My daughter has excluded me because I did not like the name she chose for her new baby.

More than forty years ago, I was that new mother. We chose to call our little boy by a traditional Scottish name that wasn't often used at the time, but gave him a family name as a middle name to give him a choice in case he didn't like it.

My father was outraged "I'm not calling him that!" he said. Ok, we said - use his middle name, if you want.

What happened? My old man came out of the huff and eventually used the chosen name because that's what DS was called. Nowadays, it's a very popular name for boys, with one in every primary school class, it seems.

Why not just accept your DD's choice. You may find Troy's name suits him well.

Oh, for goodness sake, it is the parents choice and nowt to do with you. Fancy falling out over a child's name, you must be crackers.

Sorry, but while reading this I've started singing Stingray! Maybe if it's a girl next it'll be Marina. Singing that one now lol.

Just one more thought - think about what the negatives are that you associate with 'Troy'. Name of a Stingray puppet? Too American? Maybe find out more about the city of Troy in Greek mythology (real or mythical - not sure), and try to see the name in a different light?

I always say how lovely to any name, grandchild or any other child. I might struggle with my expression if they said Adolf middle name Hitler.

It's very tricky...I was 'unsure' about the name of one of our grandchildren. Best thing to have said when they announced it would have been, at the most, a very neutral 'hmm...' and the minute you discovered that's the one they were going to choose, to embrace it, ie learn to love it! As I think it usually happens that, whatever our initial 'thoughts' about a name, we do learn to love it, as we come to associate it more and more with our wonderful grandchild! Very difficult to 'rewind' this one - you need to get down on your knees and make a HUGE apology to your daughter and beg forgiveness! And learn to love the name. There's no other way.

Grammaretto

I don't know why Troy doesn't appeal to me Rula. It has associations I suppose. It sounds American.
It's a place-name.
It would be fine for a pet.
As you say "horses for courses"
I like unusual names and old fashioned names too but Troy is neither.

Funny you should mention that, we had the most gorgeous dog called Troy!

And yes, American, our son has an American wife which could explain the choice.

Odd names do grow on us. My youngest daughter has a very unusual name and she loves it. Always been an ice breaker in small talk type conversations.

The association I have with the name Troy is the divine Terence Stamp on Far from the Madding Crowd!

I don't know why Troy doesn't appeal to me Rula. It has associations I suppose. It sounds American.
It's a place-name.
It would be fine for a pet.
As you say "horses for courses"
I like unusual names and old fashioned names too but Troy is neither.

*Names are definitely a minefield!
I think if my DC had announced the baby's name was Troy I would have found it hard to say "how lovely darling*

Intriguing! Why not? I think it's a fabulous name and I'm very pleased to have one in the family.

My children have got unusual names. I was determined not to go down the ordinary route.

Horses for courses and all that

Honestly, why are people so rude!

Smileless2012

You may be right Cossy but if not, I agree with M0nica and Furret.

We all have opinions but we don't need to share them. I think in this case it wasn't the first comment it was the carrying on about it. It just seems rude to me.

I've got 8 GC, some have names I like and some have names I don't but I love the children and once you know and love them it doesn't matter.

My children would have no idea which names I immediately loved and which I didn't.

When I went into work and said my new GS had arrived a colleague who I liked asked the name. When I told her she screwed up her nose and said how horrible it was. Totally changed my opinion of her. It wasn't even a wayout name, one of the new generation of royal princes has the name so hardly a strange name.

Are you ok, SigmaNan? 😵‍💫

Sorry, I might of made a mistake.... or grandson.

If I had a granddaughter I'd much rather her be named Troy which I think is lovely than

''Pilot Inspektor''
'Moxie CrimeFighter''
''Techno Mechanicus''
''Exa Dark Sideræl''
''X Æ A-Xii''

Which are real ''names'' some ''celebrity'' idiots called their kids on their birth certificates.

How exactly is ''Æ'' even pronounced?

You didn't birth your granddaughter, your daughter did so I think she and her partner have the right to name their daughter, not you!

As well as ''bridezillas'' and ''groomzillas'' there's also grannyzillas too!

Please keep your nose out or it could cause a lot of trouble between you and your daughter and/or granddaughter as she gets older.

Troy is quite a popular boys' name, especially in the USA.

I have three GCs from two of my children, and none of these GCs was named after any family member. The first was named after a basketball star, the second, after a song title, and the third...just a name. Bob Dylan was right six decades ago: "the times they're achanging." We named our kids; let them name theirs.

Names are definitely a minefield!
I think if my DC had announced the baby's name was Troy I would have found it hard to say "how lovely darling"

But this was before the birth so a chance to influence the choice perhaps?

As it was I like all my DGC names, some family names, some not One though is the name of a very famous actor of the 1950s. When we asked if that was wise, we were told firmly that nobody nowadays would have heard of it. Really! Ofcourse they have. It doesn't matter. The child doesn't mind.
At least it's not the name of a murderer like Cossy's neighbour.

When my DD was pregnant she asked me if I knew any unusual family names she and SiL might think of using . I told her we had an Ezekiel, Archibald ,Maud and Gertrude … !

There doesn’t need to be more to the story than what the OP says for her daughter to be justified. No new mum wants to spend excess time with critical, pushy people, not even your own mum. Just because someone is your child doesn’t mean you’re entitled to time with them regardless of how you treat them. OP openly shows contempt for her daughter’s choices. She won’t stop her open criticism regardless of how many times she’s told to leave it alone. That’s strange behaviour. Too aggressive, too controlling. It’s really simple: Keeping distance from unsupportive relatives is the path of least drama. It’s refreshing to see women who prioritize their own peace, especially during a vulnerable time. Granny will be fine once she learns to relax and interact normally. We all misstep here and there, but persistently forcing our opinions on unwilling parties is not at all healthy behaviour.

We wouldn’t have dreamt of even telling anyone our children’s’ proposed names before they were born. Sometimes the names you have chosen don’t suit them for one. Certainly we would never, ever have asked or told our parents.They probably would have chosen dreadful names.

You may be right Cossy but if not, I agree with M0nica and Furret.

Smileless2012

I don't think the parents choice of the name for their child should be criticised but I don't think that alone justifies cancelled visits, being made to feel that you're not wanted to be around, and certainly not something that could result in estrangement.

Methinks there maybe more to this story

Parents also need to think carefully about names and whether their children will be bullied at school.

I wonder how the girls named Chardonnay like their name? They are probably adults now.

I don't like my first name particularly but the second choice was worse.

What a pair you both are. Yes, it might have been better not to comment but she needs to grow up too.