Is what I have done so very wrong?.

You haven't done anything wrong, it was a lovely thing to do.

Your daughter was completely over reacting. Leave her be for a bit to cool off and see sense.

you,ve cared for your grandchild and took her back and forth to preschool, and instead of being greatful she's making you feel as if you've done something wrong, which you haven't
It may be that she's feeling stressed and thinks it should be her instead of you giving a gift, What you did was a nice gesture, don't worry about it ,your daughter will come round

I think she sees it as you taking over her position which she is missing….. the school gate days ……but I totally see where you’re coming from you were the one having daily contact, so why not, she’s probably a bit sad that she has to get someone else to do the school run when she’d really like to be the full on mum stuff I can see it from both sides
I d try and forget about it

OP - that was a very nice thing to do. I wish I did the same when I was doing school runs for my grandchildren. Had I done so, I don’t think my daughter would have been upset with me. As someone asked - do you think it’s PND - my daughter had a few grumpy days during that time.
Don’t worry , she’ll soon come round. She needs you 😂

I think u did a very kind thing and I myself would’ve done the same

It's like walking on egg shells wih this generation.
It was very thoughful of you.

Term time, not terms of time. (Predictive text, wish there was an edit button).

I’m sorry, but your daughter needs to give her head a wobble.
Her reaction has been totally over the top, uncalled for and frankly, rude.
I wonder how she’ll be behaving towards you nearer to September? Possibly be busy the first couple of weeks, maybe go on holiday - it’s less expensive in terms of time, and let her sort herself out for a bit. It might help her realise what an ungrateful madam she has been.
I don’t think it’s a generational thing at all, I think it’s a rude thing.

Agree with Grandma Batty and she may think that school is her territory, but her reaction is extraordinary.
Suggest don’t refer to it again, will surely blow over.

Perhaps daughter needs something more pressing to worry about.

How rude.

Thanks to all.as it really was an very intense reaction.
She is very much of the mindset mentioned by Sarnia, in that her grandad and I have ro be so careful of the way we speak around her.
And we are very current in our thinking, yet frequently reprimanded for words we use.

Hence me.tjinking it's a generational thing.

You've done nothing wrong! Honestly, I despair of the next generation, some of them take offence so easily at the least little thing, and use their parents as punching bags. Talk about over-reaction!

Re the apology - I have a friend who says sometimes you're sorry you've said or done something, for example in this case because it's caused a hooha, but that doesn't mean you're apologising because you think that what you did was wrong It always makes me smile.

Gifts are for giving freely! It was just a gesture. You've done nothing wrong. You've said you're sorry and that should be the end of it. Hopefully your daughter will get over it.

I don't think there's any value in trying to second guess why she reacted like she did, or fretting over her state of mind. It's simply an overreaction.

ExDancer

Is she expecting you to ferry her daughter to and from school in September? She'll have to get over herself by then.

Oh yes!😄

AuntieE

Frankly, I think your daughter should grow up and act her age!

You made a poliite gesture to some people whom you have interacted with for two years.

I wonder what on earth could make your daughter feel that she is the only person who has any right to thank her child's teachers for anything.

You have apologised for inadvertently hurting your daughter, which was right and kind of you, but please leave it at that.

If she comes out of her huff, well and good. If not, then I am afraid there is nothing more you can do.

And yes, I think it may well be a generational thing, but that does not mean that your daughter is right and you are wrong.

Good comments 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
What is it with that generation to make them so self obsessed?

When you were doing the pre-school run you were in loco parentis and you were in effect performing the action of a parent. In my opinion, the fact that you did it so regularly for two years and built up a good relationship with the staff gives you every right to give them a present to show your appreciation. Whether you told your DD you were going to do this or not is irrelevant.

Presumably she will be asking you to do some taking and collecting when new GC goes to pre-school.

It doesn't matter what posters here say, your daughter thinks otherwise

May I ask if this is the first incident of the kind to happen?

In general, what may seem an overreaction from the outside it is the another papercut for another

OP I think you did a nice thing...i would have done the same
our daughters can be a bit overreactive...

I always make a point of saying thank you to my GC's teachers at the end of the school year. As you say, when you are a regular in the playground you get to know others.
I think it is today's Mums. They take offence at the smallest thing. A friend of mine happened to say to her 4 year old GD what a good girl she had been after sitting quietly in a restaurant. Her daughter went off the deep end. Saying she was good also implied that she could be bad!!! Honestly, you couldn't make it up.
As a previous poster says, see how put out she is come September. You have apologised although I can't see why so let her gently simmer and calm down.

I think you should cut your daughter a bit of slack and just wait a bit. No one is quite themselves when they have just had a baby are they. She just over reacted a bit. I can see why you are upset but I do think things will soon settle down.

Is she expecting you to ferry her daughter to and from school in September? She'll have to get over herself by then.

I think your daughter may be tired and feeling a bit sensitive. I would ignore her reaction , she's got a new baby . You've been taking your Grandaughter and picking her up so it's natural you've formed a connection with the staff and wanted to thank them . Maybe she feels a bit sad that she hadn't been free to do the preschool runs because of work commitments, all these feelings can be intense after a new baby . I don't think you've crossed boundaries at all . Give her the space she wants but I'm sure it will be shortlived .

How ridiculous. It is a massive over reaction! You have done so much to help her, built up a relationship with the staff at your grandchild’s pre school and given a present to show your appreciation to all the staff for all they do for all the children. You’ve apologised so now lie low. Maybe she’ll realise in time that she has seriously over reacted and then apologise to you. She’s very lucky to have had your help for so long.

Oh the fun of grown up daughters

Thinking of you xxxx