AIBU Husbands new car

icanhandthemback. I'm so sorry your daughter is experiencing problems and the doctors are blaming it all on being overweight, it's a vicious circle, isn't it? I inherited my grt grandmothers body shape and type and she was larger and she was not fat as such, she was born into a working class family in 1898, so not really much chance to over eat and get fat. So many people do not take into account that genes have a huge part to play in weight and body type. I will stop there because this thread is not about weight etc.

Omaju, I agree with your second paragraph. The prejudice against fat people knows no bounds. It is extremely high in the medical profession. My daughter put on weight when she became disabled after the birth of her child. There were doctors who wouldn't treat her because they said she was too fat even though her BMI wasn't that high. She has PCOS and inherited her grandmother's 'fat' genes so once she was immobile, the weight became a problem. If they'd have treated her injuries to her spine, she could have been mobile again so could have lost the weight. The Dr in the pain clinic wouldn't even give her an epidural...he just showed her pictures of how much lettuce she could eat versus a slice of pizza taking no account of her being gluten and lactose intolerant! Honestly, you couldn't make it up!

This lady is a friend of a friend and I think that you could say that you want to get as much use out of the car as possible while both you and your husband still can, therefore, the weekly lifts will cease, she does have her own car and you shouldn't feel bad about telling her that you can no longer give her lifts.
One other thing though, FAT WOMAN! SELF INFLICTED, NO SYMPATHY! How do you know her weight gain is self inflicted? There are plenty of conditions and medications that cause weight gain. How B***DY RUDE and judgemental, the two commenters don't even know this woman!

JOJO on any forum there are those that are so sad they will read the absolute worst into any situation. It’s not too bad on GN, Mumsnet gets very agitated quite often by comparison.

To cross-stitch fan and old frill... I haven't "done a runner". I've had family visiting this weekend and have been busy baking and cooking.bI think your comments are quite cruel. I have been part of gransnet for many years, just don't always post because the thread is usually a few days old before I read it and other people have usually said the same as I would have said so I don't reiterate it. By the way, I have a life .... I am not glued to my phone 24/7.

JOJO60 you have made the right decision . Your friend either gets in the back or drives herown car. there is absolutly no way you should get in the back and leave your husband to drive with your friend in the front seat Sheis obviously given the history of how you came to be going to this club, very manipulative. Give an inch and she will take a mile. So stop this encoahment on your lifestyle now!

JOJO60

Thank you for all your replies. We only go out one night a week and using the new car would make it a bit special for us. The friend goes out multiple nights in her own car with other friends of hers. We only started sharing lifts because she persuaded us to go to this particular club, and one of her ways of persuading people is to go and pick them up so they can't say no. We then started taking it in turns, that then evolved into us doing the driving as we thought her driving was erratic and we didn't feel safe. Nothing will stop her doing what she wants to do though, she is very stubborn. We have decided to give her the choice, and if she feels uncomfortable in the back then it's up to her to take her own car.

I think your ‘friend’ is a nightmare and you and your husband must have the patience of a saint to put up with her. In your position, I would definitely use your new car. She can do what she likes!

I don’t think so. It took her such a long time to reply that I was justified in thinking she had done a runner. How long was I supposed to wait before wondering where she had got to?

Crossstitchfan

JoJo60 came new, made her comment, and promptly disappeared.
What a waste of space! Why do some pratts do this?
She needs to get a life!

An apology is warranted here.

Excellent solution.
Good idea.

Thank you for all your replies. We only go out one night a week and using the new car would make it a bit special for us. The friend goes out multiple nights in her own car with other friends of hers. We only started sharing lifts because she persuaded us to go to this particular club, and one of her ways of persuading people is to go and pick them up so they can't say no. We then started taking it in turns, that then evolved into us doing the driving as we thought her driving was erratic and we didn't feel safe. Nothing will stop her doing what she wants to do though, she is very stubborn. We have decided to give her the choice, and if she feels uncomfortable in the back then it's up to her to take her own car.

Why not just turn up in the new car. She will see she can’t get in it and take her own.

eazybee

(Why should they sit in the back?)Because she is reluctant to refuse her friend a lift.
I am still confused.
Is the husband unable to drive this new car which is his pride and joy?

No, he drives the new car, but not on the way home, the wife drives then, I surmised he has a drink and she doesn’t.

He can’t sit in the back, hips and knees problems, neither can the friend who is too large to get in.

The friend is a driver, so could drive herself, and perhaps offer them a lift if she has always been taken by them in the past?

DH could sit with her in the front, wife can pop in the back, problem solved.

I'm in the "use the old car" camp.
I don't see this as a problem.
Take your lovely new one when she's not with you.

OldFrill

Crossstitchfan

JoJo60 came new, made her comment, and promptly disappeared.
What a waste of space! Why do some pratts do this?
She needs to get a life!

If I had posted that load of twaddle I'd have disappeared too

Having said that JOJO90 has been posting/participating for a few years. Maybe she's out for a long spin with her weighty pal.

Crossstitchfan

JoJo60 came new, made her comment, and promptly disappeared.
What a waste of space! Why do some pratts do this?
She needs to get a life!

If I had posted that load of twaddle I'd have disappeared too

Just tell her.

(Why should they sit in the back?)Because she is reluctant to refuse her friend a lift.
I am still confused.
Is the husband unable to drive this new car which is his pride and joy?

Probably DH wants to have a drink, which is why his wife drives home.

And maybe they always used to go in the ‘old’ car, not the 2 seater, but now he wants to keep using the new car.

If the neighbour can drive herself, perhaps that’s what she should be doing.

Why should the OP or her DH feel obliged to sit in the back?

JoJo60 came new, made her comment, and promptly disappeared.
What a waste of space! Why do some pratts do this?
She needs to get a life!

Jaxjacky

If it’s a good friend I’d carry on in the other car, it’s only one night a week, a friendship is more important than going out in a new car to me.

My thoughts exactly.

Some friend ! ! Tell her to get lost.

I simply don’t understand how three of you fitted into the 2- seater? Did she sit on your husband’s knee?

You buy a car for your own use. Not so you can take your lovely neighbour out for a joy ride. Maybe ask her if you can drive her car. To give her a.lift. See what she says

But no.o e would buy a different car just to give a neighbour the odd lift. No.mattwr how friendly the neighbours were.

Goodness, if that is the only thing you have to worry about, that you can't use your nice new car instead of the other one for one day a week for a friend, you are very lucky. First world problem.