Granddaughter getting married in California (OC), budget decisions

liamsunsunnix my son in OC is very conscious of the weather there as they have sea breezes. They will have thought of the weather.

I'm sure they will choose a venue that is just right for them and hopefully you will all have a perfect day.

Cold

The other think to check on is what the plan B would be in the event of bad weather?

Valid point, but my head is spinning already. I will remind them if needed, but I hope they've taught of it already.

Visgir1

Can you just say, you had "X" amount put aside for her, she can do what she likes with it? If she wants a more expensive wedding then they know they have to add more.
Hope you all have a fabulous day when it happens.

That would probably be the best. Thanks for the wishes!

NotSpaghetti

I think those of us who haven't planned a wedding in years have no idea the cost of these things if the couple want all the bells and whistles.

Also, my son and wife didn't want a venue where their friends had been married.
I think this is pretty common.

If the $40,000 includes everything I expect it's pretty normal in Orange county for 150 people.
Just eating out in somewhere lovely is an arm and a leg there it seems to me... and weddings are a huge industry!

Just a quick Google brings this up:
Average wedding cost in Orange CA with 100 to 150 guests is between $33,631 and $41,105

wedding.report/index.cfm/action/wedding_cost.estimate/budgetid/554655EC-B83E-4609-8B1B7AE0EF07071D#:~:text=Average%20wedding%20cost%20in%20Orange,is%20between%20%2433%2C631%20and%20%2441%2C105

I don't think this is advertising BTW (for those of you who are suspicious of anything). The OP has posted before you know!

Thank you for taking the time, I appreciate it. I was under the impression it would be for the venue only, but there is a good chance I didn't pay enough attention. And yes, I don't post often, but I've been around here, if I'm not mistaken, since 2022. So....

Can you just say, you had "X" amount put aside for her, she can do what she likes with it? If she wants a more expensive wedding then they know they have to add more.
Hope you all have a fabulous day when it happens.

liamsunsunnix knows what she can afford to give.
I think she wanted to know if she could point out cheaper venues and ask the couple to reconsider spending so much on the wedding.

I think many of us say no, don't do that. Let them do what they want (because they will spend it anyway). They will have a very different idea regarding what they want of the day.

I do hope your granddaughter has a truly lovely day.
My mother-in-law gave a sum in cash to each of my children as they married. I know she would have wanted it (ideally) to go towards a home or savings or something substantial but she was wise enough not to ask!

Have a chat with her parents liamsunsunnix - but don't make your gift anything but the generous acknowledgement of love that you know it is.

It's their wedding they should pay for it themselves. Both my children paid for their own weddings they set a budget and stuck to it . I did offer but would only have been able to give them £200 . They told me no they choose to marry and it was there responsibility to pay for it . My niece and her fiancé paid for their own wedding and wouldn't take anything from my brother . As they said it was their responsibility same as my children.

When I got married we paid for our own wedding . I had my wedding dressing made it cost £40 including the material this was in 1981 my shoes where £50 . But I knew I would wear the shoes again but the dress once . Had another dress for the evening do . And wore it for many years.

Why should parents or grandparents in this day and age pay to their children's or grandchildren's weddings.

I know you have said you will give them some money towards their wedding . Have you got other grandchildren if so will you do the same ?

Do you have any idea about roughly how much money your granddaughter is expecting you to contribute? Have you committed yourself to anything, such as paying for the reception? What does your granddaughter (or her parents) think the budget is? Can you ask her parents what your granddaughter is expecting from you?

I’d be more than a little concerned that I was being expected to contributed far more than I’d envisaged. I agree entirely that a largish sum of money could be much better spent.

Cold because it seems to involve a meal and speeches and thanks, gifts etc the night before the wedding itself.

Paid for by the groom (or maybe groom's parents??)

It's not just a run through at the church/venue!

The other think to check on is what the plan B would be in the event of bad weather?

NotSpaghetti

Yes. The "rehearsal" is a strange notion! 🤣🤣🤣

Why is the rehearsal a strange notion?

