced" never will...they always have the volume set low on their equipment and never ever do subtitles - ie they want to come over as "soft, feminine little me" and don't care about those of us who won't be able to watch their channels because of their determination not to bother about us...

I just wish people would use text/ email more and phone less. The phone is very intrusive, often unintelligible and leaves no trail for checking facts in the future. Neither side has trace of agreement seems ludicrous.
Because of what I assumed was bad sound quality I have had to change landline phone and iPhone. Because it was becoming so difficult hearing people. I now have AirPods which if they are in are great. But I’d much rather get a mail or message. Banks know this, because of so many fraud phone calls, so they go through the email route. The NHS is the worst they either ring at no notice while you are shopping and ask personal questions about prescriptions etc or write to you telling you that someone will ring you at a certain time many weeks ahead. That letter sent second class mail typed weeks after consultation and taking weeks to arrive. You just want an email do they think we can’t write?
Chat lines are useless. And if you get through to a utility phone contact they usually very accented and very fast. Just embarrassing.
You’d think if telephone speaking was such a necessity then applicants might be tested and trained.
Like sight, hearing deteriorates with age. You wouldn’t expect people to see without their glasses on yet perfect hearing is expected of all. It’s discriminatory and people feel guilty and shamed for not hearing properly. Good hearing aids cost about £4000. Then they are Bluetooth. The NHs ones don’t work on the phone. Luckily the new AirPods give a hearing test and adjust to match your hearing for £230 which compared to Bluetooth hearing aids is a snip. so perhaps the future is brighter with new technology and AI. I’m tired of being shamed and gently mocked by my family it seems the least protected disability so speak out and say it’s a disability be patient and shame the buggers or at least wake them up.

Nowadays people rarely say 'pardon'. 'Sorry'seems to be universal.

Cariad, you not only like language but you can both receive and transmit language . My sons too were forces kids who moved thirteen times during their boyhoods. The boys learned not only to understand a variety of accents but also a bit of Spanish and Portuguese , and various British dialects and accents enough to buy food and play with their chums.

I think that being good at understanding foreign dialects and languages has a lot to do with understanding the social situation intuitively. Maybe your boyfriend in the pub was too shy for his own good.

Cariad, concerning your deafness such as it is, I bet you will be a quick learner in lip reading, and you won't even be conscious of doing lip reading. Language is a social skill and you will not lose the skill in interpersonal relations.

On the phone I sometimes say "sorry would you repeat that slowly ". Face to face I sometimes say "I didn't hear that. I'm deaf and need you to face me when you speak."

In early childhood I was taught that Pardon? is polite and What? is rude. Whatever one says it's best to let the speaker know you can't hear them so the ball is in their court to do better.

Caleo

Cariad, concerning your deafness such as it is, I bet you will be a quick learner in lip reading, and you won't even be conscious of doing lip reading. Language is a social skill and you will not lose the skill in interpersonal relations.

Actually I have found I can often lip-read what people other than the "soft-voiced women" say on YouTube channels. I hadnt realised I was doing it and I've never learnt it - so that was a bit of a surprise to realise.

I know I've had to "do things the other way round" when it comes to lip-reading - because of my father having been in the Armed Forces. I think I probably just got told so often not to "mumble" and to stand up straight and look at him etc and speak clearly and I know he used to lip-read me. Reason being he had a substantial percentage of deafness from the Armed Forces - think it was 80% he got assessed as??? It was down to their heavy guns they used or, as he put it, "They'd give the officers ear protection - but not us oicks!!!!" They might have subsequently regretted that - as he put in a claim against them for the deafness they'd inflicted on him and got extra pension out of them for it and then he followed his own motto of "Learn it myself first - and then teach everyone else it too" and he set out to get the same payment for all his mates too that had had the same thing happen to them.....and managed it by the sound of it...

Cariad, my own sons had to learn how to mix with different sets of friends during their boyhood. My husband too was in the armed forces.
This has given my sons the opportunity to learn social skills they may not otherwise have learned so thoroughly. So I do believe you have this same advantage of a social skill that will serve you well when your hearing is impaired.

Cariad I loved the heart worming story of your father!

warming

I 100% agree. It’s impossible for my mum to make a call these days to any large business as she just can’t understand what’s being said to her.

When I was much younger (no hearing issues!) and in a role where I had to deal with people on the phone, I quite often had to ask them to say that again, slowly! Especially when a string of numbers was involved.
It was often a case of mumbling and gabbling combined. I would want to tell them to
E-NUNC-I-ATE!