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AIBU - Is it fair for me to live like this?

(420 Posts)
ferry23 Mon 28-Jul-25 07:08:04

Some of you will know my health problem from my thread in Health about a paractice nurse not reading my notes and administering treatment against my wishes.

I'll not go back over the whole thing but suffice to say I've been living with a wound to my leg since before Christmas which just won't heal.

I do have a referral to the Vascular Unit but no idea how long that will be.

We are starting a new treatment today of trimovate cream which has to be applied every day for the first 5 days so I have to get to the surgery every day (about 3 miles away).

I've been going to the surgery initially twice a week since January and three times a week since beginning of June.

Lots of troubles with dressings slipping away from wound and bandages falling down or unravelling.

Although I'm told they're using the most absorbent dressings, within hours of a dressing change, fluids from the wounds have seeped through 3 layers of dressings and pads & the stockinette. .The volume is so great that it starts to pool around my ankle and the weight pulls the dressings down my leg. It look like I've got a tyre around my ankle - if this makes sense.

Once I get dressed it seeps through the trouser leg and often onto my shoe. If I get the angle slightly wrong, than even getting my knickers off can mean the knickers get pulled over the wet bandage and I then have wet knickers for the rest of the day. I can't go out as everything moves down my leg and anyway, it looks as if I've wet myself as the fluid seeps through my trousers.

I've just entered the next three weeks appointments with the nurse in my calendar and out of interest, I looked back to see when I actually went out socially. I've been out twice since the end of February.

Despite agreeing with one of the senior practice nurses that continuity of care and treatment by qualified nurses only is number 1 priority, I will be seeing 4 different people over the next couple of weeks, one of whom is a Health Care Assistant.

So I'm basically stuck at home staring at the walls sitting with a wet, cold, soggy mess of dressings and bandages around my leg and ankle. In considerable pain as the fluid is toxic and burns my skin as it collects in the dressing and rests on my leg for two or three days. I haven't been able to shower properly for months. The leg cover that you can get for showering is no good for my dressings.

I've now got to go through the rigmarole of trying to get myself dressed and into the surgery - having to go via the chemist to pick up the trimovate cream as they didn't deliver it to me on Friday and can't deliver until late this afternoon.

So my question is, am I being unreasonable to expect a better quality of life? I'm quite down in the dumps about it this morning as I've had this soggy mess of dressings, pads and bandage bunches up around my lower leg and ankle since Friday lunchtime. I'm not sure how much longer I can live like this.

Honest opinions please, if you think I should just suck it up then please say so. I genuinely would like to know if I really am being unreaonable.

Parsley3 Wed 13-Aug-25 11:30:27

It's good to hear much better news, ferry. Onwards and upwards. 💐

Charleygirl5 Wed 13-Aug-25 11:35:48

I started to read your thread with trepidation, but at last you are on the correct track.

At least you won't have to pay for expensive mini cab fares.

You are not there yet but the door is open at the end of the tunnel. The chink of light is a full light.

We now need a solicitor on GN to help in the near future!

Luckygirl3 Wed 13-Aug-25 11:36:06

I am pleased to hear that you are now being treated properly by people in whom you have confidence.

The surgery doesn't have access to the wound clinic - this worries me. If it is an NHS service it should be accessible to all. You should not have to find out about it by some random circuitous route.

Chocolatelovinggran Wed 13-Aug-25 11:38:05

What good news, ferry !

Allira Wed 13-Aug-25 11:39:02

I'm glad you are being taken seriously at last, ferry23 and that you are now being cared for by medical professionals who seem to know what they're doing.

There seems to be gaps in healthcare today if the GP cannot refer you to the Wound Clinic. I must admit a Wound Clinic is something I hadn't heard of, but I had to self-refer to Physiotherapy, the GP didn't do this, neither they nor the hospital wanted to see me after a fracture was diagnosed after an X-ray. No crutches, stick or any advice!

The Gucci shoe sounds like the ultra-fashion one I had after an operation. 😀

ferry23 Wed 13-Aug-25 12:22:12

Luckygirl3

I am pleased to hear that you are now being treated properly by people in whom you have confidence.

The surgery doesn't have access to the wound clinic - this worries me. If it is an NHS service it should be accessible to all. You should not have to find out about it by some random circuitous route.

It's apparently because it comes under community care so referral is via the District - aka Community - Nurse.

From the website -

How to access the service

Your community nurse will need to refer you.

Patsy70 Wed 13-Aug-25 13:05:08

Such very good news ferry. A pity about the lack of communication between each of the NHS surgeries & clinics. The pain and distress you have suffered could have been avoided. Wishing you well. 💐

Jaxjacky Wed 13-Aug-25 14:19:11

Phew ferry that does sound more constructive and supportive, about time to.

SueDonim Wed 13-Aug-25 14:25:45

I’m so pleased to learn that you finally seem to be on the right path. Ferry. What an ordeal this has been for you. flowers

Why the NHS has to be so labyrinthine, I do not know. It is so hard to negotiate when you’re already feeling unwell and not at your best.

aggie Wed 13-Aug-25 14:55:49

So glad you are in a better place now! Xxi

LizH13 Wed 13-Aug-25 15:22:54

I’ve been quietly following this thread and I’m so glad to read today that things seem to be moving forward and you are in a better place. You have had great support from GN which really is what it should be all about, I could offer no advice just horror at your treatment.
One thing that does strike me though is if the surgery couldn’t refer you why did they not give you the information to self refer as that would have seemed to have been possible. Surely they should be able to signposts to other clinics and agencies.
Good luck going forward Ferry23 flowers

olderme Wed 13-Aug-25 16:22:06

I agree Ferry that you should draw a line if possible. This nurse sounds very professional. Dwelling on the past won't help at present.
However,in the future , you have a lot of information on these pages to allow you to state clearly what has happened....and you should, for your own sake, and others.
Hope you continue, onwards and upwards.

DamaskRose Wed 13-Aug-25 16:52:17

Great news Ferry, I’m so pleased to hear that you are getting proper treatment at last and that you have confidence in the wound clinic nurse you saw. I agree that you should draw a line under the past eight months, for the time being, concentrate on getting better and feeling better, and then think about what steps you want to take. Give yourself time, it’s been so hard for you. Take care xx

Retroladywriting Wed 13-Aug-25 17:54:28

That sounds excellent and you sound like a very much happier Ferry than in your original post. For what it's worth I think the nurse is right about drawing a line under how it's been, but from your latest post, I'm guessing it will be a dotted one!
Hoping everything goes to plan and that your leg continues to heal well. Onwards and upwards to matching shoes now! 👠👠

cornergran Wed 13-Aug-25 18:35:20

I’m pleased and relieved for you in equal parts ferry if disappointed you weren’t made aware of the right service so much earlier on. Sleep well tonight.

Cressida Tue 19-Aug-25 17:22:38

How are things now? ferry23

Sarnia Tue 19-Aug-25 17:34:18

I was wondering about you. So pleased you are finally on the right track. Long may it continue!

NotSpaghetti Tue 19-Aug-25 18:52:20

LizH13 I would expect because they only know about their own little bit.

This happened to my mother-in-law with physio and would dressing!

shaneWarne Wed 01-Oct-25 10:02:21

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