A Touch Too Sensitive ?

Create a hefty price list for repairs, it's income.

You ex- neighbour clearly has her own problem with probably stressed teenager and broken zip in a prom dress. Trivial to you, but probably more significant to her. She might not realise quite how much your friend’s diagnosis has affected you practically and emotionally. It is a bit thoughtless, but I wouldn’t take it too badly. It sounds like you handled it well in the circumstances.

I am interested in the unwritten back story of your relationships with neighbours, Aura. You seem to be very kind to neighbours, and I wish more neighbourhoods contained people as kind.

I apologise to BlueBelle . That was not what you actually said.

Concerning sweat shop jeans: in online discussions posters often write something tangential to the main topic. It's ridiculous to call it "rude " behaviour.

I'd ignore the request to do work for her for free. Simply don't reply

I think she was softening you up by asking about the person who is sick. Of course, you can direct her to the place in your area that does alterations, because - aren't you too upset and busy, right now, to even think of perhaps ruining a prom dress?

Have you offered to alter anything for her in the past? If not ,then definitely say no,sorry, I don’t do that sort of work. The insensitivity!

For well under £20 , many well known jeans brands can be bought in good charity shops, and our local peacocks sell for under £20!

BlueBelle

nahsma

BlueBelle

Blimey you could buy a new pair of jeans for that Astitchintime

But only cheap nasty ones made by slave labour in China or children in BanglaDesh. Buying “disposable” clothes damages the poor people who are forced to make them and the planet we live on. Don't buy so much. Buy ethically.

You need to get your facts right Nashma I am a great advocate to NOT buy off Temu Shein and the like, you need to read some of my comments in other threads

I do not buy off these sites so you may like to take your uncalled judgement of me back

Do tell where you can buy jeans for £20.

nahsma

BlueBelle

Blimey you could buy a new pair of jeans for that Astitchintime

But only cheap nasty ones made by slave labour in China or children in BanglaDesh. Buying “disposable” clothes damages the poor people who are forced to make them and the planet we live on. Don't buy so much. Buy ethically.

You need to get your facts right Nashma I am a great advocate to NOT buy off Temu Shein and the like, you need to read some of my comments in other threads

I do not buy off these sites so you may like to take your uncalled judgement of me back

Nashma...what a rude comment !

A bit overly sensitive but not a nice way of her asking either

BlueBelle

Blimey you could buy a new pair of jeans for that Astitchintime

But only cheap nasty ones made by slave labour in China or children in BanglaDesh. Buying “disposable” clothes damages the poor people who are forced to make them and the planet we live on. Don't buy so much. Buy ethically.

Astitchintime

Do the dress repair and charge a princely sum……then donate the money to a brain cancer charity.

Great idea?

Tell her what you told us, your skill set doesnt include alterations. Any anyway, you are far too busy with supporting your friend.

I would have said “I’m sorry I have just been floored by my friend’s sad news. Due to this upset, I could not cope with any more demands on my time just now”. It is very draining on you energy levels when loved ones aren’t well.

No, I do not think you are being over-sensitive, at all.

Your neighbour has a cheek asking you to replace a zip, just because she knows you are a sewing teacher! Especially knowing as she does the situation with your terminally ill friend.

The words which all sewists, amateur and professional, dread most? “It’ll only take you five minutes”.

I would say the main thing is the pain you are feeling about your friend's brain tumour. It is shocking and sadly part of life's journey to experience the serious illness and suffering of one's friends and contemporaries.
Emotional intelligence is, I find, rarer than other kinds of intelligence. Those who empathise appropriately are like gold dust, and merit being treasured accordingly.

AmberGran

It's very hard for people to understand how others feel if they haven't experienced the same thing. If she's not living your life along side you she probably has no idea what you are going through, no matter how much you tell her.

I think that's why she was able to ask you to do the zip - because she simply doesn't understand exactly what you've got on your plate. The simple answer is 'I'm sorry, my dear, I barely have time to breathe right now. You'll have to take it to someone else if you want it done within the next three months.'

Very good advice imo!

Allsorts

Say you haven't time.

Well said! I now make the 'friends' who appear with 'little sewing jobs' unpick there own zips, find and buy the correct replacement + cotton etc. (I do give a quick lesson on how remove the zip correctly )

OP, sorry to here you are going through this with your friend, and you did the right thing not doing the alteration.

Astitchintime, ooh I’m jealous that you are that good at sewing. I just don’t have that much talent.

Say you haven't time.

BlueBelle

Blimey you could buy a new pair of jeans for that Astitchintime

The OP was asked to replace a damaged zip in a prom dress, not in a pair of jeans. And FWIW, trouser/jeans zips are one of the first things done during construction of that garment…….removing and replacing is time consuming, tedious and fiddly! That is why my standard charge is £20!