My daughter has excluded me because I did not like the name she chose for her new baby.

NotSpaghetti. - “it makes me think of Greece” -

it makes me think of Michael Woods, in his crumpled linen, desert booted, intrepid search for Troy, blonde, bronzed,
“the thinking woman’s crumpet” or was that womens’

We were disappointed that DH's name was not included as one of our grandson's names, as it is a very old family name over generations. They chose not to, and included the name from his family side, which is very common. We never said a word, and accepted it with grace- as it is none of our business at all, as grand-parents.

As it is none of yours.

Troy is a perfectly reasonable name! It is non of your business what name your DD chooses for her child. You have had your children - it's their turn now. Apologies, grovel , do what is necessary to get back in her good books.

You sound like my awful MIL who, on meeting her first dgc said ‘I hate the name, I will never call her this, I will choose a better name’. That was before saying hello or anything else.
She just proved what a c@w she was, and things never improved.
It wouldn’t have even crossed my mind to butt in when DS and DDIL had my DGCs.
Sadly the damage you’ve done could take years to erase.

I'm not sure what you are wanting. Maybe just to "say your frustration outloud". I hope so, and that you have got over it now.

I do not think it's an unpleasant name at all. It feels very strong to me and makes me think of ancient Greece. It speaks to me of someone very handsome actually!

Two of my grandchildren have names I wouldn't have chosen. One very old and one very new.
I have grown to love them because they now bring thoughts of my family to the fore.

My mother (especially) didn't like my older son's name. It's very short so she wanted me to use another name (a traditional one) that would "could shorten to our chosen name as a nickname".
I'm afraid we just laughed at this silly suggestion. She had the privilege of choosing my name and we had the privilege of choosing our little boy's.

I hope you can grow into this name - I'm sure you will.

Regarding family names... my mother suggested this and it makes me wonder why.
One of our granddaughters has my first name as a middle name. It's not a name I'd choose!

A family second name is maybe an interesting idea if you have a long history of (say) Archibald... or Beatrice or whatever - but I did once know a boy whose family went back many years and all had "Mary" as a middle name, boys and girls alike.

keepingquiet

I really don't know if this is a wind-up? Only parents have the right to name their child... you had your turn.

I am very close to my granddaughter and very involved with her life. She is expecting a baby soon but I wouldn’t dream of getting involved with names unless asked. It’s entirely up to the patents, definitely not the grandparents.

Skydancer

It seems that the lovely traditional names have all but disappeared. Most children now seem to have ridiculous made-up names. Troy is far better than some I’ve heard of lately but I’d find it hard to hide my feelings just like the OP.

My DM used to say this all the time, made up names and then would get cross when I pointed out, with a wry smile, that all some point all names were made up

BlueBelle

Most of my grandchildren have out of norm names not way out but not average either I think that’s great none have family names
Absolutely nothing to do with you at all and you would be fine if you hadn’t gone on about it
Troy s not exactly way out I thought you meant something like ‘Toilet’ or ‘Greenforest’ or something but even if it was nothing to do with you at all

😂😂😂

I don’t know why you need to like anybody’s name. I don’t like the name of one of my friends. That is neither here nor there.It doesn’t make any difference to how I feel about her.

Cold

There are even 564 in Sweden that have Troy as a first name ... more than have my (more traditional English speaking name) name

There you go! It's a good, strong name. All the Scandi dramas I watch on TV seem to star male actors who look at though they have been carved out of granite.

I hope all this positivity is making OP think again that this is good name that her daughter has chosen and that the rift can be healed.

It seems that the lovely traditional names have all but disappeared. Most children now seem to have ridiculous made-up names. Troy is far better than some I’ve heard of lately but I’d find it hard to hide my feelings just like the OP.

Must say I have sympathy for anyone who really doesn’t like a name chosen for a grandchild. I’m still thankful that dd didn’t choose to call Gds anything like Otis, which a friend had to pretend (glued-on smile through gritted teeth) to like.

Tbh it was extremely foolish and quite rude to comment.

Maybe she didn’t like any family names!

I couldn’t care less what names my children give their children, it makes no difference whatsoever. Their child, their choice!

There are even 564 in Sweden that have Troy as a first name ... more than have my (more traditional English speaking name) name

It isn’t out there at all.

A quick check of the genealogy site FreeBMD shows it’s been given as a name in England and Wales since civil registration first began in 1837 (and so before that) albeit usually the longer version.

The short version was extremely popular in the 1960s and 1970s, I suspect after a certain American film and TV actor and other media personalities, and continues to be popular.

Frre BMD records over 3000 boys in England and Wales were given the name between 1960 and 1990.

Ancestry records 115,000 births worldwide between 1970 and 1990, 165,000 between 1980 and 2000.

First law of grandparenting, keep your mouth shut. It's up to the parents to name their child.
I hope you are soon reconciled and all will be well. But just take a step back..

My DD wouldn’t tell us their chosen name for ourGD until the day she was born. She said she wanted it to be a surprise. In the event she had a lovely name that suits her really well but I wouldn’t have cared what name she was given I would still adore her.
Just think yourself lucky that the father isn’t Elon Musk. Goodness only knows what name he’d be given then!

Most of my grandchildren have out of norm names not way out but not average either I think that’s great none have family names
Absolutely nothing to do with you at all and you would be fine if you hadn’t gone on about it
Troy s not exactly way out I thought you meant something like ‘Toilet’ or ‘Greenforest’ or something but even if it was nothing to do with you at all

A big NoNo, Parents child, Parents choice.
I would have no way got involved with naming my Grandsons, as I would have not expected any interference from my Parents , in naming my Son's.

It’s all been said about parents choice but I’ve always found that even if you are not keen about a name the children kind of grow into it
As a child I disliked my name and used to get cross when my mum objected when school friends shortened it. Mum obviously thought it was a lovely name

Oh dear. Always best to keep the lip zipped. I love all our gc’s names but would never have commented if I hadn’t approved.
I remember discussing names for our first baby and the shrieks of horror from some relatives when we suggested Flora. ‘You can’t call your baby after a margarine!’ Flora marg had recently come on the market 🤦‍♀️.

Parents name their children. Grandparents keep their counsel. Best way forward in all things .

Ambergreen, I know you meant no harm , but you should have kept it zipped !
In fairness , you really would want to choose your own child 's name, wouldn't you ?
From what I've seen on these pages and experienced myself , "grandparenting" is almost wholly on their (the parents) terms.
That is your challenge...... should you choose to accept it.

sorry ambergreen this is all your own fault and i don't blame your daughter for being angry with you, my son's name is not family and the other 15 children being my siblings kids and there kids do not have any family names. the name or middle name had nothing to do with you, my name is not family related but my other 4 sibling all have family related names. i am a gran but i do know when to keep my nose out, maybe you should do the same.

My daughter and her partner had enough trouble agreeing between themselves about their children's names, we certainly didn't add to the confusion!

My son and his wife are expecting soon and have been discussing names, but we're quite happy to wait for the final decision come the day.

This is their time, we've had ours 🤗