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AIBU

My daughter has excluded me because I did not like the name she chose for her new baby.

(255 Posts)
Smileless2012 Sat 15-Mar-25 13:27:41

Oh dear too late I know, but better to have kept your opinion of the name to yourself and being on the receiving end of your D's over reaction (IMO) it was another mistake to make any further suggestions.

Your D does come across as rather immature if this is the only reason for cancelled visits and not wanting you around.

I suggest you pull back, don't ask if you can visit or invite them to yours just send the occasional text or email, or make the occasional call asking how she and your GC are.

Hopefully things will settle down.

SORES Sat 15-Mar-25 13:26:11

@keepingitquiet - instincts are wonderful things ha ha

or

when one enters a minefield, one risks being blown up

rafichagran Sat 15-Mar-25 13:24:27

I am not surprised she is annoyed with you, not your baby not your business.
You seem to want some say in the Grandchilds name, using a family name this was not wanted either. You seem very domineering.
I don't think you like your daughter much with sneering remarks about superficial and judgemental remarks about the other family.
I almost hope this is not true as you have bought all this on yourself.

keepingquiet Sat 15-Mar-25 13:20:15

I really don't know if this is a wind-up? Only parents have the right to name their child... you had your turn.

AmberGreen Sat 15-Mar-25 13:17:52

In the run up to the birth of our grandchild a couple of names were suggested which we liked, but at the last minute my daughter, at a family lunch out, announced a new name "Troy"as her final choice.
In surprise I said that it wasn't a family name on either side and a bit out there, she flew into a rage saying she loved it and I was ruining her pleasure in the name. To avoid upset we said the we hoped the baby would be ok and that was everything never mind the name.
She got her phone out and showed us pictures of a couple who had called their son the same name. Obviously she admired their car, clothes, and seemingly endless plastic surgery and terrible eyebrows. Although she's 40 she's always been a bit superficial.
When he was born we suggested maybe a family name as a middle name? This was rejected by text. We tried for a nickname and received anger. Now 6 months on relations are strained with cancelled visits and not wanting us around.
It has also emerged that other relatives knew her choice of name long before she announced it so publicly to us. "But it always was going to be...." This is very hurtful for us. We have an older grandchild and were much more involved in her upbringing. She had my mother's middle name and a more mainstream first name. I feel we have been played and an understandable surprised reaction used to take offence because we are simply surplus to requirements.