Hoarding

My mother was a hoarder, not to the extent of mr Trebus the Polish man on a tv programme years ago, but she suffered huge losses in her youth and was left without a home or
possessions, which affected her all of her life.
I am a bit like her but a watered down version,
Does anyone remember Mr Trebus? I don’t think I will ever forget him.

M0nica

Hoarding is recognised as a mental illness, which rises, as the result of trauma. as others have pointed out. Some years ago there was a programme on C called 'The Hoarder next door' presented by a lovely university pyschologist called Stellos Kiosses, who treated those featuring on the programme with gentleness and understanding.

Thanks, I could remember the programmes but not his name.

Memo to self - "Do not post when someone is asking you a question."

Good post! 😃

Grandmabatty

I don't think hoarders have a 'that might be useful ' sense of belongings. I think it's connected to trauma and needs to be carefully unpicked by a professional therapist, and that's only if the hoarder allows. People who hoard have an overly emotional attachment to objects and it hurts them to get rid of them. You cannot get rid of their stuff, unfortunately. My late uncle 'collected' all his adult life. He, my aunt and my dad were orphaned very young and their belongings were either discarded or given away. I could understand why he needed to cling to belongings. In a way, it's like an addiction. The hoarder has to want to change and go through with it

Goid post, GrandmaBatty.

People who hoard do they did suffer from extreme anxiety.

We have paperwork dating back years too but it's all in files, thanks to DH. (hence my ability to find out exactly what our household fuel bill was 5 years ago on another thread). I want to cull books, all on bookshelves, or boxes in the attic, not in piles on the floor, but he doesn't.

I do hang on to things too but would say our house is generally neat and tidy, or is when we have no-one staying.

Often, if I get rid of something, I need that item a month or so later.

Hoarding is recognised as a mental illness, which rises, as the result of trauma. as others have pointed out. Some years ago there was a programme on C called 'The Hoarder next door' presented by a lovely university pyschologist called Stellos Kiosses, who treated those featuring on the programme with gentleness and understanding.

I have both living and deceased close family members and friends who hoard/hoarded.
I don't believe they have any option but to live the way they do. Intervention, medication, therapy (if available) has not made a sustainable difference.
Each person who hoards is an individual, not all are unkempt and dirty, or live in squalor. I have a friend who hoards books, she would never recognise she is a hoarder, she is highly successful, high functioning, but the lengths she goes to store books is hoarding.
No matter how difficult it is do not judge, do not criticise and do not clean, move, dispose of any of their belongings without their absolute consent (and l would say active participation).

You will know, NanaT Tuesday, how softly you have to tread and probably emotional support is all you'll be able to offer. Moving a cup, removing a newspaper may cause the person who hoards to lose any trust they gave in you and communication will be lost.
All the people l know that hoard are very nice people, trying to cope with lives complicated by mental disorder. I always feel honoured (for want if a better word) that they trust me enough to be open about their condition. I see beyond the hoarding, l see the person.

Grandmabatty

I don't think hoarders have a 'that might be useful ' sense of belongings. I think it's connected to trauma and needs to be carefully unpicked by a professional therapist, and that's only if the hoarder allows. People who hoard have an overly emotional attachment to objects and it hurts them to get rid of them. You cannot get rid of their stuff, unfortunately. My late uncle 'collected' all his adult life. He, my aunt and my dad were orphaned very young and their belongings were either discarded or given away. I could understand why he needed to cling to belongings. In a way, it's like an addiction. The hoarder has to want to change and go through with it

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Having seen many tv programmes on this sad hoarding habit it’s always connected to past trauma.

The charity MIND lists contacts relevant to hoarding - this is the link.

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/hoarding/useful-contacts-for-hoarding/

Samsara1

I met several people with this issue in my time as a District Nurse. I'm afraid there is often nothing you can do until there is a crisis. It is and you say a Mental Health issue and its going to need professional help to make any difference. I am sorry for the worry this is giving you and I hope the crisis is more social than dangerous.

My DD is also a District Nurse & in this instance she says that they would not enter the property.
This in fact was the case not long ago upon a hospital discharge , other arrangement made via GP appointments not being kept all resulting in that 999 call .
Yes, the person is not going to change I am aware of that far too old & also I realise this is a trauma & have knowledge of the reasons behind this which go back to childhood & beyond .

All help is & has been refused for many years the request for me to gain access was actually a breakthrough.
But not entirely a pleasant one once the door was opened.

I don't think hoarders have a 'that might be useful ' sense of belongings. I think it's connected to trauma and needs to be carefully unpicked by a professional therapist, and that's only if the hoarder allows. People who hoard have an overly emotional attachment to objects and it hurts them to get rid of them. You cannot get rid of their stuff, unfortunately. My late uncle 'collected' all his adult life. He, my aunt and my dad were orphaned very young and their belongings were either discarded or given away. I could understand why he needed to cling to belongings. In a way, it's like an addiction. The hoarder has to want to change and go through with it

I met several people with this issue in my time as a District Nurse. I'm afraid there is often nothing you can do until there is a crisis. It is and you say a Mental Health issue and its going to need professional help to make any difference. I am sorry for the worry this is giving you and I hope the crisis is more social than dangerous.

Sadly, some people live by the mantra "that might come in useful......" so it's easy, when you step back, to imagine how things can get out of hand.
Piles of stuff seem to turn into a security blanket.