Yes. The "rehearsal" is a strange notion! 🤣🤣🤣

Things tend to be done differently in the States. I've been to a few occasions over the years as my eldest DD lives there. Do you need to visit in the summer or is that when the wedding is? If not, save the expense of two visits and splash the cash on the big one and enjoy.

I forgot to say, liamsunsunnix that my son and daughter-in-law also looked at venues in and near to Orange County as they have their home there (though currently living elsewhere). The "nicer" venues were an amazing price - some charging $350 a guest.

My suggestion was to try to avoid a Saturday wedding if they wanted to reduce costs a bit because it would give people who were a bit further out of the family/close friendship group a chance to say "sorry I'm working" and close family and friends would happily take the day off.

They chose a Friday in the end -a sort of half-way price - but they decided on a UK stately-home type wedding which was so lovely for us as my (then) 99 year old mother-in-law could attend without the stress of flying for 11 hours!

Regarding gifts of money - we transferred what we felt able to give and they decided how to spend it.
... they chose to spend a lot as it happens.
I'm glad I don't know where (most of it) went as I'm sure I would have gritted my teeth somewhat!

Sago

This is advertising, don’t be sucked in.

Not the first time the OP has contributed to Gransnet.

I understand how you feel. To me expensive weddings are a terrible waste for just one day, but they seem to need to out- wedding the other weddings of their friends.
Your gd parents and his parents for that matter, ought to be the first call for £££ before they look to you.
Dont offer too much because it will be difficult to reduce if need be, better offer less and increase if you choose nearer the time.
I am assuming you are in the US, just a distance away. Otherwise you will have heavy travel costs to add to everything else,

I'd be happy, not concerned. Their wedding, their choices.

You need to be certain that you are comparing like with like. If the £40K includes everything then that may not be unreasonable.

The link you posted seems to be venue hire only and doesn't include seem to include caterers, serving staff, table decorations, services charges and tips, entertainment etc

The link you posted requires you to use one of the venue's approved outside caterers for the wedding. You are not allowed to organise your own food and drink - the catering cost and staff will significantly add to the bill

Some places quote you a price for using the venue for 4 to 5 hours so if you want more time - wedding, photos, dinner and dancing etc that take you over this time will cost extra.

I think those of us who haven't planned a wedding in years have no idea the cost of these things if the couple want all the bells and whistles.

Also, my son and wife didn't want a venue where their friends had been married.
I think this is pretty common.

If the $40,000 includes everything I expect it's pretty normal in Orange county for 150 people.
Just eating out in somewhere lovely is an arm and a leg there it seems to me... and weddings are a huge industry!

Just a quick Google brings this up:
Average wedding cost in Orange CA with 100 to 150 guests is between $33,631 and $41,105

wedding.report/index.cfm/action/wedding_cost.estimate/budgetid/554655EC-B83E-4609-8B1B7AE0EF07071D#:~:text=Average%20wedding%20cost%20in%20Orange,is%20between%20%2433%2C631%20and%20%2441%2C105

I don't think this is advertising BTW (for those of you who are suspicious of anything). The OP has posted before you know!

foxie48

When my daughter got married I gave them a generous budget to be spent how they liked ( on the wedding or on a car) and they paid for anything over the budget if they chose to have a very expensive wedding. Their day, their choice, my money!

Thanks for sharing, I am leaning towards this way of thinking. Actually, that's basically how I feel. I just see some bad times coming and am concerned about their future.

To everyone participating, thank you so much, I really appreciate it.

To you saying I'm here to advertise, I can't prove you wrong, all I'll say is - links are shared here and I explained why I shared this one.

Sarnia

It is their wedding day, not yours. Keep your concerns to yourself.

You are always SO rude and abrupt! Can’t you ever be kind? If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all (unless it’s in response to a post like yours)!

Sago

This is advertising, don’t be sucked in.

This was my first thought.

Sago

This is advertising, don’t be sucked in.

Yes I think so too. Selling the place in the link.

When my daughter got married I gave them a generous budget to be spent how they liked ( on the wedding or on a car) and they paid for anything over the budget if they chose to have a very expensive wedding. Their day, their choice, my money!