My daughter has excluded me because I did not like the name she chose for her new baby.

If you dont see that you overstepped the mark and apologise the name will be irrelevant as you will not see the family at all.

DW and I chose our children's names with no thought about what family names might be; the names were unusual, but accepted without demur by the grandparents. In their turn, our children chose their children's names, and we were happy with their choices. One DGC has his grandfathers' first names as his two middle names, but there was no involvement in the choice. It is the parents' prerogative.

OK AIBU of course!

Like LLFL I find it hard to take this seriously.
Grandparents have NO rights whatsoever to even an opinion on a baby’s name.
The name does not define the child, the child will be him or herself and grow up to give a whole new meaning to their name.
“Family “ names are silly, names go in and out of fashion and just because Granny was Joyce, Barbara, Araminta or Doris is no reason to choose that for a baby born in 2025.
So often when Grans ask “SIBU” I am tempted to reply “It’s not all about you”
Heed that and you can’t go far wrong.

I’m not sure I believe this post!

If it’s real, why on earth does the OP think she has any right to choose her grandchild’s name? When my granddaughter was born I was very surprised at the name her parents chose, yet, never in a million years would I make disparaging comments.

I would not have expected any of my grandchildren to have names from the family. It is the parent’s decision and even though I found one or two of the names slightly different I soon got used to it. I love all of their names now the unusual ones just took me by surprise at the time but I didn’t say anything and glad I didn’t.

I wasn’t that keen on DGS2’s name (though it was a shortening of the name on his birth certificate) but I wouldn’t have dreamt of saying so. Of course I’m used to it now. To insist on the use of family names is really bad judgement on your part. Surely the baby is far more important than his name. I’m not surprised your daughter is so annoyed.

Well there’s a surprise isn’t it Cossy, a rather ludicrous OP from a new poster who doesn’t then return, trip trop

Well OP hasn’t returned!

"We tried for a nickname and received anger."

I wonder why?!?

Troy is a lovely name.

Wasn't there a Troy Tempest?

Anyway surely #windup

As others have said, I’m not sure why you think you might be involved in choosing the baby’s name, surely it’s up to the parents. Your job was to smile and say ‘That’s a lovely name’ even if you didn’t like it. At this sensitive time your daughter needed your unconditional support not argument and criticism!

My mother’s first choice names for my brother were either Troy or Paris - he ended up as Adrian Spencer ( middle name after Winston Spencer Churchill).
This was in 1947

"What's in a name" so Shakespeare said.
I know a young man call Troy, it's a fine strong name. My SiL wanted my Grandson to be named Atlas (which is popular now) he wasn't in the end.

It's not your call, just make try to make amends with your DD otherwise it will drag on and you will miss out.

I didn’t know what my grandchildren were going to be called until the day they were born and we had a phone call to say they’d arrived and were called …. Lovely names no problem at all , we’d have loved anything just glad all was ok.

When my first daughter was born my MIL said she didn’t like her name and a few other choice remarks . I told her it didn’t matter whether she liked it or not it was none of her business. When I announced my third pregnancy she had the audacity to ask me why was I having another child! My impression is you are probably her long lost twin

I am rather shocked this the hill you would choose to die on and damage your relationships with. I would also guess that you were told after others because this reaction was completely expected. It sounds like you must eat some humble pie and start respecting the other adults in your family in the decisions that make them happy and should make you happy for them.

This is a wind up. No one is that that stupid.

She's not excluding you because you did not like the name - she is excluding you because you said so out loud!

If this post is real....

Op, do you still wonder why you were not told first?

We’d settled on Daisy for DD1. It wasn’t popular in 1980 and when I (regrettably) told my colleagues at work they all burst out laughing and said it sounded like the farmer’s prize cow. I admit their reaction put us off and we went with our second choice, that DD1 describes as deadly dull. She’d have loved to be Daisy, apparently.

We didn’t discuss our name choices with anyone for the next two - it was a case of this is what they’re called, like it or lump it! We live and learn.

To be quite blunt I would say you should have kept your opinion to yourself. She was obviously happy with the name chosen - her baby, her choice and you've spoilt that for her by telling her you don't like it and then by asking her to include a 'family name'. Your daughter must call her baby whatever she wants it really is not up to you to choose or even have a say. Perhaps you could apologise to her and say you regret trying to change her mind or maybe even say that now you're more used to the name you quite like it?

I don’t think the OP will welcome the comments, but really they are deserved.Not only is Troy a good enough name but it isn’t anyone’s choice but the parents.
Learn to smile sweetly for the future and say ‘how lovely!’ Whatever names they come up with and however outlandish.

And let's not forget the gorgeous Troy in the film, Far From the Madding Crowd.

petra

The only Troy I knew was Troy Donahue who I was madly in love with as a young teenager.

Hence the large number of boys given that name from the 1960s. His real name was Merle!

I wonder how many rows there were in families? No, we are not going to call him Reg or Percy after your father!

I don't think Reginald or Percival have been heard at the font in a very long time but time was, almost everyone had a relative with that name.

Don't let this fester any longer. Write or phone your daughter and apologise for being way out of line over this naming business. The bond between grandchild and grandparent is far too precious to be put at risk.