Is what I have done so very wrong?.

Of course there was nothing wrong with it! Your daughter’s reaction is way OTT and frankly bonkers.

See how much space she wants in September …

Seriously, if you’ve explained and apologised and she still won’t respond you don’t have a lot of choice. Let’s hope she’ll get over it.

Thank you , I needed to ask to reassure myself!

I think you did overstep a bit. If your daughter already had given a gift, I think that was enough. Possibly she's a bit hormonal too, having recently given birth. I would apologise profusely to her, and promise you won't do it again.

I can understand why you did it. I,too, have a really good relationship with dgs2's key teacher and the other ladies in his nursery. However I wouldn't take them a gift at the end of the year. I do bake them cakes at different times

Totally agree with Witzend.

Quite honestly I don’t think it’s any of her business who you give gifts to. If anyone is crossing a boundary it’s her.

Frankly, I think your daughter should grow up and act her age!

You made a poliite gesture to some people whom you have interacted with for two years.

I wonder what on earth could make your daughter feel that she is the only person who has any right to thank her child's teachers for anything.

You have apologised for inadvertently hurting your daughter, which was right and kind of you, but please leave it at that.

If she comes out of her huff, well and good. If not, then I am afraid there is nothing more you can do.

And yes, I think it may well be a generational thing, but that does not mean that your daughter is right and you are wrong.

I think your daughter is being too precious. Your gift was no slight on hers. Surely you can BOTH say thank you to the staff?
Sheesh.

Talk about having to walk on bluddy eggshells….

Quote Pantglas2 Fri 11-Jul-25 13:29:34
See how much space she wants in September …

This made me laugh! 😂

Hi , no she hadn't at the time done anything, it really was on my part the most simplistic of a friendly gesture to people doing a great job , a three quid box.of biscuits and nice words has caused so much upset.
It want my place apparently

Me too thankfully

May she has PND ? Things tend to loom large with this. I think what you did was lovely.

And it doesn’t matter ‘who was first’.
It’s not a competition.

Oh the fun of grown up daughters

Thinking of you xxxx

How ridiculous. It is a massive over reaction! You have done so much to help her, built up a relationship with the staff at your grandchild’s pre school and given a present to show your appreciation to all the staff for all they do for all the children. You’ve apologised so now lie low. Maybe she’ll realise in time that she has seriously over reacted and then apologise to you. She’s very lucky to have had your help for so long.

I think your daughter may be tired and feeling a bit sensitive. I would ignore her reaction , she's got a new baby . You've been taking your Grandaughter and picking her up so it's natural you've formed a connection with the staff and wanted to thank them . Maybe she feels a bit sad that she hadn't been free to do the preschool runs because of work commitments, all these feelings can be intense after a new baby . I don't think you've crossed boundaries at all . Give her the space she wants but I'm sure it will be shortlived .

Is she expecting you to ferry her daughter to and from school in September? She'll have to get over herself by then.

I think you should cut your daughter a bit of slack and just wait a bit. No one is quite themselves when they have just had a baby are they. She just over reacted a bit. I can see why you are upset but I do think things will soon settle down.

I always make a point of saying thank you to my GC's teachers at the end of the school year. As you say, when you are a regular in the playground you get to know others.
I think it is today's Mums. They take offence at the smallest thing. A friend of mine happened to say to her 4 year old GD what a good girl she had been after sitting quietly in a restaurant. Her daughter went off the deep end. Saying she was good also implied that she could be bad!!! Honestly, you couldn't make it up.
As a previous poster says, see how put out she is come September. You have apologised although I can't see why so let her gently simmer and calm down.

OP I think you did a nice thing...i would have done the same
our daughters can be a bit overreactive...

It doesn't matter what posters here say, your daughter thinks otherwise

May I ask if this is the first incident of the kind to happen?

In general, what may seem an overreaction from the outside it is the another papercut for another

When you were doing the pre-school run you were in loco parentis and you were in effect performing the action of a parent. In my opinion, the fact that you did it so regularly for two years and built up a good relationship with the staff gives you every right to give them a present to show your appreciation. Whether you told your DD you were going to do this or not is irrelevant.

Presumably she will be asking you to do some taking and collecting when new GC goes to pre-school.

AuntieE

Frankly, I think your daughter should grow up and act her age!

You made a poliite gesture to some people whom you have interacted with for two years.

I wonder what on earth could make your daughter feel that she is the only person who has any right to thank her child's teachers for anything.

You have apologised for inadvertently hurting your daughter, which was right and kind of you, but please leave it at that.

If she comes out of her huff, well and good. If not, then I am afraid there is nothing more you can do.

And yes, I think it may well be a generational thing, but that does not mean that your daughter is right and you are wrong.

Good comments 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
What is it with that generation to make them so self obsessed?