My daughter has excluded me because I did not like the name she chose for her new baby.

I really don't know if this is a wind-up? Only parents have the right to name their child... you had your turn.

I am not surprised she is annoyed with you, not your baby not your business.
You seem to want some say in the Grandchilds name, using a family name this was not wanted either. You seem very domineering.
I don't think you like your daughter much with sneering remarks about superficial and judgemental remarks about the other family.
I almost hope this is not true as you have bought all this on yourself.

@keepingitquiet - instincts are wonderful things ha ha

or

when one enters a minefield, one risks being blown up

Oh dear too late I know, but better to have kept your opinion of the name to yourself and being on the receiving end of your D's over reaction (IMO) it was another mistake to make any further suggestions.

Your D does come across as rather immature if this is the only reason for cancelled visits and not wanting you around.

I suggest you pull back, don't ask if you can visit or invite them to yours just send the occasional text or email, or make the occasional call asking how she and your GC are.

Hopefully things will settle down.

Troy may not be your choice but it is the mother’s. There are far more way out ones than that. Bite your tongue, it is not for you to choose. You will soon get used to it. The days of generations in the family using the same names has long gone.

I sat in the village park by the children’s play area and really smiled at the names the mother’s call out to the toddlers, ancient ones like Noah and Nelson to the latest singing sensations It is you that is out of step with daughter’s generation.

I am blessed with two family names but have never been called either of them!

I don't mean to sound rude, but is not you business to choose your future grandchild's name.

I feel some sympathy for your daughter, whether she is immature or not. Just when she needs her mum, you have spoiled what should be a joyous occasion.

You were completely in the wrong to criticise her name choices. The best thing you can do is apologise and keep your lips firmly shut.

I would have liked one of my children to name one of theirs, after one of my parents. They chose names from their partner’s side of the family. I sometimes still feel hurt ….
but as others have said, their baby, their choice …

I suddenly remembered -

‘Troy’ was a name my daughter had in mind for a boy child,
inspired by the beautiful Troye Sivan apparently.
I pointed out it wasn’t his real name anyway, not that it mattered and reminded her of our advice not to speculate
on names aloud and open up discussion, suggestion, opinion.

My daughter and son in law both come from families with traditional names as they too were given.

I well remember the comments from older family members,
before and after naming our children. So rude.

Baby is a girl btw

It does seem a bit extreme to cut you off for criticising the baby name, but it really wasn’t your place. I’m hoping I managed to keep a straight and interested face on me when some of the more “out there” choices were mooted for our grandsons. Much worse than Troy, one or two so bad I wonder if we were being wound up. In the end they were all given names we love, but if they hadn’t been we’d have just kept smiling. It’s surprising how quickly babies grow into their given names anyway.

I'm not sure if you're being serious here? The baby's name is a matter for the parents and the parents alone. I'd have been beyond furious if my mother had attempted to influence what my husband and I decided to call our children. I'm not really a fan of 'family names' anyway. Whether you liked the name or not, you should have just smiled sweetly and kept your mouth shut, or risk irreparably damaging your relationship with your daughter.

I think you have been far too involved in the naming of the baby. You have upset your DD before by suggesting family names. You say your DD is superficial which is unkind and I'm not really surprised that she is annoyed.
Grandparents should keep out of baby naming as it's often the cause of problems.

Your daughter could easily see this thread, which would be unlikely to make the situation better, as you have used the name. Maybe think about asking HQ to take the name out of your OP?

More silly grandparents. Hey ho.

My son had a friend called Troy.. I always liked the name.. I think you over reacted and inappropriately.. and I also don't like you calling your daughter superficial..

Oh dear. I’m sorry to say , or perhaps not , that all this mess is entirely your fault. Not only did you criticize the name she chose when she announced she’d chosen one- but you continued to try to persuade her to change it or add a family name - including just after she’d had the baby , ar a time when new mothers are sensitive and emotional anyway. Then you didn’t even stop there - but “tried a nickname” so as to avoid using her choice of name presumably Whixh waki didn’t go over - go figure ! And now you find she’s still upset with you and avoiding visits etc. count me as not shocked at all. It’s 100% none of your business what she named her baby and it’s certainly not your place to try to choose a nickname to avoid using it. You’ve acted poorly and I’d start with a solid apology and embracing of the name she’s chosen. Admitting all the ways you’ve acted badly.

As an aside, the name chosen was hardly that out there -I’ve heard ten times worse and more unusual names , including one set of my own grands who’s name announcements I met with a warm smile and a “that’s perfect !” No matter what I was thinking. And you know what? Once baby was here and that’s who they were - it was perfect and endearing and beautiful all at once.

What comes through to me is the fact that you don't like your daughter very much; 'although she's 40 she has always been a bit superficial.' And you clearly expected to have some say in the baby's name and are very resentful that you were ignored. You feel you 'have been played' and are now' surplus to requirements.'
Grow up.

Trends in baby names change over time. We should be thankful for that or else every boy would still be called George, Henry or William and his sons called George, Henry or William, and every girl called Ann, Elizabeth or Mary and her daughters called Ann, Elizabeth or Mary.

Perhaps your daughter kept this from you for as long as she could as she was anticipating criticism. You seem very critical of her generally.

The name she has chosen has a good, strong meaning. I shan’t say what it is in case you ask to have it removed from the text as I also think you should.

I can't imagine weighing in on the names of our GC, none of my business. All you can do now is write a note of apology and wait.

I wonder why you think your daughter should have been interested in your choice of family names for her child?

Perhaps you should, as part to your sincere apology - acknowledge you understand you have no choice in her decisions.

Along with the joy of being a Granny has to come the understanding that you also have a back seat.
All aspects of parenting and that includes names are not your domain.
IF you are asked for your opinion/advice, then different but I would still be tactful with my answers.
Buy him something like a keepsake box with Troy proudly displayed on the lid.
Embrace the arrival of a healthy grandchild. Many are not so fortunate.

Oh dear, family upsets over the passing on of names was something I avoided as I was the youngest of 4 so family names had already been used by the time my 2 children came along. I think this practice should be allowed to die a death.

We chose simple names we liked, no middle names and thought too about the surname to follow it. How many silly combinations do you see/hear these days.

But I think you have really overreacted here OP . The baby's name is for the parents to choose. Hopefully the situation will settle down and maybe ' least said soonest mended'. How about buying something for the baby with the new name featured, ie a book, or an embroidered blanket/bib. There are lots of things now that can be personalised.

What parents name their children is their choice. Grandparents or anyone else has no say. You should just be happy the baby arrived safely and your daughter is well.

The situation you are in is of your own making . You should have just been glad to have a grandson. Why would you think people would think you are right in butting in.

How would you have reacted if your parents had tried to get you to change your mind about what you called your daughter and any other children you may have .

The only Troy I knew was Troy Donahue who I was madly in love with as a young teenager.

Doing family research will be a bit easier!! I personally like the name - a policeman in Midsumer Murders at one time? Anyway not your baby as others have said - youve had your turn.