Feelings of self doubt

It is just banter. They both love their mother

Yes indeed carenzal23, I worry more about them now than I did when they were little. At least then I had the super-power of being their Mum & chief- protecter. That said, at least they have fledged & are living life to the full. 😊

We always worry about our children - no matter how old they are - and so it should be.

When my son was leaving for a long journey home I asked him to text me when he got home safe. His reply was Mum I'm 53 not 15. And I still worry about you I replied. He did text me to let me know he was back and has done ever since.

I'm 83. My boys are always telling me what to do and what not to do. It's meant well, so it doesn't worry me.

My adult children have a WhatsApp group about me. They started it a few years ago when I was very ill.

They may or may not have one about my husband🤷‍♂️

I know they talk about us!

My adult "Boy's" have a WhatsApp group and discuss all our future plans between themselves!
My youngest let it slip the other day. I actually went into a bit of a teenagery sulk.
How very dare they! Hmmmph.

My adult children roll their eyes at ne a lot...
I do also roll my eyes at them!

Nothing to see here, very normal Caleo

Don’t worry about it, it’s a mum thing.
Our son had a late, very long drive last week after a very busy day. I asked my DIL to make sure he had a coffee before he set off. Her reply was he’s an adult 🙈 She’s right 🤣

Lathyrus3

Probably unnecessary but that’s what mothers do.

He can ignore you. That’s what children do.

I don’t think you need to beat yourself up about it.

(Am actually at the stage where my (very adult) children proffer wanted advice for me to ignore.)

Exactly this 🙈

I would remind son #2 that this is what mothers do and tell him (with a smile) to butt out.

It sounds as though your son appreciated your good advice and even if he didn't need it. I am sure he knew that it came from a good place and you were being caring not stupid.

I am sure neither of your sons would like it if you didn't care about them. Don't beat yourself up. You only said the sort of thing that most GN's might say in a similar situation. Your sons are lucky to have you.

In my experience grown up children often criticise and they usually have no idea how hurtful it can be if they catch you on the raw.

OldFrill

I think no 2 son should mind his own business. Just totally ignore it. Silence is the moral high ground with gobby sons 😀

And daughters!

It’s instinctive to offer helpful advice to our children, whatever their age. You did the right thing Caleo and son no. 2 was insensitive to criticise you. Please stop worrying.

Please don't worry about it, we never stop bring a mother. It was in fact sound advice if your son does not have a downstairs loo - that prep. stuff is dynamite!!!!

Son number 2 was in the wrong.
You were right, and son 1 was happy to accept your advice.

Personally, with this type of thing, the way I take how your son 2 reacted, can depend how strong or not I am feeling, on the actual day it happened.

Isn't this what happens between mothers and grown up children all the time?

The worry would be if they didn't do this. That would be a real sign of indifference to you.

Yes it’s funny how they dish out what they wouldn’t take😬

Sometimes I pull them up, sometimes I shrug it off, sometimes they’re right and I take it on board.

Too late to say “Nothing to do with you” though thas the truth.

I think no 2 son should mind his own business. Just totally ignore it. Silence is the moral high ground with gobby sons 😀

I am too sensitive to criticism of my behaviour as I don't get out much.

Caleo please don't worry about it. Second son was probably having a bad day and took it out on you.

It is what children do unfortunately (even adult ones) but as Lathyrus said we can ignore what they say too.

Have a cup of tea or a glass of wine and forget it - your second son probably has already.

I'm not worrying about the suggestion to my older son about his colonoscopy prep. He actually thanked me for the thought.

What concerns me is that son number two thought it a good idea to criticise me for suggesting it at all. If son number two had said as you did Lathyrus, "That's what mothers do" I'd have been happy.

I can't imagine him criticising anyone else's behaviour. He has lots of friends and a happy family.

I agree it was unnecessary, but no harm done, he can ignore it.

unwanted unwanted

Freudian slip………..

Probably unnecessary but that’s what mothers do.

He can ignore you. That’s what children do.

I don’t think you need to beat yourself up about it.

(Am actually at the stage where my (very adult) children proffer wanted advice for me to ignore.)