Posting holiday pics on line

This is an interesting one I think! I take loads of photos on holiday and post them on FB usually while we're still away. I think that would be a good way for you to redress the balance - if you use social media and have photos of all of you on holiday, post them! However, looking back at the years when my children were little, I also had help from my in-laws (to enable me to work, not on holiday!) but it's only now that I'm a grandma that I appreciate how hard it must have been some days for my in-laws. When we're in our 30s and 40s and bringing up a family, maybe juggling work too, we don't always show our appreciation for the help we receive from our parents. It's kind of just the way it is I'm afraid. Your daughter in law probably won't fully appreciate the help you've given them until she becomes a grandma herself! 🤷I wouldn't take it too personally 😌

Sorry but you seem a bah humbug type of person. Just because you don't like pucs of you the poster obviously does and she has a valid point

Ilovedogs22

I just hope for your sake Witzend that you weren't similary forced to go topless!! 😚
Ps. My very prissy elder sister goes topless abroad! I on the other hand need a full-on Victorian bathing machine & still someone (poor s☆d) to hold -up a big towel in front of my lady bits! 😶

😂

icanhandthemback

I have a DIL who has a collage of beautiful photos of everybody at the wedding except my husband and me. I didn't mention it but I was a little hurt, particularly for my husband. My other children noticed it and asked where we whereupon she looked embarrassed saying she hadn't realised. 12 years later it hasn't been rectified!
Still it is better than when another dil sat me with her father who hated me and was always rude to me. She then handed out presents to all the parents except me with lovely little speeches of how fantastic they were. I don't know what I had done wrong because we'd always had what I thought was a good relationship and she still acts as if we do!

It’s pure bitchery on their part.

Tallulah21

I think it bothers me because we had such a good time and now the parts of the holiday with us weren’t important enough to be included in her memories. There are plenty of photos of them and the children so she doesn’t have any problem with that. It’s almost like she has an imaginary life on line where everything is perfect and then reality where we are very much needed.

You’ve just answered your own question there! Online life for that generation and younger, is all about perfection.It’s downright weird.

We've had similar experiences in the past at beach pools in Italy but my husband and sons also had to wear a headcap. But not me!!

We were told that it was because of all the hair grease that the Italian and French men use.
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mabon2

Get over it.

I’m baffled as to why this person is always so rude? 🤷‍♀️

I have a DIL who has a collage of beautiful photos of everybody at the wedding except my husband and me. I didn't mention it but I was a little hurt, particularly for my husband. My other children noticed it and asked where we whereupon she looked embarrassed saying she hadn't realised. 12 years later it hasn't been rectified!
Still it is better than when another dil sat me with her father who hated me and was always rude to me. She then handed out presents to all the parents except me with lovely little speeches of how fantastic they were. I don't know what I had done wrong because we'd always had what I thought was a good relationship and she still acts as if we do!

One of my DILs posted her wedding photo album on FB, not one picture of me. Plenty of her parents and my DH and I don't think I'm that ugly that she would want to hide me away. I've never mentioned it but can't quite forget what seemed like an unpleasant slight.

Ask yourself it is really worth your while to encourage yourself to feel hurt about this.

The important thing is that you had a delightful holiday, surely?

Your DIL may just have posted some photos she especially likes and may never have realised that you and your DH are not in any of them.

Don't let this spoil the good relationship you obviously have with your son, his wife and their children,

Gransnet can show any amount of heartbreaks because someone has either taken or given offence and ended up estranged from their dear ones. Don't join these unfortunate ones.

I'm a bit stunned by the way some people view their children Unless the op has spoken to her son no one will ever know the reason why photos of them were not included.

Get over it.

You say yourself that you've "just returned"; is she has respect for you - and I'm betting she has both respect and gratitude - then my guess is that she's waiting to speak to you for your ok to post pictures of you before simply assuming it's ok !
Hang in there ...

Oh dear, we went to a Key Camp in France about 29 years ago with friends, two teenage boys along with the men folk were mortified to learn that it was budgie smugglers only in the swimming pool.

The younger children thought it was hilarious (so did us wives)

I just hope for your sake Witzend that you weren't similary forced to go topless!! 😚
Ps. My very prissy elder sister goes topless abroad! I on the other hand need a full-on Victorian bathing machine & still someone (poor s☆d) to hold -up a big towel in front of my lady bits! 😶

Did you pay for the holiday talululah? If you did, and were it me, i would be disappointed.

I don’t like looking at photos of myself in my own home so haveing them on social media is a definite no no! But that’s just me and I can see how upset it makes you feel if you was part of the holiday. A.c.dont see us as part of the human race, just parents and helpful grandparents so their behaviour in this case isn’t that odd from my experience. The pleasure of spending the time with the children makes anything worth it I feel.

Ilovedogs22

I wouldn't post my jollyday pics online. Why! for goodness sake?🤔
If I did, it would cause such a furore because of MrIlovedogs wearing his bright orange budgie-smugglers.
It is a sight that's certainly not for the faint of heart or anyone really! It's certainly a bold choice for a gentleman of a certain age. 🤔

😱! Though a couple of years ago dh actually had to buy budgie smugglers at a pool in France where other male swimwear was strictly not allowed!

Tallulah I m with you completely, I understand and I d feel the same It hasn’t happened to me I ve always been including in the photos on social media but I d be a bit surprised if I was removed, a bit mean, but yes I reckon she wants to be seen as having a perfect time with husband and kids and not want to admit that she ‘needed’ help OR could she be thinking her own mother might be a bit put out (if she has one of course)

Yep. It's hard, but I agree with othets who have said that online uploads of holidays are curated to project an image. Carefree. . family unit ...looking happy sun-kissed and self contained. Grandparents kind of ruin the look. All v superficial of course. But you know and they know the truth. Let that be enough xx.

You have memories of a delightful holiday, how lovely that is.

I can understand you were probably a bit surprised at apparently being invisible, but you could always ask her if it bothers you.

Why spoil the memory of a lovely holiday worrying about why you haven't been posted on your DD's facebook page?

this would do my head in as well. Did they thank you in person though?

Holidays with AC and grandchildren are always ‘touch and go’. My experiences were not the best, except for spending time with the GC . I would rather go with friends.
One of my friends said that when she went on holiday with her son, d.i.l. , grandson and d.i.l.s parents, she was given a room at the very top of the 3 floor apartment. She suffers badly from RA and it was a struggle going up and down.
I dont think young adults give much much consideration to the physical abilities or lack thereof, of their ageing parents.
Tallulah21 don’t let the ‘photos’ issue spoil your memories of, what you yourself refer to as a ‘delightful’ holiday.

Having a nice time is all that mattered. I wouldn’t need to have to show it to the world.